h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What about snails then?

(Are snails fussy eaters too?)

My eldest was a fussy baby/toddler, and is now an eight year old eating machine. Sure he likes chocolate (although he went through a recent phase of not liking chocolatey things - honest), but he also voluntarily (even, enthusiastically) eats broccoli, and will try most things if asked. We had the usual eating tantrums, battles and days when biscuits were the staple diet, but they pass. At two, they begin to realise they can make choices, and annoy their parents.

The best answer is to avoid turning food into a battleground. Suggest they try it, reward them for even one mouthful swallowed, and save sweeties for 'afters'. So long as they get plenty to drink (pint of milk a day, right?), a couple of days of not eating much won't do any harm, may sharpen their appetite, and is less stressful for all concerned. If they don't like a certain foodstuff, leave it for a month or two, and offer it again (making no reference to the last occasion). Respect them like you would expect to be respected.

(Sorry, another rather long rambling entry!)

You were lucky it changed at 8. We were on holiday with friends and their 16 year old 6'4" son (just under 2m for the metric among us). He ate non stop but none of it was what I would describe as healthy. At breakfast he had bakewell tart, for lunch he had jelly bears (4 packs) he ate marshmallows and other sweetie stuff and the occasional burger and chips. He refused point blank to eat just about anything else.

I think sex comes into diet. Not gender, sex. I was really fussy before I started going out with girls. I then became so self conscious about being faddy in their presence that I started to eat stuff that I previously didn't like.

Thats why you send them to "Day Care" so they puke there

I think you're onto something here amongst all the raving. Social meal times, meeting bodily needs, natural selection, detritus, the shitty state of the world.
I have heard that the latest way to meet a future life partner is in your favourite aisle at the supermarket. Ability to suss out food preferences, ethnic background, lifestyle, income level etc, by what's in the shopping trolley - get the picture?
Anyway, these kids that don't eat. What they are probably doing is working towards the day when all the world is a shit heap and they don't need nutrients, so they meet at the local tip (one in every suburb) to hang out and meet potential partners. They live on the detritus which is served up to them and the natural selection process will have ensured that only the toughest survived. The greatest nutrient intake will be the stuff which they absorb through their skin!
(On reflection, this sounds a bit like a spam for McDonalds, so maybe our kids are further down the evolutionary path than I suspected previously!! What a *diabolical* thought!!

Oh boy, yes that last comment is so true. For years i had flatly refused to eat peas, then i find myself in front of a girl i like and guess what, suddenly i eat them as if i always had. It's a very sad thing to do, but it also demonstrate just how fussy we can get these days.

Vestboy, I suspect your friends gave in rather too easily on the sweetie issue, although I'm sure most children (especially teenagers) go through a phase of eating junk. Also, on the sex issue, I feel you have a good point. Many people (especially women) like to portray themselves as healthy eaters/on a permanent diet, but have secret binges. I think it also has a lot to do with social attitudes. We tend to pigeon hole someone we regularly see eating 'junk food' as fat/lazy/devoid of willpower, or whatever.

Aha, That's it! You've diagnosed me Dr. I AM THAT PERSON. "Fat/Lazy/Devoid of will power."
What am I to do?

Work for Microsoft in Quality Assurance?

If you take a beer bong(funnel with a tube), run the tube into the childs stomach, then fill it with the liquified version of the food the youngster will be forced to eat. Eventually you can condition the child to either eat his food or use the tube. He will probably choose to eat.

This may sound something of a challenge, but... try some HOME cooking, two-year old style. ie get him/her to do the (cold part of the) cooking; kids are much more likely to eat something they've made themselves. at two you'll have to do most of the work and make it exciting, but it does start off experimentation with food - and a willingness to try more things.

start off with making simple pastry dough and rolling it out, then letting him/her make biscuits with cookie cutters.
mini-pizza bagels with "face" vegetables
grow your own veg in his/her own patch, they dig them up with grown up help & eat them.
make messy mixtures - cakes or tomato sauce casseroles
involve him/her in stirring the mixture
get them to hold the string down with their finger and tie them by accident into the roast & threaten to put them into the oven
get them to rub the marinade over the meat
make the chicken nuggets - chop the chicken into nuggets and prepare some bread crumbs and crack an egg. get him/her to beat the egg, slosh the chicken in it and coat it in breadcrumbs (or flour), then you can fry it.
stuff mushrooms/peppers/potatoes with mixes of mince/chopped tomatoes/herbs/pepper/egg/peas/sweetcorn/grated carrot... get him/her to do the mixing - with their hands (really messy & great fun!!!)

get excited about food in front of him/her - really important - make food fun. NOW not when they are older. if my brother is anything to go by, fussy children don't grow up until they go to university and have to cook for themselves.
NEVER say you don't want/like something even when they are not around

I get really excited about food. I have done the stuff with children cutting shaping and stuffing. I have watched their little faces glow with pride as their masterpiece is put on the table. I have watched them eat bread and jam and refuse to touch the stuff, expecting the rest of the family to eat it dirty finger marks and all.

In my house, the cook HAS to eat what is cooked. At least one bite. even if the cook is a child. espceially if the cook is an adult or older child.

I dunno, I agree with all the stuff about involving children in their food, making cooking an exciting thing. However, I do think that really the best thing to do with children that get faddy with their food (and it certainly isn't unusual, that's one important thing) is to not let them know that it's bugging you. Of course you (we) want our children to eat right, but one of the easiest routes of control for a child..especially a very young one is their food. So if they see you getting all worked up about the fact they're only eating cereal or whatever..then they have establishedf control. I guess it's best to offer children the right food as much as possible, but not to get too hung up if they refuse it. I used to have to go and try to persuade my little brother to eat his dinner at primary school. It made my life a misery. I'm sure he was enjoying all the attention!! He's 30 and hale and hearty now. Little bugger.

Sorry to be random, but isn't it Aziraphale?

What about finding some form of TV programme featuring someone kids like eating something healthy? Maybe there'll be a special episode of the teletubbies where they spurn tubby tustard for broccoli, potatoes and runner beans? Maybe kids don't believe potatoes to be food after all the printing and making-little-potatomen games.

Have your kids enjoy cooking food. If they made it themselves they will like it no matter how terrible it will taste. Important fact: They really don't care a dime if YOU like the taste!!! In fact I suspect the little buggers to enjoy serving you food you dislike.

Things that are great to have your kids to do:
- deserts (anytime, also very great at kids-parties!!!)
works allways and is a great start in their enjoyment of making a mess of the kitchen. Especially have a lot of those tiny cups with pie-decoration stuff and let them beautify a piece of icecream or a pancake.
- ravioli (usefull once in a while, but take this as an example)
Now this is already going into the direction of real food. Making the ravioli (not out of a tin!!!) means this: you make the filling and have the kids fill the pasta. If you have a thingy to make those nice edges of the ravioli this is great fun for them. The mess in your kitchen is also great.
- teach them to make nice paintings with their food (can work years):
good material for artistry are meshed potatoes and various sauces.
Let them build a nice pile of mesh and make channels into it to form a face. Fill this with just enough gravy or ketchup to make the face come to live. Use the veggies and meat to make hair and stuff, but VERY IMPORTANT don't tell them what to do and never do it for them, if you have to show off use your own plate, after all their plate is THEIR fantasy. You see, it ain't special ingedrients but it's the presentation that does the trick!

Do not EVER have your kids clean up the kitchen after they made a mess. This is an adult job. If you have them cleaning the kitchen you spoil all the fun. Fun is good, so the real food which is fun must be good too and so it is edible. Cleaning the kitchen afterwards is not fun so the food aint fun and is not edible. Try to be a child.
You might even enjoy making a mess of your kitchen.

Great tip for all those mothers: you and your kids make a great mess and have all the fun. Daddy can do the cleaning .

...hey! I AM Daddy.

Yeah, what do you expect... I'm a son and I do all the cooking

I used to hide roast beef under my daughters custard so she wouldn't notice. But when she found out she hid my car!