h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm setting priorities.
You don't appear to be overly fast at several things.
He's a procrastinator.

1. I
express myself freely, creatively, on a wide range of subjects across the internet.

2. You're a flaming troll!

3. And then there's Wumbeevil.

I show interest in other people.
You are a bit nosy.
She is an interfering busybody.

I am a slightly absent-minded middle-aged woman
You are forgetful (it's your age dear)
She is a senile old crone

I have my little bedtime peccadilloes.

You are a perverted b*****d

He is a Conservative MP.

I am economical with the truth.

You are a lying b*****d.

Hi, I'm Richard Nixon.

I love to entertain visitors.

You will look at the clock and say, "Oh is that the time?"

He is Fred West.

I will spend all day cooking a banquet for dinner guests.

You will send out to the local takeaway for six curries.

He is Jeffrey Dahmer.

Wilson was a socialist.

Heath was a Conservative.

Ooh look, is that Tony Blair?

I am a moron.

You have the brains of JFK apres Dallas.

He watches Neighbours.

I am a Spindoctor.

You are Joseph Goebbels.

He makes ads for TV.

OUCH!
Revenge is a dish best served cold

I am not a doormat
You give as good as you get
He is a vengeful barsteward

LOL

Mel

I commune with angels

You're quite psychic

She wears too much patchouli.


Af

I freelance.

You're between engagements.

He's a lazy shiftless unemployed bum, with far too much time on his hands.

I have a good sense of humour

You are desperate for approval

He should have a contract to write comedy for the BBC

Cool a positive thought there!

Mel

I'm a bit ecentric
You're a little crazy
He's mad as a hatter.

I'm a rascal
You're naughty
He ought to be locked up for ever

Mel

I think things through carefully.
You take an awfully long time to make up your mind.
He's incapable of making a decision.