h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, maybe that's where the term "square" comes from ....

>I was just walking by the new Swedish girl, and laughed at something. She asked what I was laughing at and I mentioned it was something that happened over at another desk. She said she thought I was just laughing to myself, and that I should be careful or they'd just think I was insane or so.<

Fool! That was an opening for flirtation, if I ever saw one!

Tips of the day:
1. Carry and enormous stuffed bear around a shopping district where you live. Women will gravitate towards you.

2. Look at something a woman is wearing, like a necklace and ask "what's the story behind that?" It shows her you're interested and sensitive and you're noticing things that are (probably) special to her. This is a great conversation starter, she'll rarely refuse to talk about it.

here's an even better one - borrow a small child, a cute one preferably. take child about with you, but try to look like a doting uncle, god-daddy or something. tell you why - first, the obvious chick magnet thing. second, you will have an excuse for enthusiastic interaction. you can do or say things that would otherwise get you wierd looks if you were by yourself.

Yeah, that's a really good one. The only trouble is finding someone who'll lend you a baby for the purpose of picking up chicks.

You'd be surprised who a sleep-deprived mother would be willing to hand her kids off to .

Fortunately for my kids (?), they're good and um..Dentonite like their mother. I don't do mornings...ok, before i veer off topuc any further...

This is going back a long way to where the subject of compliments comes up again. Andrew, Ictoan and Xanatic agree that compliments don't always work, although they're not sure why. Ictoan reiterated what I said about complimenting on some achievement the other person has attained themselves (chosen a nice sweater; does their hair nicely) rather than complimenting someone on something they can't do anything about (colour of eyes, size of boobs)

A sly way of making a compliment is to ask for advice, or an opinion - because you are implying that the person has good taste or good sense, but without actually saying it.

Having read on, I see that Kelli says this, too. But it's an important enough point to keep coming back to.

What sort of compliments do men like to hear then? (the obvious one that springs to mind is "Boy that's BIG - whatever it is). I once read a sort of humorous article where people tried out different approaches and the best one that went down with men seemed to be "that's lovely material". The most important thing is, though, that you would finger the guy's lapel at the same time - so it's probably the touching that does it, though indirect - rather than the actual words. Although this compliment fits in with the category of not mentioning something that they are, but commenting on their taste.

I think the idea of having a "low self-esteem" corner of cafes is brilliant - but too easily abused. Of course, in a way, there is this disctinction. The people with lower self-esteem will be at the back of the room, next to the kitchn or the toilets and certainly not in the window! (If he window seat was the only one available, they will be hiding behind a newspaper or the menu)


I'm going to post this now so it doesn't get too long. I've just found something else I want to say!

How was that an opening for flirtation?

The other point is about girls liking men to be a bit of a pig. I've been thinking hard about this. What really is a turn on is when a guy can laugh - really let go. That is, he has no inhibitions.

So, if he is uninhibited, or to put it negatively, can lose control, he is just as likely to do this by being nasty to his woman. So some women will take this on for a less boring life, maybe. Provided the positive side of the passion is kept up, one or two tantrums can be tolerated.

The iceberg analogy is probably applicable here, as you don't see what goes on in the bedroom (the greater proportion of the relationship), but you might more often see them shouting at each other at the front door or somewhere more public.

Scuse me butting in here but I have to say I agree with il viaggiatore. It sounds like she wanted to talk to you or at least bring another person into their conversation.

2p
TSF

> Andrew, Ictoan and Xanatic agree that compliments don't always work, although they're not sure why

I do sort of know why.

My question was in the vein of a psychology question ... *why* why? Obviously it's because the female mind is set up in a certain way, but why should it be set up *that* way? There seems no obvious benefit to mistrusting compliments of that sort.

I think you all think I imagine girls ought to like compliments about their boobs, which isn't the case ... it's simply a matter of "why are humans like this"?

And yeah, could have been an opening for flirtation. It sounds like negative flirtation, which is effectively saying "chase me". She makes a negative comment and you try to refute it. Why? Because you are insterested. It does happen. Of course you can do the same thing.

You might sometimes see couples having friendly slanging-matches ... well, I have. Maybe I know weird couples.

I don't think it was an invitation for flirtation. Sounds funny. I guess maybe I should have said I am crazy, crazy for her. Or something.

No, that's too fast. The chase is then over. You have to enjoy it, ride around with it. You can instead say something a little sharper like "well, actually I was laughing at you".

Or not.

But the point is you shouldn't regard that kind of remark as a complete rebuff. For anyone to make such a rebuff would be astonishingly rude, and if she is astonishingly rude then what have you lost by making the mistake of assuming she's being playful?

I guess there's a chance it was flirting.

When you see a chance like that (and you'll get better at recognizing them) seize it. Better yet, stroke it delicately with your fingertips.

"Be careful or people will think you're insane or something"

1) "You mean there are actually people that don't?"

2) "Oh, all the best people are insane."

3) "But didn't you know? I AM."

If you can master the art of the flippant remark, delivered with a big grin, it really doesn't matter whether it was meant to be a put-down or not. If it was it hasn't worked and if (as is more likely) it was an opening you've returned the serve.

, master of the

I can come up with some good counter remarks, it just takes a few hours But often I say things that sound so stupid I mentally kick myself afterwards.

But if someting comes that sound like an invitation to flirt I'll give it a go.

Thank you ... I was off form, but those are the primary three.

"tef"?

tef what?

?