h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sorry deackie . I tarred you with the same brush as Mycroft.

Being a very small, very intelligent, female, 'foreigner' in this country means being patronised a great deal (Four times over!) by the Great English Yeomanry (salt of the earth, what! ) and I got rather addicted to watching the confusion on their faces when I used my tongue on them
Mycroft chose the wrong time of the month to patronise me (PTB, can we have a smiley please) and once the defence mechanism had kicked in I automatically assumed Honey³ and you were being patronising too (as well as blindly pc)

and make up?

Ben, are you diclsexy...sledyicx...excsylid... oh drat - entirely normal?

Well, I really hate to think I was entirely normal.

A failed touch-typist called Ben

Dear Corinth,

I have a sad message for you: there are no nice friendly girls.

Well, I was nice and friendly when I was a girl. I still had short legs though.

a nice and friendly woman called Ben

I bet I would have liked your legs!

Autumn, I suggest you make some use of that intelligence and be a little less presumptuous next time.

Hey, Mycroft, Autumn has already said that she is working on hormones not brainwaves this week.

Q - What is the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorrist?

A - You can negotiate with a terrorist

Plus - Autumn has already apologised all round. I think she is doing pretty well.

a terrorist one week in four called Ben

Sorry, Ben, the horse testosterone shots I've been taking today prevented me from seeing the wholly unprejudicial tone Autumn adopted in her last post.

Nice one Mycroft
I'd like to congratulate you on your skill. A lot of people have noticed it.
You're not as good at taking it as you are at dishing it out tho, are you?

Whatever gave you the idea that was an unprejudicial tone?
Your first post in this thread was extremely sarkie (and patronising). Don't tell me you really didn't expect a response?

Anyway I don't have any braincells left to work with
Didn't you know no-one over 40 knows anything?
Premature salinity (or should that be postmature?)

Oh god - flame wars!

*hides behind the sofa, and finds a small plastic star wars figure, a copy of 'Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married' a toffee (wrapped) and a boiled sweet (unrapped and furry)*

a coward called Ben

Where?
Can I hide with you?
*Passes *

Thanks for the chololate. Here is the toffee.


***B

I assume that by my first post on this thread you mean the first one you read... It's not that I didn't expect a response, but I did expect a slightly more cogent textual analysis - if a post has a question mark at the end then you would do well to consider the possibility that it is in fact a question and not a declarative statement.

I question the accuracy of your (self-given?) title, Wonko-the-Sane, if you assert that there are no nice friendly girls. There are scads, all over!
Ah, my devoted fans, and your quibbling over punctuation, social constructions, and wife-beating, you are so cute! I love you all!

Whoops! Time to make a phone call!

Well, since it seems to have worked so well for Corinth I think I´ll also give it a go. So where do I find some nice friendly non-backstabbing girls? I´m 20 years old, desperate, and willing to use the term nice in a very broad sense.

Corinth's three-step nice, friendly girl acquisition process:
1. Get out, smile at every girl you see.
2. Talk to the ones that smile back. Don't be shy, you stand to gain nothing from shyness.
3. Be a charming b*****d.