h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So just how do you keep a man interested. I have met a lovely guy and I like him a lot. Last week he made a comment about me keeping him on his toes... trouble is I am not very good at this. If I like people I can't play games with them so I need some tips. It sounds silly but I guess I am asking how do I play it cool?

Has any one got any good ideas?

Hmmm, that sounds tough...
There's no accounting for individual taste.

My advice would be to play it just as you want and if that doesn't work then it doesn't work. No one can keep up an act forever.
And hey, if it does work then you've found someone who likes you for who you are.

everything depends on the man in question but really trying to be something aother than yourself is always a bad idea

Be yourself. Always.

But there are times when I have to make sure I dont pick up the phone and dial the number, or send another email...

agcB

You mean overdo it?
I run that risk the whole time too.

you carnt really overdo it, you can only find out how commited they are quicker

wow - brilliant advice. I was wondering whether this was the right place to find some people to talk to and I guess it was.

That is exactly it. I am like a labrador puppy, I bound up to people and wag my tail and want to play. I guess the problem is that I love the attention I get from him and when I don't get it, it kind of feels like the sun has gone in and I want it to come back out so the temptation is to get in touch.

Also I think that some people find it all a bit much or assume that I am a certain thing. And then the thrill of the chase is lost.

Well I think most people quite like that
As for the sun going in, don't worry too much about that as it's ust part of people's natural mood cycles.

And if there wasn't a night time to compare it with there'd be no concept of daylight.
(how profound of me... )

Well, it depends on what you want and what they want and what you think they want and what they think you want and what you think they think you want and so on round and round and round in circles.

At least if they phone you, you know they want to talk to you. If you phone them, then you can't be certain about that.

I know this because I have made the running once or twice, but I ended up being very uncertain where I stood.

agcB

Absolutely. In my experience making the running leaves you a nervous wreck!

Speaking as a bloke, I think Jerry Hall's method of keeping a bloke was quite nice

A favourite subject of A Girl Called Ben it is too


Seriously though, as someone said, just be yourself, that advice goes both ways. I don't like it when someone pretends to be what they're not as they end up lying to you to keep the pretense going at that is not a good plan to keep someone.

I've never heard te phrase "make the running"
Is that when you do all the work? (the calling and worrying and so on?)

What, Language?

agcB

Having to make the running can be a nightmare for either sex - hopefully it should be a mutual thing; if both parties are equally committed, then neither will get to the stage of thinking 'I'm the one that always arranges everything - why don't they...' etc etc.

Even though it may seem polite to be something of a shrinking violet, I've found there's nothing more irritating than someone bereft of ideas on this front. (and I'm probably being *so* hypocritical here) It's just that someone perpetually going 'ooh, I don't mind, you choose' comes across to me as not having much of an opinion of their own. I'd rather someone made suggestions or had an opinion on suggestions I make than being a bit bland and wishy-washy.

Sorry, I'm ranting *and* drifting here. Apologies.

Simulpost -

yes, that is exactly what 'making the running' is, and very hard work it is too.

agcB

Indeed

Oh there is a difference between making phone calls and making decsions.

Completely agree about people who will always say 'I dont mind...' You end up wondering if they actually have one!

It is just that being enthusiastic can tip into being obsessive... Beleive me, this is how I feel about Cadbury's Cocolate Cream Mousses (sold in packets of 3 - I ask you!)

agcB

yes I think that is it.

I think sometimes people think that my enthusiasm is obsession and that turns them off. Which it isn't at all.

But thanks for the advice folks and keep it coming. Most of my friends have been no help at all. They just look at me and go "I really don't know what to say!" This makes me want to shake them and yell "I don't care what you say, just say something!"

you know whay that is dont you??
they dont know what you want them to say. they are scerd of saying the rong thing sothink it is better to say nothing while we dont really know you so genrallly dont really care if we say somthin you dont like (does that make sence?)

enthuseasm can be bad but most of the time it is because they think you are looking for somthing they dont want (usually involving a gold ring) but there are always ways round that.

Or else they do have an opinion, but think that it is the exact opposite of what you want to hear.

More trying to read minds and ending up going around in circles.

agcB