h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

taht would be kinda cool

The good news is that I'll give you my personal supply.

The bad news is that I don't *have* a personal supply.

we may be getting a rosemary bush for the balcony.... At least, I think W will let me hav ea rosemary bush... no truee.... I guess I've got to agree... and call this compromise a tree... on the balcony... though... I might try sneak one in one day just a small 7 foot tall one to start with

Are you speaking of ...



- - - a shrubbery?

If so, you could call it W.

it may be starting as a shrubbery..... but it wont' be long... before there are trees It'll all end... in ...... sycamores....

You must take 2Legs a shrubbery - or else you will never return alive. One that looks nice, and not too expensive.

<BB<

The idea of a rosemary bush does have merit.

Train it to an upright stance and prune it right and it should be possible to develop an appearance superficially like that of a bonsai spruce, while the prunings can make a useful addition to the spice cabinet.

How about a nice azalea bush?

"...a branch large enough to stand on..."

An elm might be a good choice in this case.

One can buy a tree slightly taller than the width of the balcony, rig a siphon feed to the side of its bucket to keep it watered, feeding water into the siphon tube, top it so its a little shorter than the width of the balcony, turn it on its side in a larger box, allow a side shoot near the base to come up to become the main trunk of the tree, repotting in a larger box once that's well established to provide optimal elevation of the climbing and sitting branch (the original main trunk when initially purchased).

You can, at this point start a second main trunk at the opposite end of the climbing and sitting branch by means of burying its tip in a second box and training a second off shoot into a vertical trunk.

Elms are very tolerant of radical pruning and forming and layer easily when their branches are buried, and springy enough to make a good climbing tree.

For the most rapid development of sound woody tissue it should be allowed as much foiliage (leaf cover) as possible, pruning so far as possible and reasonable restricted to autumn, following the annual leaf fall.

Wouldn't it make more sense to buy a potted tree big enough to support you, turn it on its side, and sit on the horizontal trunk?

SInce the late 70's, no elm tree lasts long in Canada. I nurtured 3 from sprouts to good growth. Andthe Dutch elm disease claimed them after about 12 years

the balcony is... oo, maybe 3 or 4 ft deep, maybe 8 foot wide and... well... so tiny hence why I want a tree on it. it would just be... insane

So insanity is a prerequisite?

absolutely! can't be doing with sensible ...

Couldn't you just imagine a branch to sit on, then?

yes... but... it woudln't be ... quite as daft as growing a tree on my tiny balcony - it could hang on out into the street, and I could climb out onto a branch and sit above the busy main road underneath!

You don't need the whole tree, just a branch big enough to sit on. It doesn't even have to be alive.

true... but not sure how to affix a tree truck to the side of the balcony! and... actually that might need permission for 'altering the building' *thinks*