h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Im as old as you, faun is 22 but mentally 5. Anderson is still a child and fisheye is one of those ageless types.

So fisheye is an old fart, you'r a werido like me and the rest are kiddlies?

Awww, aint they sweeeeet?

beardo is two score and 1... strangely thats the amount of times hes appeared on the register!!

back in his lab, all was not lost
beardo's underwater dream could not fail at any cost

i need to go old skool. this science isn't working
and in the corner of the room an old fan was lurking

an idea began forming in gareth's sick mind
what if i somehow attatched that fan to my big behind

my attempt to create fish vision failed miserable with paul
why not use those darth vader goggles i have on the wall

but the conundrum of air is one i still must solve
this acursed human race is too slow to evolve

a goldfish bowl lay in the corner, occupied once by the lone fish
his dream was coming true...he would become the first underwater sith!

and so gareth set to work on his new mechanical contraption
but a knock on the door caused quite a distraction

it was ol' tumnus gareth's fellow inventor out in the frost
who'd still not invented a way to stop his hair loss

hey gareth, word got out of your underwater crusade
and so an underwater orc suit for you i have made

but gareth was too engrossed in his crazy underwater idea
get out foolish faun! and so tumnus scurried away in fear

gareth worked day and night to create underwater locomotion
to reduce drag he covered himself in in a special oily lotion

the ingriedients of this lotion are both strange and disgusting
although it is widely used by orcs whose skin begins crusting

after 40days and 40nights the contraption was complete
gareth was ready to attempt his underwater feat

so at midnight he travelled to the docks of cardiff bay
his abnormal appearance made even the tramps stay away

a goldfish bowl over his head would gave him air for half an hour
he'd hooked up his old bike pedals to the fan to give the blades power

he'd decided to prop the fan on the back of his jeans
since there was most sapce there, enough infact, to plant a small tree

gareth slowly approached the edge of the pier
he would give the underwater creatures something new to fear

back on the docks the sailors thought 'oh what a plonker'
but gareth didnt care, he had an underwater realm to conquer

I am pleased to say I have today discovered the soundtrack to my summer... Newton Faulkner. One word- AMAZING!

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I need none of that equipment for an underwater crusade. I'll have you know I'm a trained and qualified diver and lifeguard.

I dont know about that, but I feel the Newton Faulkner comment may well be unforgivable...

I'll agree with Robyn but more out of general contempt for you popper.

Thanks... I think. Nice to know who's got your back and why...

i am not a child. i am 18. ignore these other guys trying to chat you up robyn. they are quite scary in real life

Soundtrack to my summer is going to have to be a mix of kenny rogers and saxon (killing ground album)

Coward of the County will forever remain one of my favorite trax. Along with A Boy Named Sue

'i am not a child. i am 18. ignore these other guys trying to chat you up robyn. they are quite scary in real life'

That means your a child.

I agree little man, ur being defensive over something you cannnot defend

summer soundtrack

stereophonics performance and cocktails

I've yet to meet a scary man.

Most of them pretend but give em half an hour with me, they'll know what it's like to be around someone with *balls*

And before you start childish ing... I dont mean literally, I'm talking about the real thing, having guts, honesty, and no fear of looking stupid, so long as what you're doing makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else.

Robyn, it's like u just described me, I have to be that guy dressed like this

Summer soundtrack, there's no contest:

The Offspring - Smash.
Green Day - Well, whole back catalogue!
Guns N Roses - Appetite for Destruction.
Pantera - Reinventing Hell (best-of almbum, just easier to carry)
Dodgy - For some awful indie summer festival goodness
House of Pain - Jump around (because it needs o be played at random intervals all year round)
Slipknot - (pick carefully and make your own mix...)
Whitesnake - Best-Of.
Gnarls Barkley - the first one... Cos it's damned good and something different for when metal's just not the way to go...


It has to be said, I'd also put together a random mix CD of Pitchshifter, Pendulum, Fear Factory, Powerman 5000 and so on for a bit of a more dancy/metal week