h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mmn... I like the 'non' at the end. I think you might want to modify the rest a little. Of my own, it's quite posh, but I don't speak softly, I speak every word clearly, in a manner that obviously says 'I'm better than you. And scarier'!

I apologise if any offence has been caused to anyone, especially northeners, as I am myself one. However, anyone can put on an accent. If whatshername can pretend to be Beatrix Potter, anyone can do English.

sherse gotsh to be *shluurp* a.... ugh! urr! it sheemsh shomeonesh poishoned my *shluurp*.....urgh......urrr....non?

Yes, I instructed Mini-me to poison your as you were being rather incomprehensible in your last post.
(aside) good boy, Mini-me.

Now, to business.

Now then! That's direct flouting of the rule 982405, paragraph 145. Give the antidote at once, please. I'd hate for you to have to leave and be good. Especially as that's for once a really evil thing to do, with the whole getting someone else to do it for you.

Being a life long Southerner I should speak with a drawl, right? Well, I'm definitely not posh!

Cheese sandwich anyone? (non-evil random moment there )

offer of cheese sandwich spurs recovery....

*yeesh pleash *slurp* non?

Don't worry - the 'poison' was just a noecebo(sp?) - the opposite of a placebo. You should feel depression at worst. But I could slip a bunch of them into MI6's water supply! That'll disrupt them for long enough for the main bulk of our plan to succeed...whatever that may be.

Anyone got any good plans?

I'm currently up to my ankles in custard. I don't do my best thinking like that, I'm afraid.

That's stupid - custard increases brain power. Its the dreaded cheesecake that nullifies it.


We could cover all the world's leaders in cheesecake, causing them to be as dumb as George Bush, unless thet give us money and custard

No. What would we do with George Bush? I don't want him to get away unharmed and your scheme would have no effect on him.

Right - this plan is pure genius - anyone with an IQ below that of a maggot - this means George Bush, anyone involved in *shudders* 'Big Brother', stupid celebrities who fill the news and tabloids constantly, and editors of tabloid newspapers - shall all be killed by a genetically engineered virus - a bit like the one in Red Dwarf series 8, only it doesn't destroy hair and clothes etc.

This is all getting too complicated for me

I'll just sit in the corner with this

Any other ideas most welcome.

I think we should all get to sit in a corner with a in the round room. Fair?

Yay! Who provides the toffee apples?

you.

Sorted then!

Yay! *takes toffee aple* thankyou! *goes and sits in corner of round room to eat toffee apple* Yummmm!