h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1. Do your teddies talk to you at night?
The squirrels have abducted all my teddies and will only give them back when I've hugged every sheep called George

2. Whenever you go into a field of sheep, do you feel the need to hug them, squeeze them, and call them George?
I have to otherwise I won't get my teddies back

3. Is your blankey out to get you?
No, or possibly yes or maybe it's just the squirrels

4. Do you believe that Bill Gates is an alien from outer space and has brainwashed everyone into believing his products are actually good?
Oh I do hope so...

5. Have you ever seen a giant floating banana?
Every day of my life since my teddies were abducted. I think its sign fom the squirrels

6. Do you enjoy playing with firearms? And if you’ve never used one, do you enjoy playing with imaginary firearms?
I will when the squirrels return my teddies

7. Do you believe squirrels will overthrow power and rule the world?
They've already taken over *my* world

8. Have you ever thought pea soup was something you did in the bathroom?
All the time

9. Have you ever put your underwear over your pants?
and my ears, and t-shirt


And finally…

10. Do you believe you’re sane?
Of course, its just the squirrels trying to drive me nuts

You know how crazy people are supposed to talk to themselves?
How many times have people given you a weird look when you were in a car, say, on a wet windy day, windows rolled up, having an argument with your better half through the handsfree?
Once a lady yelled out of her car window "where's the f**ing supermarket" and I answered her... "turn left on Elton!"
(she was taking directions from her brother to his new flat while trying to do a u-turn)..
I drive a lot
Wilma

People often give me weird looks for talking to myself.
I just think "Well, is their anyone better to talk to?"


Magwitch, you are insane! Congratulations! And damn those little squirrels for stealing your teddies!

I find talking to myself in the supermarket helps quite a bit, people think your crazy, give you a wide berth (trolleys, miraculously, disappear from your path) and you have people letting you in front of them in the queue just so they're not standing behind the deranged woman in GnR T shirt. Result!

I should try that one! People always try to bash me out of the way with their trolleys lol, maybe because i'm only young, they think they can beat me in a trolley war. But, unfortunately for them, i have quite strong upper arms hehehehehe

Tee Hee - my nephew has Tourette's and I sometimes will imitate him. So there we are, him a 20 year old bodybuilder and me a Neanderthal mama in a supermarket queue ticcing away - who do you think is gonna come anywhere near us ??? It works every time Good thing I have no ego..
Wilma

You're going to need a club soon

1. Do your teddies talk to you at night?
They used to, now they're just sulking

2. Whenever you go into a field of sheep, do you feel the need to hug them, squeeze them, and call them George?
Yep

3. Is your blankey out to get you?
Yes. He denied it of course, but I have my ways...

4. Do you believe that Bill Gates is an alien from outer space and has brainwashed everyone into believing his products are actually good?
Go Linux! Wooh! Now that's an alien I can believe in!

5. Have you ever seen a giant floating banana?
Yes, they like to dance with the apples and pears

6. Do you enjoy playing with firearms? And if you’ve never used one, do you enjoy playing with imaginary firearms?
It is quite , I just got a new Kalashnikov

7. Do you believe squirrels will overthrow power and rule the world?
Can we stop them?

8. Have you ever thought pea soup was something you did in the bathroom?
Yes. Tasted horrible though.

9. Have you ever put your underwear over your pants?
Like now?

And finally…

10. Do you believe you’re sane?
Obviously not, only an insane person would believe they were insane

Insane people think they're getting saner

I think it's safe to say you are officially insane as well

So that's a contradiction. Good start

Insanity Test

1. Do your teddies talk to you at night?
They're really quite quiet and often resort to interpretive dance instead.

2. Whenever you go into a field of sheep, do you feel the need to hug them, squeeze them, and call them George?
No. But my best friend is a sheep. Which sort of hurt my other friends feelings when I told her that I wanted to go to her house to see my best friend and she thought I was talking about her.

3. Is your blankey out to get you?
Yes. Right now it's gone out to get me some ice-cream... it sure is taking a while

4. Do you believe that Bill Gates is an alien from outer space and has brainwashed everyone into believing his products are actually good?
No. I have seen no proof that Bill Gates exists.

5. Have you ever seen a giant floating banana?
Wouldn't you like to know?!

6. Do you enjoy playing with firearms? And if you’ve never used one, do you enjoy playing with imaginary firearms?
Who doesn't? I also like playing with fire- I mean, nothing...

7. Do you believe squirrels will overthrow power and rule the world?
I have heard that, yes.

8. Have you ever thought pea soup was something you did in the bathroom?
Isn't it?

9. Have you ever put your underwear over your pants?
No. But I did almost forget to wear a shirt once...

And finally…

10. Do you believe you’re sane?
Do I look crazy to you?!?

Bonkers day today... I heard on the raio someone said Christmas was too Christmassy and therefore offensive to those of other faiths... Whaaa? Christmas is too commercialised and offensive to those of Christian faith, more like!!

What is the world coming to smiley, please!!

Wilma

as a great friend once said " a *d* please, Carol"

*d*

that'll be a "RADIO" then, thank you!

FF... you're insane! Yay!

for everyone!

I'm not insane, I'm "original"

1. Teddy bears
2. no
3. whats that noise
4. get off my leg,
5. who said that
6.
7.
8. answer the phone someone please
9. blue yellow red lights in my eyes, switch off the microwave and get out
10. what was the question

You confused the hell outta me but I can safely say you're insane! Yay!

ten members... hurrah!

We need a *proper* clubhouse, with a for <vodka&vimto>

The squirrels are still at large and I've not recieved my ransom note yet!

Insanity Test

1. Do your teddies talk to you at night?
Well not any more since i bsanished them for keeping me awake.

2. Whenever you go into a field of sheep, do you feel the need to hug them, squeeze them, and call them George?
Only if they are actually called George. Most f them are known as Sabrina.

3. Is your blankey out to get you?
Yes, it has made numerous attempts on my life.

4. Do you believe that Bill Gates is an alien from outer space and has brainwashed everyone into believing his products are actually good?
No, he is an qalien from inner space aand therfore much more dangerous.

5. Have you ever seen a giant floating banana?
Many times.

6. Do you enjoy playing with firearms? And if you’ve never used one, do you enjoy playing with imaginary firearms?
Don't most people? *shoots imaginary gun*

7. Do you believe squirrels will overthrow power and rule the world?
Yes! One day the rats will yank those feather dusaters out of teir a$$es!

8. Have you ever thought pea soup was something you did in the bathroom?
You mean it isn't?

9. Have you ever put your underwear over your pants?
Who hasn't?

And finally…

10. Do you believe you’re sane?
Yes.

We need a *proper* clubhouse, with a --- for <vodka&vimto>

Fill in the space with the appropriate word

*bangs head on floor as she tries to get up*

Oh the humiliation of not being able to read properly!!!!