h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Swallowing chewing gum will block up your intestines
Swallowing seeds (in particular apple seeds) will lead to a tree growing in your stomach
Water is the best drink, the Queen drinks water (I was a republican even then and it didn't inspire me)
If you pull faces the wind will change and you'll be stuck like it
You can make wishes on dandelion seeds because they are really fairies
Eating too many satsumas will make your blood turn to vinegar
Children Homes exist that take naughty children (like you) rather than orphans
The birthday cake you were given at your friends party was intended for your mum not you
Trolls live under every single bridge
Watching too much TV will give you square eyes

If you get chewing gum on your face, you'll need to go to hospital to get it removed, and it will hurt a lot. Didn't they realise the buzz, the danger of it all? They made it more fun, the fools.

Swallowing blackberry seeds will give you appendicitis.
If you see a chair rocking with no one in it you'll die.
You can lose weight by drinking diet coke.

When you get the shivers, a goose is walking over where your grave will be.

Life is fair and good.
pedboy

Undisputably the most wicked lie of all.

But of course:

It'll be okay in the end

and

One day you'll find a girl who'll adore you

I was told that kissing the girls made your teeth drop out, chewing gum, if swallowed would stick to the ribs and if you got bubblegum on your face your Mother would have to scrub it off with a scouring pad. But the last one turned out to be true.

How about "in a democracy the people are in control."
It must be true if it's in the newspaper.
You have to do what your doctor tells you.
You can get pregnant from sitting directly on the seat in a public restroom.
If you start a book, you're obligated to finish it.
Picking up a toad will give you warts.
Dogs get worms from eating candy.

Oh, and if you go near that kid, you'll get fleas. I wasn't told that, but lots of kids who knew me were

We were told:

- if you swallowed chewing gum it would stick on your heart

- if you ate your crusts your hair would curl

Does anyone know what actually happens if you swallow chewing gum? I'm still to afraid to try it.

One of the weirdest things I was told as a child, was if you cut the tendon type thing you get when you make your thumb and forefinger into an L shape, you would get lock jaw.

MY own son has just got to that inquisitive stage, where he has to ask a million questions a minute to stay occupied. I can understand why some parents tell 'little white lies' just to avoid getting into deep meaningful conversations with their two year olds.
'cos it's embarrassing when they have better arguments than you

The other reason we tell children lies is to stop them doing things society thinks are gross, but chilren think are more than acceptable. (like picking noses, pulling faces or repeating what daddy called grandma)

Honesty is the best policy though.

I had really long hair, and sometimes brushing it could be agony. My mum always said "you have to be hurt to be beautiful"
Also, on a completely different line I was always told if you (or the dog, or the cat, whatever) swallowed a fly, it would make you/them thin. Never risked trying it, though!

Swallowing chewing gum. This conjeres up a very funny Saturday morning when I was a student, sharing a house with three other friends.

Firstly, though, chewing gum generally passes through the digestive system without changing much and without bother.

HOWEVER...... Rod, a house mate, who chewed gum constantly, swallowed it when he felt like starting a new stick. But he had been out on the beer and curry on the Friday night before and was in the toilet with a violent attack of the runs! There was an anguish howl from the bathroom and on investigation Rod informed us that something had stuck to the hairs around his anus. It was, of course, the previous days' gum.

Normally passing through on a dialy basis within a pleasantly passed turd there was nothing this morning to protect those delicate hairs from the clinging grasp of the gum. Using paper only made things worse! Scissors, a craft knife and finally a razor blade were passed to the unfortunate Rod whose predicament got worse and worse. A bout of vomiting in the middle of all this did not help!

To cut a long story short (as opposed to hairs!), he narrowly avoided castrating himself but was in some discomfort for some days after.

There is a moral here somewhere!

(Rod T of Plymouth Poly. Get back in contact if you read this. I would love to find out what yoy have done since graduation.)

That's a good enough reason for me never to swallow any chewing gum! Poor bloke!

I you don't stop ******* that thing, you will go blind!!!
(I heard this was said to my mates...)
pedboy, who wears thick glasses.

And...
Boys / men want to marry virgins...

And...
If you don't wash behind your ears cauliflowers will grow there.
If you pick your belly button it will come undone and your stomach will fall out.
If you pick your nose your head will cave in

And...
Eating cheese before you sleep gives you nightmares