h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well the Title says it all realy

On my way to work there is a lovely section of road going through Epping Forest. It's all twisty and nicely tarmacked, there is a lovely
left hand bend with an adverse camber and a four to five foot drop in the middle (called Dead Mans Curve locally).
I love it . It has taken me a while but I've nearly mastered it,I haven't quite scraped the pegs going round it yet but I'm getting there.

The only problem is that there is a bl33dy manhole right in the middle of the bend , in fact the road is littered with them. They are all on the same side of the road so going home is easier.

Now, I know this road fairly well but when I first used it I went for a slide on one of the covers because even on fine dry mornings they tend to be wet (tree cover I suppose).
I was lucky I didn't lose it.
Every one of them are placed smack in the middle of one side of the carriageway and nearly all of them are located on bends.

It's as if some burk in the planning office has looked at the road and thought "now where can we put these things where they can be the most dangerous".
One day I'm going to come down the road to find an out of towner with his head stuck in a tree and his bike stuck up his 4rs£.
I haven't seen one yet but have seen a few cars in the trees


The point to this posting is WHY

I think the road planning bods are all "anti fun" and put them there on purpose just to spoil it for the rest of us.

It certainly wakes me up in the mornings Knowing that I've got to dodge them.

Because they like it there!

It is actually something you should/could write to the relevant authorities about. It is extremely unlikely that they will move it, but they may consider it in future works.

As for why, I think you will find it is because 2 wheelers, especially powered two wheelers, get hardly any mention in local govt planning stages, or so i have found. If you want to check, go to your local library or wherever and ask for the local authority traffic planning minutes. i did and found about 2 entries which covered how far journeys by vehicles were including PTWs. Nothing about the congestion, environment and so forth, not even negative.
SO to my mind they are put in the middle of the road so they are 'out of the way'. Because as far as the govt. is concerned, you only need to worry about 4 wheelers on the road, and they don;t travel down the centre of the lane.

Same goes for raised/recessed ironworks in the road. Half way round a bend to find a 1 inch drop int he road surface with a slippery manhole cover in it. Such fun!

What next? Straight roads, one way traffic, no cars on the road between dawn and dusk? Just how easy do you want it?


The art of riding is in spotting and dealing with everything that the grey suits throw at us and survive it all in spite of them.


Ok, so perhaps that's stretching it a bit. 2 wheels should have been considered when planning was done. I bet we all have local roads with the same problem.


If any of our US citizens are tuned in I'll bet they have tales of local Gov't being sued for contributing to accidents. Whilst I hate the 'sue it if it moves' philosophy of the states, this is the type of example where it might actually do some good.


What would be the effect if we were to remove all such manholes? I'll bet something would be done pretty damned smart!! A few cars/lorries down the hole would get noticed. The popular beleif is any bike accident is probably down to the speed and riding style of the rider. Don't beleive me? Never had the 'you had your lights on so you must have been going fast' comment? The 'all bikers are nutters' statement?

Lets face it, bikers don't have jobs, families, homes, pets, aversion to pain (wallet and body) so why should we be careful.

Use May 5th to turn the tide. Find out where your councilors and MPs stand and vote pro bike regardless of party.

If we gain the right to shoot hoolies, myopic car drivers, planners and lower taxes, who cares about the rest? They all shut schools and hospitals, lie and cheat, so let's get something out of them for once.

The art of riding is in spotting and dealing with everything that the grey suits throw at us and survive it all in spite of them.


I do agree with most of this statement as it is down to you as a rider to look out for your own skin, but it just seems plain silly to put these things in the middle of the road.
Not only are they a danger to bikers they are also a danger to workmen(P/C workpersons) who have to work on them. I know that they should have adequate protection but we all know how blind car drivers can be.

On top of this every time they open one up they have to close one side of the road causing congestion.

It's a strange sad fact that they put manholes in the middle of the road but hydrants are put on the pavement right where some burk who hasn't a clue can park on it.


If we gain the right to shoot hoolies, myopic car drivers, planners and lower taxes, who cares about the rest? They all shut schools and hospitals, lie and cheat, so let's get something out of them for once.

They lie and cheat you say, as they have lied and cheated the biking community in the past. So who do you trust?

I think I am being thick here, but what's a hoolie? Short for hooligan perhaps?

lol I had the same question...

We call hooligans in cars "hoons" for some reason.

If we can't have a maybe we can have one of these?

My earlier post was a little tongue in cheek. I can't beleive that maholes etc aren't situated on pavements or at the side of the road. Surely local planners face the same problems? And roadworkers unions must see the sense in keeping their members (leave it BadZen, leave it) out of the centre of the road. I used to know someone who did that kind of stuff on the motorways, where they use a crash cushion (a big lorry with a giant airbag and six foot lights with direction arrows) and idiots ran in to the back of those lorries too!

I can understand the arguement that cost might prevent them relocating existing pipework but the still put manholes in the middle of the road on brand new estates where they had the opportunity not to.

And Hoolie is hooligan. Naughty Outrider and his slang. You try working with scousers (liverpool folk) for 25 years and not speaking slang.

I had a bit of a front-wheel slide on a manhole cover just the other day ...raining...better half on the back...on a corner...so I can relate.

Why can't they be on the pavement - why put them in the roadway at all? Not likely some pedestrian is going to be taking a corner at a good rate of knots (even a legal rate of knots) and slip sideways...hmmm, then again...right, the answer is obviously that they need to think about what they are covering the manholes with, more than the location of them...then we wouldn't have to worry about members flopping about in the middle of the road...

erm...road worker union members, or MHMC members, of course, Outrider, no double entendres (is that how you spell it?) from me, no, not at all, never, not that kind of guy, nup...

Covering manhole covers with a grippy substance would only cure part of the problem.
Not only are they slippery when wet (no puns please),but the road always seems to be broken up around them.
There are also the ones that are either raised above the road surface or sunk well below the road surface.
Either way you end up doing a handstand on your bars.
And the two lumps in your throat aren't your heart and stomach cause when it happens your stomach drops your heart leaps but is over taken by your crushed gonads.

Send em to the isle of man. The TT circuit is a good example of what can be done.

I think one reason for the broken up roads is that they never seem to bother seating the manholes properly. They nearly always seem to be raised or lowered. There is, I believe, a supposed limit to how far the cover can be recessed (I think it is around 1") but no one knows about it so the councils get away with not bothering.
The reason this causes an even bigger problem is that you then get HGVs ddriving over it and the attendant effect of many tons at 30mph+ hammering down on the cover and then coming up sharply against the raised road at the edge, thereby damaging the road surface.

For me this is even more annoying as I live by a main road witrh several accessz covers like this and a steady stream of HGVs. I'm a good 200yds+ from the road yet it still makes my house shake every time an HGV goes down the road.

So it's down to this.
To save a little thought in the planning stages (for it can't be any cheaper) sewers and other such things are laid under the middle of the road rather than beside it under the pavement.
Because of this manholes (access points if you prefer) are put in the middle of the road where bloody great lorries can dammage both them and the road.
Because of this you are then left with an expensive repair cost that naver goes away, a danger to other road users and a liability to the local authority.
I know I'm stating the obvious here but I just wanted to see the thing written down.
The lack of economic sense in this statement beggars belief.

On a slightly different note.
I have noticed that when they are laying a new road surface on a motorway the tatmac is laid down in more than one layer and ends up in some areas quite thick.
There is no strengthening material in between these layers so after a while you get these not so lovely deep wheel ruts caused by heavy lorries.
This doesn't seem to be a problem for bikers (or car drivers) but I drive a three ton van for a living and there are places on the M25 where I can't use the inside lane as I get thrown from one rut to the other.
So spare a thought for the van driver in the middle lane when the inside one is empty as it's not always bad lane discipline.

'So spare a thought for the van driver '???!!!

Not if it's white! Just wait til I get my exocets fitted, then I might think about vans

know what you mean about "white van man"
but we're not all idiots


Well maybe I'd better rephrase that
I know one or two that aren't idiots

Like bikes, they stand out from the crowd. One out of order means all must be the same.

Unlike bikes, they are usually works vans. 'Drive it like you stole it'!

i ride a moped, and have done so on a fairly regular basis since the age of 16 and 3 days. the little manholes aren't the worst of it: you stand half a chance of avoiding most of them, its the places (i've met one, can't remember where) at traffic lights where more than half the road is metal grids. you simply can't accelerate in the wet. one of my friends has given up because he used that road every day and the bus can handle it.

ever tried cattle grids? etc.

Been there!

Strange town in France. 400 Four. St Luke smiling (Png down). Spotted a gully covered by metal plates across the junction. Just about to turn then remembered WRONG SIDE OF ROAD! Adjusted too fast. Slid sideways into junction (still upright). Crowb of Motards gave me a round of applause and dragged me into the bar! folk!