h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

explain ordanary things in a funny way and give new discribee!

example:
encyclopedia
a book with lots of page with filled words for people who want to become even more smart.


your thingy to discribee!
spoon

A very small miss-shaped bowl on the end of a stick. There are many varients ranging from the minescule 'tea spoon' to the 'ladel', but the general purpose is to transfer slightly runny food items from one destination to another, though they do have a second use as items to stir liquid with.

So what's the next one then?

was I meant to give one?


Fridge

Large, airtight insulated box equipped for the preservation of foodstuffs, medical supplies or the departed at temperatures ranging from those usually associated with the polar ice cap at the most, and British winter weather at the least.


Thimble

No takers?

Small metal object designed to reduce accounts of needle death by stopping a needle entering your body through your finger, travelling up your arm, into your brain and causing instant death.

Also good for impersonating five- legges horses (with the aid of an average human hand and an appropriate number of thimbles).

Please forgive my paraphrased demi-plagiarism.

TK

Next?

Ooh, sorry...

erm...

Blu-tak

TK

A Light blue putty like substance for fashioning small penises out of and then sticking them on the wall.

An alternative use is putting small pads on the corner of posters and then sticking them to walls.



Bassman

Next word - Armchair



Bassman

Three-sided embracing device, with the fourth side left open for entrapment of victim. Prey is various. "I just want to watch the news..." and five hours later the victim is still encased, mesmerised by the TV and held by the armchair. "Can you help me up, dear, I seem to be stuck...." elderly occupant who has found the whole thing too low and too deep to extricate themselves from. Has a contageous disease called


Breadstick

Item of foodstuff which is probably a stick but is definitely not bread. Used at social gatherings to transfer saliva from individual guests into bowls of bacteria enhancing material, commonly called "dips".


Telephone

A sometimes mobile, sometimes not, device which can be used for conversing with people you would normally try to avoid. Caution: May carry dangerous diseases if dirty! Known to wipe out entire planets!



Next: pillow

Fluffy, feather filled bag used for resting head on while sleeping or for hitting oponent around the head with while engaging in a "pillow" fight.
Synthetic versions available but normally too hard for sleeping on but not heavy enough for delivering serious head damage when fighting!


Bicycle

Two circular pieces of rubber, usually attached to each other by metal tubing. Includes standard uncomfortable thin slice of foam for sitting, steering and braking devices, and metal teeth for catching pant legs in. Useful for ecologically sound transportation, recommended by 4 out of 5 heart doctors.


Next: board game

Involves dice/little plastic icons (cars, counters, pieces of lead piping) which it is compulsory to lose after the first airing, necessitating replacement by bottle caps, paper clips, or the latest baby tooth to divorce itself from its 5-year old owner/a flat board, illustrated with various coloured squares, buildings, rooms, ladders, snakes, etc. and an unquenchable desire to get into an arguement about cheating within the first two throws of the dice. Actually getting to the end of a game deserves a medal even if you lose hands down.


Bandage

The collective age of a Rock Band
typ:The Rolling Stones(242 ?)

Next word, pdante', please

Philosopher