h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Imagine you are a cat-burglar, during the reign of King Frederick William 3rd (of where - for points) You specialise in stealing from the aristocracy. It's dark inside the mansions you visit at night. You must not use a light for fear of rousing the maids and servants. You can't see barely anything in the gloom yet you manage to navigate you way to the where the jewellery is stored. You haven't the means to escape with all the jewellery without risking capture so you must be selective. It is your intention to steal the most valuable jewellery they possess and you must find it quickly.

You've brought along just the right tool for this job.

What is it in your satchel that will let you steal the most valuable jewellery in the collection, every time in near pitch-black conditions?



No googling or wikipedia allowed.

There are klaxons, naturally, so be bold, preferably interesting, but never obvious.

A kleptomaniac trained bat?

A piece of wool, for testing whether something is really amber without damaging it?

I'll take a stab at Austria-Hungary for the where. Though I think pretty much every country in Europe has been stuffed full of Kings William and Frederick at one time or another.

Or Prussia. Is he the one that fought Napoleon?

Mmh, the most valuable would probably be the lord of the manor's family jewels. Most likely any sharp tool would help you get these. In order not to wake up the valetry in the process, some sort of anaesthetic (a large hammer?) may be useful too.

You're making a habit of this, HD.

+3 Prussia is correct.

Not a piece of wool Mal.

sonar?

Clever but wrong.

Not anaesthetic or hammers - you are stealthy enough to avoid detection, you only risk discovery if you do something incredibly stupid. The real challenge is selecting the most sought after items from amongst the trinkets and heirlooms.

Not the bat then?

Something that can measure density? Gold, platinum and diamonds are all very dense.

It does have the slight drawback that you might end up with the densest thing in any room: Taff

>Something that can measure density<

oh deary me.

No flying mammals of any description.

If you were just going for diamonds, how about a piece of glass, maybe a hand mirror, that could be scratched by the diamonds? Not ideal because you'd have to use youch to tell if it was scratched.

*touch*. Though it could youch.

a container of vinegar

you put it all in the vigegar which dissolves the pearls leaving the other stones which are more valuable than pearls un touched

pearlsvinegar

Not a mirror.

Taff QI bonus +6 for pearls dissolving in vinegar. Very Interesting.

But that's not it.

A container of mixed nitric and hydrochloric acid. This will dissolve all the gold and platinum, and you'll be able to throw away the worthless stuff that's left, and....

I think that needs a bit more thought.

Though it does have to be a mix of the two acids - each one on its own doesn't work.