h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hello....welcome to my cabin.have a seat,help yourself to a or whatever you like to drink.
i love having visitors,and Cyril the cat often comes in for his and saucer of milk.
my cabin is lavishly furnished,with beautiful artifacts from around the world.it's filled wit beautiful
aromas from scented candles and incense,with a background of tranquil music.
if you go to the porthole at midday it can take you to any moment of time that you would like to go.
even into the future.but you can only use this porthole with my permission as my room is my private place
and you need to ask me for the key to my cabin door.
please visit me when you have the time.would love to meet you all.have fun!! chat soon,

'ning corndolly...

welcome aboard this mighty vessel

*helps self to *

i'm the ships trician, if anything needs fixing let me know.

you can find me in the generator room, although the way there tends to get clogged up with backlog sometimes.

mmm...nice coffee...

alec.

hiya...pleased to meet you.
well i may need your services later..my toaster is a little bit dodgy...Titania
accidently knocked her vodka into it!!
it's not been right since. anyway,trust i shall see you again soon.
till then,have fun!!x

oh boy!!!...have i got the toaster for you...

alec.

Ah ... the Internet Toaster .... only takes french bread, which can be a bit of a "pain".

hello ..i am experiencing problems accessing some parts of the site.also i can't always reply to mssgs.
i found out that because i am with NTL DIGITAL this is not 100% suitable to access.so please will you all bear with
me..i'm trying my best!!
thanx a lot..xx

ugh... the internet really is a horrible invention...

Hey Corndolly, Alec and Kes!

*pulling cart behind him*

for all!

hello again..well the problem i'm having now is i can't read all of the mssgs from people as half of
the mssgs are cut off at the left-hand side of my screen!!
i'm finding it hard to get the 'gist' of some mssgs..it's driving me loopy!!
ah well,i'll plod on regardless..coz i love the site and also the people i've
met so far!! have fun then...chat soon.xx
xxx

............................Is that any better ?
............................Can you hear me now corndolly?
............................*alec helps himself to some
............................ and starts looking around
............................for the CAT 5 cable that must be
............................somewhere in here.
............................alec.

Is that the blue cable with the RJ thingy on the end, or the blue cable with the RJ thingy on the end?

...you mean...


they're both there!!!

... isn't one s'posed to be input and the other out ???

does it matter if we get them bass ackwards???

alec.

('scuse us corndolly, we'll be finished here in a moment...
...you will love this toast)

*eyes toaster skeptically*


Meow?

*With deft use of a convenient teaspoon and a length of dental floss, Kes fits one of the blue RJ whatsit cables securely into the USB port on the toaster*

There! That should do it! Fire her up!

*Inserts two slices of wheatmeal, and takes cover behind the sofa*

*a mere six hours later, alec strolls in...*
*sees kes behind sofa*

*presses big red 'toast it now' button and takes cover also.

/\TALKIE TOASTER

alec.

Hi Alec ... I just thought! There are eight different ways you could insert a slice of bread into a toaster (not including "sideways"). It could take a while to debug this!

*Removes slices, puts one back in "upside down". Ducks for cover*

:: floats by on his flying carpet - covers ducks ::

</TALKIE TOASTER:

"If you would like some toast, please insert all your bread now"

"If you would like some marmalade on it, ...
...our office hours are between 0315 and 0327, monday through monday"

"If you want to know my opinion, press '1' ...just then "

"to repeat these options, press.......ffffzzzzzttt."

"thankyou for your cooperation...do not move"





alec.

:: moves on his flying carpet ::