h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey all you waiters! I'm expecting quite a few guests in the near future, so muck out this place pronto and prepare for a lot of eating, drinking, cavorting and merrymaking.

Maestro, let's have some music!

*Wanders in*
Ah! This looks like the place for a drink. A large pinkers please, and stop looking at me like that!

Having a good time, are you? You've got the place all to yourself I see - but that should change soon. So enjoy the peace and quite while it lasts

What's a large pinkers then? Something I might enjoy you think?

It's a couple of drops of aromatic bitters, swirled round in a glass, then poured out (leaving only a trace). Then pour as much neat gin as you fancy into the glass. The bitters give the gin an interesting taste, and a pink colour .... Here, try one Hehehe!

*downs * Hm, interesting. Now try this: *pours a and adds a double gin *

Thank you. Mmmm ... What's this drink called? It's cetainly making everything look pink .. I wonder if that's an eyeball fault? I'd better have an to dilute it all ...

Sure, why not: Yo, cabin boy: Pour us some and a couple of on the side!

*Drinks ; hangs on to bar*
I say! The ship seems to be rocking about a lot!

*the band plays an old Bob Marley tune*

Aye, we are off to Christmas Island - by special request.

No taxes! And plenty of crabmeat. Always wanted to celebrate X-mas there

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to investigate the Bösendorfer grand over by the stage ....
*Inspects. Yes ... it's the 9' model, with the extra keys in the bass ... walnut casing, heavy duty pins ...and ...(trying a few chords) nearly in tune*
I'll give it a try ... work my way up to some Louis stuff...
*Improvises a blues ....*

Let's try "Basin Street Blues", shall we? I'll try to sing it the way Dr. John does it

*Plays a broken B flat 7th chord, followed by and E flst chord. humming...*
Basin Street, Basin Street ... that's where all the black & the white folk meet ...

...in New Orleans, the land of dreams...

Gentlemen, if you come back from that dreamland would you tell me then, please, where on earth is this cabin boy? I'd like to have some Pina Colada with a lot of Captain Morgan.

~Walks in with two heavy looking record bags, and walks to the DJ-corner, where the turntables are, ready to play some music when the band stops playing~

*The music stops and the captain summons assorted cabin boys*

Take you pick, Gwennie! I'll have a Captain Morgans on the rocks while I listen to what Kheldar has to offer

*rises an eyebow*

It's your call captain...we're going to dance, or do you prefer easy listening, or maybe a combination of both?

*walks in*

Zarquon, I'm starving.

*stops one of the cabin boys carrying a platter of , takes one, and begins to wander around the Messroom whilst enjoying the savory .

noticing drumset on stage*

Hey, need a drummer?

I wonder if this is a self-service place. But I have seen cabin boys here.