h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A570971

I'm recommending this entry of mine, because it's as complete on the subject matter as it could possibly be without being extremely redundant on certain points, and because it covers the subject of the computer game Zork, a game that other editted guide entries only glance across from time to time. This entry contains info on the Zork games, books, the movie, the Zork community on the Internet, and pretty much every other piece of information that I could think of at the time.

The way you describe it, it sounds famous, but i'd never heard of zork before this entry.
A good start, but it's not long enough. I think you should flesh it out some more and include additional information.
It looks good enough to be included.

Affy, splendid stuff. Personally I have a bit of a problem with the extensive use of footnotes. Perhaps you could work some of the info they cover into the body of the article.

You may like to replace the double-spaced paragraphs with sub-headings.
This is a test

Afgncaap5,

The article is well laid out and you have obviously done your research very thoroughly, but I'm afraid that your title will be too literally true - this is probably more than most people will ever want to know. I'm speaking as someone who played and loved the original three Infocom Zork games, and went out and bought both Zork Nemesis and Zork Grand Inquisitor at full price when they came out first. If I find it too much, then I honestly think other people might give up on it. I know that editing down the length of an entry is an awful lot harder than adding bits in, but I think that in this case the effort would pay off with a more approachable entry.

Well, that was the hard thing to say! Otherwise, there are just two things that caught my eye. First, I think the Bishop's name in Zork Nemesis was Francois Malveaux, not Malveaux Francois. Secondly, I think it might help to give the dates for each game at the beginning of the description.

I hope I haven't been too discouraging - I think that the topic is a great idea and that you have covered it exhaustively, but that the entry would be better still if it was shorter.
Regards,
Azara

*eyes wide*

wow.

and i thought /I/ used a lot of footnotes.

all in all, i liked it. it was a lot of information, though. a bit mind-boggling to my un-zork-educated mind, but interesting. it helped me to understand some of your actions in OTHER forums...

Yeah, it's kind of hard to follow my progress in the community without a little knowledge of Zork.

Okay, cut down on the footnotes, use subheaders, and two conflicting requests to make it longer w/ more info, versus one request to put in less info (unless that first one was just sarcasm that I'm hopelessly missing).

I'll have to work on this one, obviously then. I'm not sure how I could cut it down, really, but I'm sure that a way exists. Maybe I could cut out the paragraph on Granola. The ironic thing is that when I submitted it, I remembereed about three or four other things that should've been in this entry.

Oh, and I just double checked my documentation for Zork Nemesis, and it is Francois Malveaux, not Malveaux Francois. My confidence as a Zork zealot has been shattered.

Actually, I don't see what people mean about it being "too long". The whole point of the Guide is to have a definitive guide to every subject on Earth, right? Well, while it could definitely be a tad shorter, I think that, for archival purposes, it would work, right?

Or am I just embarrasing myself?

I will admit that I think usage of the Subheader tags wouldn't be too bad, and that the footnotes are a tad excessive. Not just normally excessive, but Flathead excessive. Right? The Flatheads are the excessive ones, right?

Yes, yes the Flatheads were the excessive ones, MSTie. BTW, long time, no see. Why'd you stop coming?

Anyway, I think I'll look into ways of getting rid of some info anyway. If nothing else, I might make it look more organized.

Hi, MSTie!

You were asking why I or other people felt the entry was too long. I think this was a sensible question (you're not embarassing yourself in the least ). Maybe the difference betwen your attitude and mine is that you think of the Guide becoming the definitive guide to every subject, but I feel it's more important for it to be an entertaining guide to every subject.

I think my attitude is coloured by the fact that most of the entries I have tried so far have been on fairly wide subjects - with the history of opera, for example, people have written theses and textbooks on just tiny aspects of this, so one entry in the guide is never going to be definitive. So I am more likely to start writing a very long entry and then ask myself "what can I leave out?"

With my own work, I would always opt for a shorter entry that more people would read rather than for an exhaustive entry that might get skipped. But this is Afgncaap's entry under discussion, and it's his or her decision. So Afgncaap, if you feel that it's important to cover everything, and want to keep the present length, that's fine - just because someone makes a point in Peer Review doesn't mean you have to give way on it.
Azara

Oh, of course I don't! But I'm sure everyone will appreciate the irony of me just reading this last post just a few moments after I just spent a few hours going over the entry several times, and trying to figure out something that I could leave out.

On the plus side, I've managed to chop my footnotes down to only nineteen. Oh, and it looks much more organized, ever since I started tinkering with the Subheaders. And I corrected every single mention of Bishop Malveaux Francois to read Bishop Francois Malveaux, as I have been mistaken about his name for the past....since however long it was since that game came out.

I think it's a better entry now, and what I decided to leave out will be added in *After* approval. After all, there's no limit to the amount of space in the conversation forums....heeheehee....

Affy, what's happened? I clicked on your article and all I found was this...

Guide Entry Hidden

This Guide Entry has been hidden, because it contravenes our House Rules in some way. However, the author can easily re-write it so that it doesn't break the rules, so let's hope they do just that.

You can find out more about moderation on h2g2 here.

Okay, here's what I think happened: there was a link to a Zork-based website on that entry. I noticed that a moderator had put the phrase "broken link" by the entry, so I checked it out. I was surprised to find that it was not broken, so I removed the "broken link" message. That must've been it, because when I went to refresh the page, the "broken link" message was back. So, they must believe the link to be broken, even though it isn't.

Affy, splendid news. Your opus, all 400,000 words of it, has been recommended for inclusion in the Edited Guide. It will now be sent to a sub editor for a bit of final polishing. Eventually it will appear on the front page of h2g2. When this occurs you will be sent an email informing you of the happy event.

Well done,
Loony

Congratulations!
But first make it longer.

Congratulations, Affy!

I prefer the improved version with less footnotes. One tiny thing - I would suggest that you describe Sophia Hamilton (in Zork Nemesis) as living in a conservatory of music - just living in 'a conservatory' may suggest a little suburban greenhouse room rather than the magnificence of the 'real' structure.

Have some and celebrate!
Azara

Nah, I don't think a bubbly is the kind of thing to drink to celebrate here. How about some phlog? Or some Antharian Ale? Or maybe even Mead Light, popularized in ZGI?

Anyway, yeah, I think I'll just add the phrase "of music", thanks for the tip. And now, off to celebrate!

wow, after only a week?! *jealous*

*Offers Mead Light to Sea as a peace offering*

Editorial Note: This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review forum because this entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

If they have not been along already, the Scout who recommended your entry will post here soon, to let you know what happens next. Meanwhile you can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!

Yee-Ha!

*Downs dome phlog*