h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My could make mincemeat of all of them!

Not *all* of them...

According to our Great Leader Clive the Flying Ostrich's explanation of the Armoury, there should be an infinite number of small vicious furry animals hiding in the cupboards.
*flings open a small cabinet containing an infinite number of Thingite footsoldiers and orders them to defend everyone against the infinite vicious furry animals*
Now which cabinet had the infinite supply of sporks?


(There's probably a less violent way of solving this problem, since there has to be a Small Vicious Furry Animal Proof Forcefield somewhere in here, but it could be awfully hard to find...)

Indeed... and according to Clive's little quantum theory the titanium spork I am currently wielding could metamorphasise at any moment into a rampantly psychotic squirrel! AARGH!!

Or perhaps even a carniverous coconut!!!



AAAAAHHH!!!!

thats why i crystal plated mine, it cant change mow
oh and did he warn u about the 's in the loweer levels and the R&D lackeys who have seemed to calm down in their rebellion.... though i wonder if it was that mimi nuke i made that fixed that? or PS's last weapon which i can't remember?????
anyway i can crystal plate sporks for anyone and make them any weapon they wish to have with my wongs being made of crystal that regrows as soon as i lose a feather

Sparkly.

Its reassuring to know that your spork won't miraculously change into a purple, man-eating tortoise with wings... so I guess that this trusty article will need crystal plating! Although methinks it'd be grand if it instantly became a sparky chappy who would worship everything about me from my toenails to my bizarreness to my love of mathematics and cheese! ...Which according to Clive is probable despite being almost infinitely improbable - its reassuring when sporks look like sporks! What weapons do preachers need? Methinks you can do enough damage with a well aimed spork!

cya

*Kate*

::hands Vroomfindel a regulation titanium ::

Hey UB ... if you hang around the Thingite threads, you might just find yourself one of those sparky chappies who will worship everything about you from your toenails to your bizarreness to your love of mathematics and cheese! Stranger things have happened...

You're a Spork!

I like to call a spork a spork you know...

mine's a crystal

I have all kinds of s... building up quite a collection!

Do you still have the 15,000 commemorative s from the 15000th thread Lady S?

Incidentally, I've just realised that the retro-neolithic club with ironesque spike that I wielded so prominently when I first got here, is quantumised ... if I press this button look what happens ...

*closes eyes, presses button and hopes*

A bowl of freshly buttered asparagus ... gosh how useful ...

Yum! Asparagus!

The 15,000 commemorative sporks engraved with the 15,000th post?

I used to have them... I was running a sale on them because they make such lovely Christmas gifts... do you need a few dozen for everyone on your list?

asparagus

If we eat the asparagus, does Ekki lose his club ... or does the asparagus turn back into the club when it bumps up against an intestine while it's inside us? I'd really like to know these things before dinner ...

Yum... I do like asparagus...

My favorite way is baked with a topping of bread crumbs, onion, celery, and cheese, with a little bit of oregano....

Oooh! Are we starting an asparagus club then?

*pukes in a corner*

The asparagus is really only a trick played on the mind ... you can eat the asparagus/banana custard/troupe of cossak dancers, feel nutritionally satisfied but upon re-transmogrification the club will be as it always was ... it's an incredibly high tech if unpredictable piece of kit ...

*loves asparagus but doesn't like the after effects ...*

Can someone call a janitor ... angelcon's just shot a cat ...