h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello chaps

What is nice about Mr Berto is that there are levels of pretension to his books...

Level 1 = film tie-in edition of Name of the Rose with Sean Connery on the front, lightly stained by the butter drips from crumpets

Level 2 = Other Umberto Eco novels. May have eager annotations on: 'Eliot, passim' 'I like cheese'

Level 3 = Umberto Eco popular non-fiction, Travels in Hyperreality or that one about the fish.

Level 4 = Umberto Eco non-popular non-fiction (proper hardcore lit crit) such as Limits of Interpretation: OR copy of Name of the Rose in Italian (for non-Italian speakers) with dedication inside by William Weaver.

Oh yes, and it is an observable fact that Iain Banks is pretentious. Consider Phlebas? Mine's a pint of mild please.

talking about hasbeen rock bands will not earn you pretentious points.

wide

Consider Phlebas? is by Iain M Banks, Iain Bank's sci-fi alter ego. The page on being pretentious specifically said "Iain Banks - without the M" Everyone knows Iain M Banks books are pretentious. But Complicity and The Wasp Factory. Mines a vodka martini (only accepting Smirnoff Black label and Martini Rosso with two drips of absinth and a lotus petal floating on the top for exactly 12.5 seconds.)

You can make a very pretentious dry manhattan by adding a dash of rosewater. But they are a) yummy, b) served in the right shaped glass, and c) extremely strong. Sometimes it is so hard not to model oneself on American Psycho.

Hello,

As long as you don't have nicer business cards than me, you're safe.

Yours,
Jake

Albert Camus famously played in goal (a real thinker's position) for Marseille (really - not Boca Juniors you dolt!).

He probably started the French footballing existential philosophy tradition - see Cantona et al.

Isn't Umberto Eco Professor of Semantics at Bologna Uni - How pretensious is that?

Umberto Eco is prof of Semiotics at Bologna. It's sort of logical really, given that he began his career as a medievalist. It makes no sense to say he is pretentious on account of him being a worldclass academic.

Ah yes, you are right, existentialism is a technical term meaning incomprehensible and French. I prefer Christopher Lambert in Subway.

Fetch me my Ording and Reda retractible pencil, I'm going to stab myself in the eyeball due to not having any beer for 2 months.