h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear Author,

Your article is filled with awesome tips on pretentious-Dom. As one who perpetually makes every effort to reach ostentatious grandiose consummation of just such a reputation, I find many of your ideas worth giving a go. I particularly found this little nugget:

'Rancid yak's butter is still pretty rare outside Tibet, so if you can get your hands on that you're laughing all the way to the top of the Pretentious leader board. Use it in unsweetened black tea with a strange name. Yum.'

to be of tremendous potential. I have resolved to enthusiastically use it at the next pretentious juncture, affair, predicament or quandary I ascertain yours truly to be in. Be it an art exhibit, a book signing, a WiFi coffee shop, or any of a thousand pretentious wondrous calamities that occur weekly.

Thanks for the awe-inspiring, stupendous, peachy advice! It shall not go without unrestricted authority over my daily attempts at pretentious blather.

sincerely,

thepretentiousposer