h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

uh-hummm yes intimate that's it! This is not music for entertaining a crowd, it's very personal - subjective, introspective. She's taken the best of Waits 'personal poetry' and is reciting it from her own personal viewpoint. When it strikes a personal chord in the private listener (ie: I don't wanna grow up) it comes alive.

I am inclined to favour music with good lyrics (not that I don't enjoy music that is just music - symphonic, orchestral, rock, folk, in fact all sorts if played well) - but I like to 'listen' to more poetic lyricists, people who love the sound of words and the logic of phrasing - Leneord Cohen, Dylan, Waits, Hendrix, Gershwin's brother, Hank Snow, John Lennon, most of old 'blues' masters - and I always enjoy a 'cover' version if it respects and understands the lyric intent or better yet - usurpes it.

I say fellow conspirators. There's a note here, appeared as if by magic. It reads

"Reasons I am secretly planning to blow up the BOFInn:-

1) Because I can
2) Because no substantial buildings on h2g2 have been blown up recently
3) Because it gives me something to do
4) Because the bang might make people jump
5) Because it is little frequented any more and its time we used the land for something else. Like building a castle, or something. (So I can rescue damsels in distress)
6) Because a mysterious hole to the centre of the earth has appeared in the cellar and appears to be getting larger, and if I blow up the building, then the rubble will fill the hole, the village and the rest of h2g2 will be saved and I will be a hero!"

Wow, thats what I call bad behaviour. I wish I had thought of that!

I say, running something like this without discussing it with the committee first. Well ... well ... that's just plain rude! I have a mind to write to someone about this!

It's downright subversive.

OI! What's this? I'm finding bits of paper everywhere with threats to bomb us out. Some sort of religious nutter by the look of it. Has one of you been performing abortions here or something? Well, we better take it seriously. Definitely calls for a Committee meeting.

*Gawd ..and we just put in a new library, bowling green, portakabin...
makes one feel very insecure in a madmadmad world to think anyone would blow us up - we could end up in an 'elderhostel' gumming our biscuits*

Okay. Pheroneous - just for that, I'm going to spill your pint.

*smash*

Whaddya gonna do about that then, eh? Eh?

*Note to others: it's a diversionary tactic. While I've got his attention, you can sneak up and grab him*

Language is like a shark some wit has said. It needs to keep moving or it will suffocate. Life is change said the Jefferson Airplane.

No doubt the 'changes' we have all gone through in the last few months
(for those on memory inhibiting medications I'll list just a couple) - the great closedown of Jan 26 - six weeks in the wilderness of Yahoo - a return to new terms and conditions that killed off some members - the recent loss of our godhead - all these may have dampened our enthusiam.
But surely, even as 9 out of 10 names on the BOF INN main page seem to have 'drifted off', there will always be a need for a place for BOFs.
I move that this Committee seek out the perpetrator who threatens to blow us up and bribe him heavily.
We'll need a Heritage Committee now too, to preserve what has been.
And we'll need to post a guard in case the bomber comes while we're dozing in the Snug, or the Cellar, or the Library or...zzz..ZZZ..zzz

Oh, would you look what you've done now! I WAS trying to write a letter to my MP, but you've gone and spilled his pint all over it. I don't suppose there is much point in me writing until after the election as I may not have the same MP (refrains from a personal, but possibly rule breaking comment) in a months time. Ah well, think I'll amble down to the cellar to see what all the fuss is.

It's always worth writing to your MP. Even if you get a new one, they'll still process your letter in the same way. Therefore it'll be recycled via the Westminster Sewage Works. Shouldn't you write it now and do your bit for the environment?

Anyway, that Pheroneous - what a wuss. Spilt his pint yesterday and still no sign of retaliation.

I've had a wire from Wumbeevil, who as you know is out of the country on 'government business' until after all the ballots are counted, and he says the only fitting way to demolish the BOF is death by rising damp. Damn waste of good munitions, he says. Not to mention the mushroom crop.
If he had put that in the form of a motion I'd second it. What the heck, I'll second it anyway!

You are right, Spiny. No sign of revenge. No retribution at hand. No chance at all that it will be your body alone to be pulled from the ruins a crumpled corpse, everyone else having escaped hours beforehand. Not the slightest theory that the exploding BOFInn may have been totally conceived as a final emphatic reply to you and your carelessness! Only guessing, of course. I know nothing at all of the matter, still less of what may be running through the blackguard's head.

So Pheroneous I hear you're building castles in the air again. I should have taken that link to Camelot when I first saw it instead of chasing you round every room in the INN to ask you again. Now I can't remember where it was.. the Cellar hole conversation had risen with the damp up to the canopies ..and there was a lighthouse blinking nearby ..oh don't fret I'll find it ..just as soon as I figure out where I am now and if I can get there from here, wherever here is.

Wow! What's JWF smokin'?

Hey Pheroneous, you cannot crumple my body any more than it already is. I look like I've been in a laundry basket for a year. Plus, since I'm a hedgehog, I am immune from all attack. I simply roll myself into a ball and...

*Spiny! Watch out for that car!*

Jeez! That was close! That was did for my Uncle Herbert.

Flaunting your prickles again, Spiny? Such vanity. And are not the highways and byways of this land littered with the corpses of your cousins? Busy, no doubt, convincing themselves of their invincibility.

No, just not quick enough off the kerb...

*The Munchkin coughs loudly to wake people up, produces a set of small cards from his grubby pocket and hands them round and then runs before retribution can be arranged. They read;
"You are cordially invited to a small, yet perfectly formed celebration this Tuesday (10th July) in the Snug. Here Munchkin will return in triumph from his graduation to be smug and wave his certificate about in an annoying manner. An arrangement has been made with the local "home brewer" and the special, non-blinding, stuff should be available. Hope to see you there."