h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Woe and all that.

I'm out of money. I lie awake at dawn, brooding. Which makes me tired and even more sad. But not richer.

I've run out of the salary I got a week ago - bills, and birthday shopping for the kids. And with the lawyers bill, I'm deep into the allowed credit, paying interest. Borrowed money.

I should stop panicking, I will sell off my shares to pay the debt, but it's not instant... perhaps I should even lower the set price and hope it goes faster.

It scares me. I've never used my credit like this before, and I don't like it.

I grew up in a home where income appeared twice a year, maybe. (My dad was an artist painter and the sales' exhibitions were spring and autumn). My mom did odd jobs and sewed at home for companies and people to supplement.

We kids never thought we missed anything, and we saw a lot of art, met a lot of interesting people and travelled a lot with our parents. (Thanks to grants).

I learned early, through my parents, to only spend what is absolutely nescessary on most days, but also to 'afford' great experiences - and eat porridge for months afterwards. I also learned to tackle debt and incasso people etc. I've had debt and paid off expensively most of my life. But neither I nor my kids have lacked roof, clothes and food, love and fun. And today, although I'm still in debt, I can afford more than ever. Not as much as the neighbours - but who cares. So money matters never scare me.

But I can empathise. I have a friend and colleague who cannot work or anything, when the bank breathes down her neck.

to you. You'll figure it out. Otherwise tell the people/bank/lawyer nicely that you dearly want to pay - but for a while they have to make do with smaller down payments.

I can and will pay, bit by bit, and there will be a regular income, so I shouldn't worry.

I suppose I will get used to being in debt, that's all. The fact's aren't lifethreatening in any way. But the emotions play high and crazy with me.

So, porrige it is, and potato/onion soup.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it helps me calm down.

I'm glad you're taking this the positive way as it was meant.

Half an hour after I've posted, I got all cold, because it could be misunderstood as condescending or as if I was making nothing out of your worries.

If you worry, you worry. And you cannot wrestle those kinds of emotions in a jiffy.

I'm sure I have worries that you and other people can handle easily and without tossing and turning in cold sweat in the wee hours like I do.

One of my tricks is to count my blessings. After three or four of many that suddenly appear in a row to hop forward and be counted it is easier to breathe deep and shove the air down in the stomach as long as possible.

I've read in a detective novel the breathing is a panick killer. And it works.

that's right, kill the panic! breathe!

i hate it when i have to turn every penny - which i have been doing for most of my life

right now i am looking forward to not having to send my two youngest money any more. it will be like getting a 2.000 dkr raise per month - after taxes

soon i will be able to afford the lifestyle i have had for years

seriously though, i agree with tartaronne: you *will* get through this

Been there, done that. You will survive, darling.

I used to try to make budgetting fun, and entered every competition I could! And console myself that I had my health, as did my kids, that I wasn't addicted to drugs.

*This is what I love about this place, and you, my friends.

I am allowed to moan a little, even though it's a problem that won't kill me, and I will get it solved (at some point...)

*And* you lot help me to put things in proportion, just what I needed.

Thanks. Deeply.



fine print: I reserve the right to feel bad about being in debt, and to moan again at a future time. But right now, I don't feel so bad.

*reads the fine print*


Good!

Milla, it is an unpleasant sensation when you are used to being in control, but the deep breath advice is sound. Keep a tight gip on your spending, and don't panic. There is a world of difference for your and your children, between 'want' and 'need'.

You will be doing your children a service for life if you can teach them that. Being in debt is not the disgrace it used to be, or the whole world would be hanging its' head.

I have always told myself that borrowing money is ok - it is not a debt as such until you cannot pay. So long as you don't take credit from a source where the interest escalates, and so long as you don't seek credit from dubious sources you will be fine. Long before you reach the point where things are getting out of hand you talk to whoever you might owe money to, don't bury your head in the sand and pretend it isn't happening.

I am sure if you keep a tight reign, and allow a treat now and then, you will be fine.

deep breath and try and relax

Websailor

*reads the fine print and calls the combined armies of general whining and general complaining to the rescue *

I'd love to say that I won the lotto last week and can loan you as much as you need interest free but... I didn't The main thing is that you continue to be the best mum you can

You don't need money to be an amazing mum I'm not saying it won't be hard but spend as best you can and love as best you can. Cliched as it may be, your children are better off with a loving mum than a rich mum.

Stay .

Van

Yep, as we discussed earlier on MSN...basically, it stinks BUT you are doing right by the kids, you are a great mum & in fact, they may learn (eventually) how to do likewise themselves; which is the best lesson in life you can give them.

Kids can survive without designer clothes, they can't survive without caring mothers.

Caring mothers can't survive without fiends & cheap food. Neighbours need looking after too, especially older ones, or ones with other disadvantages, such as racial etc...

We really, really need to look after each other & that's that.

*Did anyone feed the ? 'cos i am off to bed!*

zdt*ignoring the baleful look of the goldfish: they won't die overnight*

To put it into perspective maybe:

tonight Bou said "can you give me a slice of bread please,"

I said "no way; this half a loaf has to last me a week!"

So: we threw the precious bread at each other!

*But* we have other ways of getting (less satisfactory) carbohydrates if necessary: i have some flour, i can make chapatis, if they cut the electric, we can find someone with heat..etc

We don't live in places where simply adding up the calorie intake versus the calorie defecit is part of the daily routine any more; we have computers...& that may well be the route out of all this; i found a site in France which pays you to take surveys, may well be a scam; but if so, it's on here now isn't it?!!!

http://www.toluna.com/Help.aspx?src=AffiliateFuture_UK_dec2005endinsc

zdt*the joy of the internet is Vast*

all this talk about your kids and how great a mum you are (and you are, make no mistake!) made me think of my own childhood and how i raised my own kids.

we *never* had any money when i was a kid. not the kind of money you *always* "need" for candy and toys and (later in life) bicycles, fashionable clothes, records, tobacco, etc.

at least that's how i felt at the time...

but looking back i can see i lived a truly privileged life. and not having had as much as i always wanted made me appreciate both material *and* other goods after i grew up. i can still marvel at the fact that i can just walk into my own kitchen and make a cup of whenever i feel like it!!!

i (and my ex) were very reluctant when buying s for our kids. okay, so circumstances made it easy for us, because we were in a tight spot for many years before we could afford expensive presents. but we were also both of us afraid that our kids would not receive this "gift of appreciation" that our lives had provided us with, so i'm pretty sure, that even if we *had* had the opportunity to go on a spending spree before every xmas and b'day we wouldn't.

sure, the kids complained about not having the same expensive toys their cousins got for xmas - just like i did when i was a kid.

but today they *never* complain and we get along so fine, my ex and me must have done *some*thing right along the way

which never seizes to amaze me. who knew that a no-good punk like me would grow up to have kids like that?

*Shed a with for the same reason.*

Truely amazing stuff, kids are.

*Rushes back in*

...not implying you are a no-good punk. 'Cause you are most definitely not! ..

thanks, but i really was. honestly. not that i'm a saint now but i've been much worse

The blessing of friends!

I almost feel guilty for moaning! You have all gone through (and still do) much harder times than this! And we aren't even suffering here. We have food. They get basic clothes. The nice things I get them are still on a lean budget, never the latest, never the really expensive new toys (wii and xbox and stuff, no way!)

I am privileged! Thanks all for reminding me!

Don't feel guilty

It makes our day, or at least mine, to be allowed to be of an assistance and be able to feel we're dealing out the wisdom from our own lives.