h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Opens door to a new month, a clean bar...and full bottles!*

Who'll be in next, I wonder?

*pours a and settles down to await the usual defects...*

I've been called a lot of things, but never a Defect.

Is defective a selective invective of our respective collective?

*....the door crashes open and the blue goo couch with a snoring Pan enters, followed by Caer with the pda, using the remote control. The couch settles in it's accustomed spot*

I think I'm getting better at this! I might have to dust off Tomb Raider III and see if I can get Lara through the game, finally!

I need !

I'll accept the label 'defect' if it comes with a

In the middle of cleaning the house (guests must be impending!) and need a quick sip of something.

Can I bring my beanbag in here? Not much room for it at home but don't want to throw it out. It's green. I will use it often so it won't look as though it serves no purpose.

*hastily relocates from April to May thread*

Any around?

Didn't we drink it all in the tasting session? (Thought you were making my hotdog )

** wanders in from the March thread, wondering how he completely missed posting in the April thread **

Hands Marjin a Bloody Mary and a packet of .

** starts nibbling dipped in bloody mary **

Anyone else like a dip?

Mmm, can I dip my breadstick in there?

Lovely!

*By "usual defects", I was of course referring to the blurred vision, slurred speech, wandering hands and gutteral humour that usually accompanies *

I wuzzn't finking 'bout anybuddy in peculiar!

*Blindly wanders in shakily supporting herself on her cane..*

Waaasup??

*Re-enters carrying large green suede beanbag*

Can't see over the top of this...oops!

*Bumps into a bar stool and the beanbag narrowly misses knocking a bottle of gin off the bar*

Blimey, that was close. I shall put this here, betwxit fire and window;it'll be far more use to me here than at home.

*Pours , grabs and and settles onto beanbag*

Need plenty of supplies - once I'm on here I can't get back up that often!

Maybe we can train some of the rabbits to deliver supplies. They are proportionate in height to beanbags.

I think ostriches would be better:
they can look over or around any obstacle,
they easily collect glasses off the top shelf,
they can step over comatose revellers without spilling,
they have a large back for the drinks tray,
and they'll work for peanuts!

The only ostriches I've ever seen at close quarters have had large, prominent signs on the fencing enclosing them warning 'Stay away from fence, ostriches will bite'

Or have they just had bad Press?

Someone must know some rather large rabbits!

Can we train two of them to carry a tray?!

Just one question ... How would we tell the real ostriches and giant rabbits from the delusional ones?

Mine's a pint, by the way ... just ask that ostrich to hand it over.

It won't matter whether they're real or not as long as they can carry and !!

It ~will~ matter if the things bite!