h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*escaping conversations in last month about aging old persons, WR decides he's going to get in touch with his female side and have anniversaries of his 49th from now on*

I think I'll wear black leather and black T-shirts with rude slogans, grow my hair long, sprout a scraggy grey beard and ride a classic Harley-Davidson without baffles and claim 'I can't hear anything, Officer, my hearing aid's turned off' and ogle nubile young women in tight tops and short skirts whilst making suggestive remarks about taking them for the ride of their life....



Come to think of it, I'm doing much of that already...

THERE"S NOTHING LEFT TO LOOK FORWARD TO...!

WR incurable

* enters wearing a tight top and a short skirt *

*sneaks into the corner and observes*

*takes off weathered biker jacket, revealing black T-shirt with bright yellow writing reading: "I Prefer Pink"*

*draws a large and settles down in a good viewing position to quench his thirst...*

Anyone seen Pandora about?

WR

*Enters pushing a pink shopping trolley with a large dent on its front*

No. I haven't been bashing into kids! I had an entanglement with a large motorcycle that someone had parked across the entrance outside.

*Screws up her eyes to focus on WR's t-shirt*

You prefer pink what? Petunias? Gin?

*Notices Babette's tightly fitted outfit*

My! It appears you've been using too hot a wash my dear, and have shrunk your togs! Never mind! I've got a nice flowery frock you can borrow...

surely not one that will cover all this?

what are you, babette? a breastosaurus?

Did you check the Blue Goo sofa for Pandora?

*Opens the windows to let in the fresh spring air. Notices a motorcycle on its side looking bashed about. Picks all the hyacinths and daffodils from the windowboxes and stands them in s on all the tables.*

Ah spring! Lovely!

ah .. spring indeed..

Pierce, do you think it's too tight? I just shouldn't take deep breaths .. the top button won't hold that

i only have one eye

ah.. yes, there's a chance the button will fly and do damage ..

Who put a daffodil in my ?

it's the newest craze

nothing like and , though

.. nothing wrong with those flowers.. it seems bulls have them for breakfast

yeah, but then bulls have strange tastes

just look at their life partners, for instance

...could that be a side effect of the flowers? mm.. interesting

*makes note to self: remember to eat cows, not daffodils*

Are you sure that won't bring any weird side effects?

you mean the artificial hormones in cows will have effect and ..


mm.. poor Pierce.. poor bull ..

I think I'll stick with the

Motorcycle parked outside...?
Mine's parked across the street in the shade under the oak tree.
Gwennie must mean that large tatooed chap with the sawn-off T-shirt that reads "The bitch sits here" on the back and "What the F*#% you looking at?" on the front.
He's just popped in to the gents to get rid of a dozen ales that were giving him excessive wind. He should be out shortly...


WR