h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The regulars at the hospital may have noticed the recent building activity in one of the hospital wings. This latest addition to the hospital is a secure intensive care unit.

By the doors to the the unit are two armed guards, all the windows are bullets proof and ALL the ventilation grilles are FIRMLY bolted on*

*Helps drag stretcher in front of door*
Jeez, he's a heavy fellow, eh?

J.J

right, if we can get him onto fyhmtyjytjyujryjtjetj3e

fyhmtyjytjyujryjtjetj3e?

*Decides to ignore rgeG's jibberish, and turns on walkman to H2G2 Radio ( http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A974423 ) *

(Sorry - Free plug, couldn't help it)



J.J

sorry, PC crashed

*NYC opens his eyes to see an institutional white peeling ceiling with blinkering white institutional florescent lights and two institutional green walls going by rather quickly. The entire place reeks of anti-septic industrial cleaner. He could be in an institution, though the elephant tranquilizers still stuck in his arm make such designations quite inassertive. At least the nurse looks cute.

*Well, blurry and cute.

*At least, NYC hopes it's a nurse. It's so hard to tell. It does look like the nurse is holding a gun, which gives NYC a sense of security that he's back in STUMPED medical, though the gun is trained on him, which rather dissipates that security rather quickly*

*realises that NYC has woken up*

Nice to have you back with us NYC. We're so glad you made it, you see you are very valuable to us. Very valuable indeed.

We are sorry that it has to be this way, holding you against your will but I'm sure you understand that it is very difficult to agree on terms for release, especially when you don't know who you're asking

So if you could just fill me in, who is the leader of STUMPED?

*NYC eyes the nurse next to his enterprising captor. She brandishes a very sharp looking surgical instrument*

Leader? There is no leader in STUMPED! It's an autonomous group of loosely affiliated villianous cells each with a like goal in mind: Destruction of the world's largest hegemonic--... err, world domination! That's it!

Other than that, I can tell you my name and rank, but you already know my name and I have no rank. So there!

*The nurse plugs in said surgical instrument. It whirrs*

*Nurse waves sharp instrument closer...*

Do continue...

I think Greg here, doesn't really like not being let in on secrets...

Yeah, I gets real -ing NASTY!

Greg, is it? How is it that you mercenary types get to have all the amorality of us villains but not the aspirations? What good's money without the power? If you just wanted money, all you had to do was move to Kuwait!

Besides, your armoury is older and deeper than ours. What weapons could you possibly need secrets about?

*The surgical instrument emits sparks and starts making a wub wub sound. The nurse flinches.*

I'll have you know, that I find this job very fulfilling, and I don't think you're going to talk your way out of this one...

Hey Greg, what exactly do we want from this guy?

So Tell us what we want, and Nurse here won't hurt you...

*brandishes instument closer...*

J.J

You haven't told me what you want, and I think nine out of ten doctors agree that that's not an APA-certified surgical instrument. I'd sue you, but my brand of villainy is more the "make very large holes in otherwise strong materials" type...

Ah, well, what do I want?...

......


...I dunno A fight?

You'd have to untie me for that.

*the nurse puts down the instrument. She looks miffed*

I may be overzealous, but I'm not that clueless

I'm talking about the kind of fight where people try to rescue you, now they are fun!

and so on

*a rather voluptuous blonde nurse in a very revealing nurse's uniform breezes by the armed security guards. she is pushing a cart, and heads for NYC's cell. she knocks on the door*

delivery!

*the nurse pulls two twin 9mm from the cart and points it at the door*

BAD sea! that should read "points THEM at the door"

Hey, sea! Nice to see you again! Could you help me out of this predicament? They don't seem to have kept me in bonds, but the elephant tranquilizers definitely need a slight bit of a caffeine antidote, if you know what I mean...