h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* The small lake upon the estate is one of the finest afforded to the gentry of this region. Trout makes it way down the flowing estuaries here, which has served the residing landowner for hundreds of years. The small fishing hut has everything a determined angular could need, and indeed could give ample cover if freakish rain closes in fast...*

*Kes washes whatever it was off his shoe, watching the ripples spread across the lake. Remembering that he had used one of his own personal "u"s in the garden, he replaces it with the superfluous one from the "angular" , which now looks rounded instead. Displeased with the result, he swaps its second "a" for an "e"*

Much better! Ah! That must be the Cahpel over there. Let's take a look!

(reverses the "a" and "h")

3

JOTD: Blood is thicker than water and much tastier

Don't you just hate those typos, especially the embarrasing ones....

oWh, em?

*In the dark hour before dawn, a waiting boat carries Petunia and NexusSeven across the lake to a waiting hot air balloon. The balloon carries them to the ocean shore, where a large sailboat awaits them. They board the boat, gleefully play with the precious jewels which they switched with the fake jewels, and sail across the ocean, where they remain together for a number of years. Though both are haunted by thoughts of roads not taken*

I *knew* we missed a turning somewhere...

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

*Jamie appears, running from the direction of the bonfire very quickly indeed. Incidentally, he is on fire. He leaps into the lake and then crawls up the bank, still smouldering.*

That's it. I've had enough.

*With a look of determination upon his charred face Jamie limps back towards the bonfire. One of his legs is squashed beyond repair.*

Petunia!!! You said you love me!!!

3

JOTD: I have a very firm grasp on reality. I can reach out and strangle it any time.

Aye, this must be the place for me! Not much of water, but it will have to do. And seeing that noone else seems to live here I will go straight to the reception and ask as politely as only I can.

*GB the french maid arrives with fresh bed linen & towels for Pierce.
Unfortunately there is no bed...
Improvisation!
*GB deposits the clean linen in a pile, gets a blanket & ties it at one end of the cabin, taking it to the other side then securing that, stands back looking pleased.
There, a nice hammock for Pierce the Pirate.
That should make him feel at home!
*wires note

Dear Pierce,
I hope you like the hammock I put up for you!
If you need anything at all, please give me a shout.
I can be found in the Bar, kitchen, dining room, or reception, and I sleep in the Lord's Sleeping Quarter's should you need anything outside my shift hours.
Love, GB.
ps. Thanks for the tiara!

*Walks in, sees the hammock and bursts into laughter*

Ha! I knew I could count on that pretty little lassie. Not only does she look incredibly good - she is also smart!

I wonder when she will be outside shift hours? Hm, I better ask her after I had some sleep. Now, where is that rum?

*Holds a bottle to his lips while letting himself fall unto the hammock.

Shortly after that a bottle breaks on the floor and a roaring noise fills the cabin*

ooooohhh, a pirate! i may have to figure a way to sneak back to the manor. jester, when did i say i love you? i'm not saying it's not possible, just that i really don't remember it

oh, Jester, i just remembered that your horoscope was that everyone loves a jester. so yes, since you are a jester and i am included in everyone, i guess i do love you

LOL!!!

Lord M.K*

*wakes up and rises very slowly from the hammock*

That was a good nights sleep... er, well, a good sleep. I could do with a little something now. And something to eat too. Best be heading for that bar.

*stomps out on his one wooden leg*

*clatter of high heels
*knock knock
No answer!
*GB opens the hut door.....
*sound of door creaking
She steps in, and the smell of bay rum hits her full on. She places the breakfast tray down on the little table and goes to look in the hammock. Touching it, it still feels warm, so he's not been up long! I wonder where Pierce went? Is he swimming in the lake? Can't be, it's much too cold
Oh, well, better get back to the Manor, there are other people who need taking care of...

*The sound of galloping hooves, followed by a motorcycle engine disturbs the birdsong at the lake*

Wheeeeeeeee! *Gwennie reins her black stallion to a halt and turns to await the motorcyclist who has been following her*

Hello? Is anyone here?

*All that can be seen is a book of pirate tales and some parrot seed, which have been left on a table*

*Pierce emerges through the back door*

Ah, there me book is - thought so. Do come in, my precious! Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Care for a drink?

And how about you, Gwennie?