h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry Bob. Well, it was a bit dark down there and my mother always did say that I never ate enough carrots. Speaking of which, where's my horsie?

Pierce, you have a relationship with Bob?

*Sits down and shows interest* I'm all ears!

*Tucks her long hair behind her ears and Pierce notices that Gwennie is indeed "all ears"...*

You know vey well my posting was a reply to your posting and...

...hey, nice ears! Your father must have been very concentrated

*Wicked grin!*

I just couldn't resist winding you up!

*Flashes her ears about a bit more*

Kumabear has drawn a picture of my h2g2 persona and you can check out my ears here: http://www.h2g2.com/A406595

Dare I? Ah, whattheheck - am I a pirate or what?

No chance. My 'puter only shows Kumabear, mari-rae and shazz??? Any chance you could download your picture somewhere else (you know where I mean)?









And maybe a couple of pictures from your recent swim

That's strange that your computer didn't allow you to view it...

*Looks baffled and scratches her ears*

Will you be able to view it if I were to insert the picture into an Email? (I wouldn't want to inflict it onto a certain community! )

I've never had a successful photograph taken of me whilst swimming because I keep cracking the camra's lens! However, I've got some post operative pictures of my recent plastic surgery...

*Pulls out a small photograph album from her bag and opens it to show some pretty gruesome pictures. Pierce starts to turn a peculiar shade of green and reaches for his bottle of rum*

*the sound of galloping hooves approaching can be heard*

Whoa Cracker! *Pegasus pulls her horse up a short distance from the hut, and admires the surroundings*

Well, this lake is very pretty. Hang on... skinny dipping in this weather? *Sus shudders, then waves at the intrepid swimmers*

*a deep whinny reaches them from the direction of the hut, and Sus notices the black stallion eyeing them... Cracker lowers her head and returns the greeting*

Think we'd better leave before I get caught in the middle of a compromising situation.

To the woods... tally ho!

St.~A~

Mail away! You don't scare me, lady. Not from what I've seen up to now!

And besides: I still have some rum left...

*Sus and Cracker gallop back past the lake, their chestnut manes streaming*

This is living!

St.~A~

*Sus and Cracker gallop back past the lake, their chestnut manes streaming*

This is living!

St.~A~

Hmm... must have gone the wrong way the first time.

St.~A~

It is a good thing she is not my navigator! I would never have lived this long, heheh.

Well now she is gone and noone else seems to be around I guess it is time for another good swim - and a dive to find out what is on the bottom of this lake! Polly! Watch out for uninvited people and give me a warning, will you?

*Takes off his clothes and his false wooden leg and jumps headfirst into the water*

*Waves to Pegasus as she races past the second time and notices that her stallion is in hot persuit of Pegasus and her horse*

Oh dear! I hope he comes back soon.

*Grabs her camera, just as Pierce is about to dive into the water*

Oh, Pierce!!! Say cheese!

Chee-bubble-bubble-bubble...

*Runs to the water's edge where Pierce disappeared in a failed dive to see bubbles rising to the surface*

Oh, dear! I hope I don't have to resuscitate him!

*Pierce dives down to the floor of the sea and enters his secret hideout through the airlock. He dresses in his robe, turns on the stereo, pours himself a glass of calvados, walks over to his boxbed and is soon fast asleep*

*Wakes up, undresses and makes his way to the airlock, mutters:*

Better get in the hammock before anyone notices this secret hideout of mine. Could do with a nice breakfast too.

*Stands by the lake for what seems to be hours, sobbing and blaming her self for Pierce's demise*

Oh! *Sniffs* If only I hadn't asked him to say "cheese"!!! *Sobs*

*Pulls out a bottle of vodka from her bag and decides to drown her sorrows and then thinks that perhaps drown isn't really an appropriate word to use, given the present circumstances and bursts into another fit of sobbing*

*Emerges from the deep, notices the presence of the lovely lamenting lassie, covers himself with seaweed, hurries into the hut, dresses, almost forgets to attach his false wooden leg and staggers out*

Hello there fair maiden. Any chance I might get a swig of that vodka? I seem to have run dry on rum - and this seawater is not as warm as I would prefer.

*Sniffs and falls back in amazement*

Pierce! Where did you come from? I thought you were dead! How dare you play a trick on me like that!

*Smacks the shocked Pierce over his head with her vodka bottle*

I've been crying my eyes out here for hours!

*Kicks Pierce's remaining shin and sits down to finish her vodka, sniffs again and sulks profusely*