h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Pierce. You do realise that my horse is a stallion, don't you?

*Dismounts and whispers in her stallion's ear*
I'd watch him if I were you. Never trust a human with one leg as they're probably after stealing one of yours.

*Unsaddles the horse so he can roam freely*

Thank you. An iced tea would be wonderful, sweetie! How's your parrot nowadays?

ROFL (for a considerable time)! Guess I would have found out soon enough... Well, hopefully...

Remembers me of 1. a different thread (you'll know which) and 2. a young lassie who once asked me "Is that a wooden leg - or are you just happy to see me?"

Sorry for the delay - here's your iced tea. Care for some rum in it? Polly? - oh, she's fine. As longs as she gets plenty of birdy-num-num she doesn't complain. You know how mute parrots complain? No? Better watch out for your ears...

LOL

Oh, yes a shot of rum would go down a treat, thanks.

*Sips her drink*

A parrot with attitude, hey? Have you considered therapy (for the parrot that is)?

Hm, therapy? That might work. Untill now I've just worn earwarmers to save med from that sharp beak of hers - downside is I don't hear too well. And they are quite warm in the summer. Plus I do look ridiculous with me hat, me earwarmers, patch over one eye, hook for one hand and a wooden leg...

*knock knock
Good morning Pierce!
Here's your breakfast tray!
And seeing as how you're so good-looking, you can have a hug, too!
*hugs Pierce

Oooooh - have I been dreaming! And what a lovely dream it was too! Think I'll pop over to that bar while I still have the time!

Huh! That's it! Waltz off with the first good looking young lady to give you a hug, even if you did think it a dream! A minute ago, you were in lust with my stallion!

*Bob finally arives on his bike not botherd in the slightest about wasting petrol because mobil can always get him more (and we are selling it at £5 a gallon )*
sorry I got waylade in the woods....oh no boddy is here tyipacal right down to plan B.
*strps off and jumps in to the lake dissapering in to the dark blue depths*

*strolls down to the lakeshore edge, removes sundress and walks slowly into the water*


mmmmm, so nice to swim after tequila slammers all morning

*thinks, didn't actually get to eat dinner last night, either, so liquid breakfast will have to see her through to lunch*

Time seems to go so slow here...

*closes eyes and simply drifts*

GB walks into the hut and places a tray of breakfast there for Pierce with a note and a vase containing a single red rose.

*None of them seem to hear a faint voice ... a frightened male voice, calling from Guesthouse 6, appealing for either a rescue squad of paratroopers, or divine intervention .... *

*certainly doesn't hear the faint voice, as her ears covered by water as, eyes closed and blood warm from tequlia shots, she floats on her back towards the middle of the lake*

*opens eyes and spots Lord of the Manor striding through the woods with rifle and determined look on his face*

*waves*

Pierce walks in, smiles at the rose, eats the divine breakfast and wonders what the note reads...

It probably mentions the fact that there's a very cross looking lord striding his way towards our hut with a rifle over his arm...

I think it's time to make myself scarce and join Tahsalls in the lake.

*Disrobes and dives into the lake, leaving Pierce blind at the shock of seeing her naked body which wasn't a pretty sight*

Holy mackerel! What a sight! Now I can die in peace...

* Don't be so hard on yourself, Gwennie - leave that to me *

Why would I be afraid of a rifled lord?

*Boubbls rise from the depths of the lake as Bob realises he is not alone down there*

*Dives down to the depths of the lake and realises she's not alone*

Eeek!

*Surfaces in panic*

Eeek!

*Scrambles out of the lake and dives into her clothes where Pierce is still rubbing his eyes*

Oh, sorry about that! Don't mind all those purple scars, they're from my recent and very expensive plastic surgery...

I think a wee drinkie is in order to recover from the shock...There's something in the lake, you know...

*Surfaces for a second*
I resent that I am a person. I have feelings you know
*dves back down in to the lake*

For Bob's sake, don't mention it! It will cast a spell over our relationship!