h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*decides he ought to introduce himself*

Hello, I'm the Dewey Demon, one of CHOPPERS' active members. As you can see from the grey spandex cardigan and the lovely thick glasses, I'm a super-heroic librarian. I have the power to name Dewey Decimal numbers for things, and to get annoying tunes stuck in people's heads. I'm also armed with a silencer, but it didn't work last time I tried to use it. Oh, and I've lost my H-Dial, and I'm a bit worried that RD will take the cost of a replacement out of the book fund. And people have hinted that I have some other powers, but I don't recall using them. In fact, there's one battle I barely recall any of...

So anyway, hi.

Hi DD, I'm Scandrea, and this is Tracer
< > *puffs out chest and tries to look heroic* </ >

Hi DD. Don't step on wolf. *Strange memories of born to be wild go through head*
Wow that's some power you have there!
The wolf is a bit small isn't it? Is it full grown or is it still a cub?
*strange haunting music of dib-dib-dib and Gingangoolee goes through head*
Can you put a cap on that power of yours DD?

Yeah, I know. I can't get Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" out of my head!

I'm not really sure if he's fully grown or not. He started following me around in the Forest of Bad Odds of Returning, and hasn't left me alone since. Not that I mind. He's good at hunting, has an impeccable sense of smell, a good guard...er...wolf, and he can get in and out of places that I can't. And he eats the fish from the fish-slapping game. We make a pretty good team.

Don't let his size fool you though!

>impeccable sense of smell<
No wonder he's been giving me funny looks!

Sorry, that tunes-stuck-in-your-head thing seems to leak out sometimes.

*adjusts glasses*

Is that any better?

*maintains stillness for a few seconds*
Yep that seems to be When I'm sixty four! better.

That's good.

Have you written anyting on the ...ta dumdee dum - Hi Ho Silver Away Dewey system for the guide?

No, someone beat me to it, by writing a very mean piece about poor old Dewey. I have written something about how to get the best out of a university library, though.

*blinks* ? *blinks*
Wazzat?

is used to denote things said "out of character", so things said by the singing librarian who exists in the so-called real world rather than the Dewey Demon, who is also a singing librarian, who excists in the world of h2g2. Did I explain that properly, or did I slip into meaningless gibberish

that was perfect

*walks in, carrying a pane of glass and some tools. Cleans out birds nest sitting in rafters (the room's been open for over two days, ya know! ). Replaces window with flask-shaped hole in it.*

Sorry about that! Next time I throw a vile amnesia potion out the window, I'll open it first!

*walks out*

Erm, excuse me but there's finger prints all over this glass you know!
*Looks closely at glass.*
And it's back to front!

I have very little knowledge in computer and am zero in Graphic Design.I cannot see well.But I am some visions to save our Planet Earth.u can visit my site and help me.We should fight 4 World peace,one family of the world.We should fight with the wisdom sword.So, pl. help me.

I like music.It symbols peace.It is one of the wisdom.Can u help me when i need u.

,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,
Right String Conch and his Wisdom Sword.
`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`'=-.,.-='`
This could be an interesting combination.
You must realise, before we sign you up, that this is completely for fun and we are all make believe characters who live on the internet and have no existence in the real world. If you want REAL help to solve REAL problems you have come to the wrong place.
If you want to be silly on the internet then you have come to the right place.
We won't be upset if you don't want to join us.

Music is peaceful? Try no wave punk.

*Holds up set of trusty bagpipes*
Prepare for some peace!