h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A Mint machine - an unusual idea, but why not? If you want to freshen up, your breath is often in need. But may not be appropriate for the Cafe.

So, why a couch, Fashion Cat?

why a couch? people seem to be talking about very handsome men, and it'd be more cosy if we could all sit down. Its sore sitting on a sink all the time!!!

and sorry, I was talking about the smint machine I have seen elsewhere, it probably wouldnt look right in the cafe!!!

These look like nice bathrooms. I'm actually surprised that these are the only toilets around here.

They aren't the only ones... but they are the cleanest! The ladies and Gents are full of graffiti! I should know... I wrote a lot of it LOL
shazzPRME

And very good prose it was too.

Even in the gents?

Especially in the gents!!!

*shrugs and decides to enter the mens's room* I'll see for myself.

*Orders, and delivers, one couch. Puts it somewhere so everyone can sit on it.*
Would you like to do the honours and declare the couch open by grafittying it, Shazz?
*Also one sminty minty machine is put in the corner*

~I now declare this sofa open~

*An alternative Coca the Clown
Pulled his trousers up rather then down.
His nose was bright green,
And mildly obscene;
You should see where he painted his frown*

~Applause, applause~

shazzPRME

ROFL

*Chuckles*

Where did you get that from Shazz?

*Is very impressed by couch*

*sits and relaxes...*

This is the part when everyone bundles on the couch, squeezes on, and the couch snaps under the weight 3 posts later...

You mean like in the title sequence for 'The Simpsons'?

I hope that it doesn't collapse just yet!
*rises and finds a nice clean spot just above DD's head*

~When drinking a cup of Earl Grey,
My trousers began to decay.
I clutched at my zip,
But the old PG tip
Was determined to have its' own way!~

*Flushed with success, shazz finds another area to vandalise*

~Consuming too much herbal tea
Can cause havoc when having a pee!
When out on the razzle
You tend to pass basil,
And, last night, old Basil passed me!~

*retreats back to the coach and hopes that the cleaning bot stays away!
shazzPRME

Oh dear...
*Sits back on the couch, cross legged.... as if needing to go to the loo...*

Walks in the door.

Hey! What happened to the toilets?
What happened to the latrine?
What the [Omision because this is h2g2 and you can't do those sorts of things here] is going on? Why is there a broken sofa, a demented robot wanting to spray me with some sort of goo colored can of paint and all of you piling on the sofa?
Why are you all female?
Could you please tell me where the real bathroom is?

Recognizes BB from the pool.

YOU!

Wait you're not all female, in fact, none of you are female at all...

Surprised look.

Why am I in the Ladies' Room?

For the standard of the grafitti obviously!
shazzPRME

*Nothing more confusing then people asking for the bathroom - this is the toilet. If you want a bath, go somewhere esle. *
Hmm... Well, we could have seperate conversations for the Ladies and Gents, trouble is, as this is h2g2, a lot of researchers are animals, hermaphrodites, siamese twins, aliens and various other asexual creatures so that it may not work out...
Besides, who would keep the sofa???

<BB<