h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*More wonderful smells drift in from the kitchen. All the guests wait expectantly*

* Given that HE usually gets by on a ‘liquid’ diet, HE waits in expectation... *

*... for at least 3 seconds, before drawing the Raj’s ceremonial sword and skewers some of the starters from across the table *

Jolly Good !!!

* HE looks down at the collection of cutlery in front of him, hesitates, and decides that as HE doesn’t want to inadvertently pick up the wrong knife or fork, and so breach social etiquette, he decides to use his sword instead *

I don’t suppose anybody has the keys to that rather fine drinks cabinet... ?

- Simply, High Spirited.

*gives up waiting for his starter to arrive and begins eating the napkins*

Surely God, you don't need to worry about the keys to get into the drinks cabinet. Anyway I thought it was unlocked.

~Goes to check~

Yes it does seem like it is. What would everybody like?

*sips from straw having recently topped up his and Coelacanth's hats*
I think I am fine just now thanks Phil. If only I could get rid of the spots in front of my eyes that the flash (in more ways than one) appears to have left burnt into my retinas!
*turns to look knowingly at Gwennie, Coelacanth and Greebo, giving them all a huge smile*

*raises a glass to toast the gracious host, realises that it is in fact spindle-shrew and places it back gently on the table. looks slightl confused and reaches for more drink*

~Greebo arrives out of breath...~

Sorry... lost the party there for a minute sweeties...

Did you nip out to get the film developed?
Everyone has been very polite and waited for you before the next course. Can you get the staff to bring the food now? Phil and God A are about to have a drinking competition.
Thanks for the top up Babel-17. We certainly have the finest head gear.
/

Please excuse me for being late.

Oops. Doughnuts, anyone?

Hello sweetie... ~grin~... Where is Menza??? ...

*sweeps in dramatically in a 1935 drop-back gown, Marcell waved hair, open toed heels, diamonds and smoking a cigarette in an elegant holder*

Hello hello hello dahlings!! So sorry I'm late!! Fancy another on the ladies side? I know I've missed the starters, but I was drawn here by the smell of the main course which I do not not not intend to miss! Greebo dear, lovely to see you. *blows a kiss* You are looking just darling this evening.

*finds a seat and sips some champagne*

*starts eating the table mats*

*Enters carrying yellow and orange carrier bag, walks briefly into the kitchen to fetch a starter to place in front of EV.*

Sir.

*walks over to sideboard to place a photograph on a sliver trey, then delivers it to the hostess*

Excellent photography Ma'am, only there appears to be a paw in the middle of the picture.

*looks at starter*
Oh, thank you... I'm a bit full now though.

*nearly chokes on drink, hearing about the photograph.
Thinks to self 'I thought I felt something furry brush my knee'*

And you just thought it was that furry purse you are wearing.
Nice try Greebo. Now we'll never know, unless.....
*whispers to Greebo who nods and giggles, then tops up Babel-17's hat with a big ~grin~.*

*leans over towards Coely and Greebs*
My dears, If you are that curious, I shall tell you. Privately.
And it is not a purse, it is a Sporran. I do not keep my money in it.
It's more a sort of handbag, for men, doncha know! Currently it contains: Handkerchief, Hip flask(full), gum(spearmint extra), and my cigars, for after dinner.
I tell you my head feels very heavy suddenly! Better drink up and lighten the load. *sooks on straw* Ah! Bliss.
This second course better hurry up or I will be under the table.
*winks*

* HE leans across the table conspiratorially to the erstwhile cat whispering... *
Let’s wait until the 3rd course and replace his sporran with a live badger...

* HE then looks impatiently at Phil to pour the next round... *

- Moving in Mysterious Ways.

I'm not the waiter you know, I'm just bored of waiting.

Pours GOD another drink and tops up every one elses glasses/hats.

Cheers!