h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK,

"cheapest whitest sliced bread" - Yes
"cheap margarine or butter substitute" - Yes
"smoked back bacon" - Yes
"tomato ketchup" - NO, NO, NOOOO.....

It just has to be HP Sauce, "The Sauce"... doesn't it?

Still not quite right, per my wife - gotta be peanut butter (on toast with bacon). Of course, this is the US, and we already lost on the lettuce and tomato recipe ...

Still not quite right, per my wife - gotta be peanut butter (on toast with bacon). Of course, this is the US, and we already lost on the lettuce and tomato recipe ...

ergh, you CANNOT put peanut butter on a bacon sandwich

for that matter, you can't put it in your shopping basket either, but on bacon is heresy, got to be!

My dad puts vinegar on his.

But I don't bother. Just the thought of a bacon sandwich in its most sublime state .. Two slices of white bread toasted and thickly buttered, bacon lightly grilled or fried and still dripping with fat - slap the lot together and get on with it. Just the thought gives me orgasms and I couldn't wait for any more fancy stuff.

My dad puts vinegar on his.

But I don't bother. Just the thought of a bacon sandwich in its most sublime state .. Two slices of white bread toasted and thickly buttered, bacon lightly grilled or fried and still dripping with fat - slap the lot together and get on with it. Just the thought gives me orgasms and I couldn't wait for any more fancy stuff.

A great tip for those suffering from extreme hangovers (or, in fact, the terminally lazy like me). If you heat the oven to a reasonably high temp. and place the bacon on a cold baking tray then pop it in said oven for 10-15 minutes you get top results. Bacon cooked in its own juices (like frying, but not as greasy), plus you don't have to stand there watching the grill.

I, like you, am terminally lazy but can't hang around for 15 mins for a bacon butty. Frying is quicker (and more traditional)

*Mmmm.. Bacon and HP sauce*

*Conscience says: "You're a bloody vegetarian! Don't think about bacon sarnies!*

*Goof says: "Sorry!"