h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* Saint Peter looks in horror at FC, Bob & Tweetie... *

St.Peter - Hello Silent Bob !!!

...just when I thought HE had a monopoly on being enigmatic, you come along to lift the ante !!!

St.P.

I'll call and raise you a rubber chicken

3

JOTD: Talk is cheap since supply exceeds demand

Oh so its easer as a bird I never thought of that.
*Sighs at his owne stupidaty walks over to the edge of the tower, spreds his arms as if they where wings and jumps of shouting*
Jironimo
*the shout gadually changes in to the caricteristc shreek of a Horwk and soon a Blue banded howk passes the tower cloring at the air trying to get lift. a Vioce is herd which sounds like it is from a great distance but people arnt shure if they herd it in ther head or through there ears*
Ok Tweet your the expert what am I doing wrong. No need to be gentle thought I know that I am pathetic so just correct me

Hi, Tweetie,

"Basic" training - that sounds right for me. OK - where and how do I start with these wings things?

GO KES!!!

Well, flapping them up and down might be a good start Kes.

Aha! and flap a little harder ... and .. we have lift-off. Now - how do I turn? If I want to go over there....
*Points - gets confused between arm and wing muscles*Clump!
Sorry Tweetie. Quite unintentional. We will have to stop bumping into each other like this.
*Gets up, helps Tweetie up, resumes a dignified hover at 3ft. *
Now how do I turn - or do I have to have forward momentum for that?

Stsrting to get the hang of it as a hawk so I think I will change back now.
*changes back in to his usual form but forgets to enlagen the wings and plumits down to earth A thud is herd*
Ouch the road is very hard. but at least I did not land on that dam fence

Hmm - don't think I'll try that maneouvre just yet!

*Flutters back up his clothing torn in a number of places*
good plan although if you do find yourself falling I sugest you try and miss the pence post I have landed on that a few times and it really herts.

Thanks for the advice!
*Practices a few gentle turns above an area free of fence posts ... moves on to a couple of wing-overs and a chandelle ;;;*
Hey - this is good!

Do these wings come in a mechanical version?

*A note flutters down to the assembled Angels*
*It reads:*
Tweetie is away, taking a slightly more than weekend course in How to Teach the Art of Flying...
She will return to this thread on Monday, full of knowledge. Or possibly just very hungover. She hasn't decided yet...

*in a heap surounded in empty Bottles of cheap scotch With vince stand over him looking disapionted*
Yaaaa we can be hung over to gether
*Grones*
shouldent of done that now my head herts.

Tweetie - nobody told me about preening - or cleaning, whatever you call it. I've got a load of sand in my feathers (none of your business) - how am I supposed to clean them?

Jumping in to the sea works but then you just have to figer out how to dry them

::Crashes down through a tree & demolishes stuff .. stuff in general::

::Unhooks parachute::

::parachute gets wrapped around anyone & everyone as it blows away::

::Puffs out chest::

I'm ready to fly!

::Brandishes her sleek, well-groomed HOT pink wings::

Yeah! No more wily parachutes for me!

::Wings unfurl & spread wide, flap, & carry LePerdy a few feet up::

Whoa... neat! I can see my house from here! Wait... Dude, that's a rock.

::Peers down at the rock, examines the ground around it, & for a moment, wonders why exactly she isn't ON the ground::

::Whump!!::

Hey, I thougt that ... if I had... But I never forgot to hit the ground in the first place!!!