h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcome to the Atelier! If you're a stranger, please take a few minutes to look over our page at A304354, and find out what we're about. You might also like to visit the offsite atelier and look at the illustrations and the floorplan, to get yourself oriented.

It's Christmas, and Amos has just delivered a goo spruce to the front door, which the bots will be bringing up via the service lift as soon as Chloe, Zoë and Matina have finished cleaning up the salon. Once they've wrapped on the twinkly lights, we'll decorate the tree with contributions from our own traditions, whehter they are familial, cultural or national.

By the way, it's the same goo spruce as last year, so don't forget to say hello and thanks.

Although we had lately left off the scribing and such for lack of volunteers, I think you'll all agree that Phil should receive an honorary Scribe Award for keeping track of the subject header game that we played in the last conversation. *Chloe hands over a small trophy consisting of a golden ferret standing on seaweed*

For the rest of you, my thanks as always for being a part of the atelier. Salonistas, the room is ready and the tree stands in the corner by the megaphoton fountain. Please come in and make yourselves comfortable.

Am I first?

Am I second?

*Matina brings GDZ an Irish coffee in a festive red white and green FTTF mug*

{Teuchter}

So all it takes is a pure stroke of luck to get the FTTF?

Well, you don't win if you don't post, GDZ. How long had you been trying? What a nice Christmas present for you!

To continue some thoughts we were talking about before --

Affi, nothing wrong with religious people watching Life of Brian. Those with a sense of humor know that it's an attack on what can go wrong with organized religion. Others, like for instance the Archbishop of Canterbury (when it was released) believed it was an attack on Jesus.

The strange thing is that you can never be certain ow the avowedly religious will take it. The ones I know will love it, I'm sure -- especially the ones with enough bible education to "get" the prophets.

Cooking utensils: some extremely old items have come down to me through the family, things for which I can not find acceptable modern substitutes in stores today. I have a pair of small forks, hand-made of iron. They consist of one piece of iron all the way through, with two lengths of wood riveted on to make a handle. You can't leave them in water because they commence rusting immediately. Their narrow sharp prongs make them ideal for frying meat, or pricking baked potatoes. If I could find a modern equivalent, I would give the originals to a museum, because I'm sure they date back to the 1870's at least.


Hello tree! Thanks for agreeing to come down and be decorated again. Have you got enough water?

Made it to the first LED, must be quiet in here today.

Thanks for the good thoughts folks - it worked mum's retina is still attached. The strange shadows in her vision are (according to the doc) the scars from their previous attempts to fix the eye, she hadn't seen them before because she couldn't actually see out of that eye at all so it is probably a good sign that she will at least get some of her sight back when it all heals

::waves to the tree and wraps it in a homemade garland of cranberries and popcorn::

I rather want to sit at home and watch The 008 days of 007 on Spike. They are playing all of the Bond films and I could use the distraction.

I've got a doctor's appointment this afternoon to talk about my acid reflux and my sleep apnea. I guess that is why I never sleep...

Yes, it ~is~ quiet, but I'm sure most everyone will be stopping by. That's good news, kelli, about your mother's eyesight!

Neighbors just called to say that, when they were on their way home last night, they drove past my place and saw a whole herd of deer peeking in my window.

The tree looks just as beautiful this year as last.

*adds straw angels and corn husk dolls from the Ozarks to the tree*

That's a lovely story about the deer peeking in the window.

*Tiptoes in with the box of glittered seashells carefully packed away at the end of the last Christmas season. Distributes the shells around the tree, smaller ones towards the top, largers ones near the bottom.*

*Matina scoots in, delivering an eggnog to Witty.*

How does she do that?

*brings in a bright red felt raindeer, only two inches high, embroidered in gold thread, and several pairs of miniature scarlet socks, to hang on the tree*

Hello tree!

Ooh, Amy, your poor leg. Happy leg thoughts. And am very glad to hear kelli's mum's eye is OK after all.

I have had a very very very busy day at work. Last day open before holidays, so every single reader just had to come in and want something weird and painstaking. Or just plain dumb.

'My friend said I could come in and borrow this video.'
'OK, just swipe your library card on the gate...'
'I don't have a library card.'
'Oh, OK. I can make you up one if you have a photo and your student card...'
'I'm not a student.'

So, we established she wasn't a member of the library, the college, any other college, or any other institute of higher education. She just wanted to borrow a video. And as her friend could borrow videos from us, she didn't see why she couldn't. And this took TEN MINUTES. With a queue. It's amazing how long ten minutes seems when you are dealing with a total dingbat.

And then there's the student who wanted to know if it was OK to return her books now, as the date stamped in them was January. Would she be fined? And the chap who thought he was allowed twenty books instead of ten because it was Christmas. And the other chap who wanted to come back and collect his books at six even though we were closing at four.

Anyway. It's Christmas. We all got silly and started singing 'sleighbells' towards closing time and frightened the last of them off.

I don't know how much I'll be able to post with the flat full of In-Laws (the puter is in the living-room, the living-room is only yea big, If someone is on the puter only one other person can see the telly). So Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah and a totally wonderful New Year to you all. And having said all that, I'll probably be back in here at one in the morning rambling on in a slightly pie-eyed state after everyone else has gone to bed.

Well, I'm off to Lancashire for Christmas. I'm not sure if they have internet there, so I'd best bid you all a merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Here's a neutron star, properly shielded, for the top of the tree. [Places star on top of tree with Matina's assistance.]

Ah, another cyst-ah in the house?

Amy, how's your leg doing? Since you can't get to the doctor's until after the weekend, keep a careful eye on the swelling. Hot salt-water compresses are antiseptic, and the heat will kill bacteria. The usual biohazard rules apply here, until you know what the problem is.

I made butternut squash soup the other day... I believe it was FG's recipe. Most excellent. I left out the apple, as I'd neglected to get some and was a bit nervous about putting apple in soup, but it turned out very tasty. It's a beautiful orange color. I wish I was serving it for a fancy party, because it would look great in my black glass bowls.

Matina, I'd like an egg nog with whiskey, please... Ah, that's tasty.

Never look at the calorie content of egg nog. No, really. You'll never want another glass. When you consider that it's heavy cream mixed with eggs and whipped with sugar, it's not surprising. Depending upon the maker, it's between 210 and 190 calories for a half cup.

I ~did~ look at the ingredients the other night, and decided to have just half a cup.

Ah, it's Christmas. Didn't you know calories don't exist during the holiday season? It's right there in the Bible, after the bit about three guys wandering about with gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

I'm glad you liked my soup.

Long time denizens of the Atelier may remember that my traditional decoration for the Goo Spruce is a tacky silver coloured plastic reindeer ornament that was a favourite of mine growing up. Again this year I will offer this ornament up as my contribution to the decoration. The world knows that I am generally against the hype and hoopla of this holiday, feeling that the meaning is long lost in the retail hell that is going on right now.

Well, I just recieved a package from my family containing a few odds and ends as christmas gifts. One of the items sent was that self same tacky silver christmas ornament. That silly Cervidae that has been on my family's christmas trees for these last 30 years.

I laughed when I saw it and was nearly overcome by a bought of homesickness. It sucks, being away from nearly all my friends and all of my family. While I don't like this time of year for reasons my own, I miss dearly the time spent with family.

I will be back later with my own personal traditional toast to the holiday for what it means... I just felt that I should share the story of that little piece of home that just arrived on my doorstop.

>> I saw a very good offer on plane tickets to Manchester but I haven't found any good reason or possibility to go there. Well, the fact that I've never been in UK would be a good reason, of course.

*ahem* There's tha small matter of my housewarming party? Manchester's my second closest airport after Leeds-Bradford, and for vistors fron For'n Parts... well, you can certainly stay at mine, Hati.


>> Kids (including me) tend to guard toys the way dragons guard gold. They pretty much ignore it for long periods of time, but often notice even a tiny portion of it missing.

I'd never have described it that way Affy, but you are bang on the nail with that one!

*gulp* My curtains and my knickers have made it into the story I'm honoured. .... I think....


>> so should I just cut off that bit of the cake, patch the icing and eat it anyway?

Yep. Don't go throwing away a huge amount of spendiferous cake. [you could always give the bare bit to Old Mrs D]


>> the antiseptic properities of dog saliva are a lot stronger than the antiseptic properities of human saliva.

Now that's interesting, KA. Didn't know that.


*worries about Kelli's mother*


*worries about Amy's leg*





Sorry about the silence - I went to the Big Black Tie Christmas Bash on Tuesday night and drank one (1) glass of orange juice and four (4) glasses of tap water and one (1) glass of mineral water.... and then had a migraine for two days. TWO DAYS! Bah! Humbug!

However, I'm as ready as I am going to be for Christmas, (not very), and looking forward to it, albeit rather grudgingly. What I am really looking forward to is time in my New House in the Daylight, when I can see the view, and go tramping over large amounts of it.

I may be able to dial up using dial up, otherwise it'll be silence until the New Year or ADSL, whichever comes first.

So.....

May the winter holidays be kind to you, and the New Year usher in good things for you and those you love.

B

PS - this, from my Godmother, amused:

A member of our Oxfam group was recently in Ethiopia, where he met a hermit named Samuel who lived in total poverty in some caves, dining on roots, locusts and suchlike, as his spiritual ancestors had done for a thousand years. His appearance was very colourful, so Peter photographed him, saying, 'I'd like to send you a copy but - well, you haven't got a postal address.'

Hermit: (startled) But couldn't you send it by email?