h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Unfortunately I know a bit about this topic. I was stalked by an ex-boyfriend. Your advice to stalking victims is simplistic. Get help how? From whom? When I was stalked, there were no anti-stalking laws to protect me. I had written threats against my life, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it until he actually physically DID something to me. Writing letters, nuisance phone calls, following me everywhere, all fell under "harassment" which is a misdemeanor. Since the actress Rebecca Schaefer was killed by her stalker, anti-stalking laws have been passed in the US.

But there's much more to this than just the laws. As in a lot of rape cases, the victim may blame herself. In fact, I feel that stalking is psychological rape.

I'd be happy to counsel anyone who is being stalked. Yes, get help if there are anit-stalking laws where you live. But whatever you do, DON'T blame yourself.

But if I REALLY do love Sandra Bullock, is it stalking? It's not like I dig through her trash or anything. Well, okay, maybe once, but I thought I was at Patricia Arquette's house. (Common mistake, could happen to anyone!)

Had to throw SOME humor here. I can honestly say it happens to both sexes. It really is a scary situation. I had a lady follow me around just after she started working for . She went skydiving like I do. Imagine my suprise when I landed on the ground, and POOF she comes running up. She even went to the lengths of joining a rehab group that I had been in. MANY MANY phone calls every day. And she only worked for me. Anywho... can relate, just like to make humor in serious situations. No offense.

For regular, non-celebrities, people, men rarely get stalked. Typically it's the women who get harassed by ex-husbands or ex-lovers. Yes, that woman sounds like she's one nugget short of a Happy Meal. Too bad that you went through it also.

Wow! You must be really hot! Or a really good lover!
Yup, laughter is the best way to relieve stress.

And I have warned Patricia & Sandra ....

Good looking? Well, if you like tentacles.... She never got to the lover part. Just fell in love from sight. (I got a killer personality tho!) It is a shame when people go that route tho. But yet, what kind of world would be in if it wasn't for the loonies, wackos, perverts, and chemically imbalanced people? Utopia or paradise MIGHT get kind of boring after a while. (But hey, thats what the Bahamas are for!)
And thanks for warning them. yeah, yeah, thanks alot. On a totally unrelated subject, are you married? Seeing anyone? Where do you like to hang out? I'm ummmm just curious. Making conversation.

Joe

Are you telling me that you were stalked by a chick that you never had sex with?!?!?! That is VERY rare. You must be HOT!

Those tentacles must be AWSOME!

What did you do to get rid of her? My ex-boyfriend just quit, but it took about 6 months for him to stop following me around and threatening me. I don't know why he stopped ... perhaps he saw YOUR tentacles!

A Psycho reference, huh?!?! Finally a reference that I understand!!

I do have some really nice tentacles, now that you mention it. On the good looking scale of 1 to 10 I rank about an -17,000,000. Tellin' ya... personality goes a long way!

Wouldn't life actually be nicer if we all had background scores? Lets see, my typical day would consist of:

Wake up:Looney tunes soundtrack
Shower:Singing in the rain
Go to work:Working 9 to 5/Take this job and shove it
Go home:Time(Pink Floyd version)
Get ready for night of stalking:Closer(NIN)/Piano soundtrack from Eyes Wide Shut
Get ready for bed:Th-Th-Th-Th-Thats all folks.

Good morning. Lovely to hear my music playing. Toast? Poached eggs? Here share mine.

Mr. Looney, What?!?! Do you have some sort of search going to detect when your music is playing? It had only JUST started!

I see on your home page that you have been bungee jumping. Did you just do it that once, or are you a REAL looney! I haven't done the bungee thing, but I have been skydiving. I still don't know why I did that, when I got out of bed that July morning I had no idea that I'd jump (well, actually I was PUSHED) out of a plane at an altitde of 13,500 feet. T'was an interesting experience, but I much prefer scuba diving. Now THAT'S cool!! You get to see lots of colorful !!

Joe, If I had to pick a soundtrack, well, it would be a moving target dependent on my moods. With all due respect to Mr. Looney and his theme song, I believe most of my soundtrack would contain LOUD METAL music. Except right now, because your name (Joe) is the same as my latest alleged beau, and that bring Alanis Morrisette songs to mind. I hope to God you are not him!! He should be embarassed to show his tentacles!

Stalking music? How about Possum Kingdom by The Toadies? Or The Police's I'll Be Watching You?

Keep dreamin', Joe!!

WOW, all good choices for stalking music. Hmmm... reminder to self: Next CD entitle it "Music to stalk by"! I have jumped about 15 times myself. Skydiving has gotten boring, so I have started to take up hang gliding! FUN stuff! Never been scuba-ing. Can't swim. Kinda takes the fun outta of it, I suppose. Would love to try it, but haven't had the opportunity yet. As for Joe being the last beau in your life.... ummm... Hmmmmm... Ya want I should change my name?

And no, I am not him. Are you sure you didnt pull the ole 'black widow' on him? Date, mate, snack?

Blondie, after we went bungy jumping the next adventure was whitewater-rafting. Excellent. A lot of fun.

Some of my friends went on to do tandem-skyjumping but I was too much of a wimp.

Here's what a lady friend of mine said when we asked her to go bungy jumping with us.

"I would rather eat every page of a Japanese car maintenace manual while singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in a topless karaoke bar".

Now that would attract stalkers.

I *WISH* that I pulled a Black Widow on him. But hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Insects have the right idea ... not just the black widows eating their mate when they have outlived their usefulness, but look at a bee colony. One queen, and all the drones serve her. Very efficient system, dontcha think? And I believe you can't be the OTHER Joe becasue he's too much of a chickensh*t to skydive or hang glide! I went skydiving once, and that's enough for me!

I have always wanted to go hang gliding but I have never had the opportunity. Where have you been hang gliding? Are you in Europe too? You don't need to be an olympic swimmer to scuba dive. You just need to be able to swim and tread water a bit (while waiting for the boat to swing by and pick you up).

Will think of more stalking tunes for you new CD and get back with you ...

I *LOVED* what your friend said about bungee jumping! I'm gonna remember that one! I agree with her 100%, by the way!
Yes, that activity would probably attract stalkers, but that's okay since NOW I know how to handle 'em!

White water rafter is another thing I have wanted to do. That and hang gliding. But I have not had the opportunity for either. Where did you go rafting?

Blondie, we went whitewater rafting on (occassionly in) the Mohawka River. It is one of the better rafting rivers in the North Island of New Zealand.

Make that Mohaka.

I bet it's beautiful there. The pictures I have seen of New Zealand are ALL beautiful! I hope to go there one day.

About 30 miles east of the Mohaka River is Napier, my home town.

A picture of Napier is on my page. It is attached to the yarn - Napier, New Zealand's Art Deco Paradise.

No, I am not in Europe. American trash here! I fly about 30 miles from here, just west of a little town, maybe you've heard of it, Milwaukee! (yay) I was a bit untruthful on the swim part. I can lie on my back and float, and swin across stuff, but as soon as I stop... plop, like a rock! I'd rather die falling, then to suffocate with no air in my lungs, trying to fill them with air... feeling my lungs burst....AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... I scared me.... whew. No, But I would like to try it. I am waiting to go to Australia to try the bun-gee jumping. I saw it on TV when I was a weewee tyke. The Aborigines (sp) did it as a test of manhood or something. They used vines, and some people actually died. Then later in the years bung-yee jumping became the "sport" it is today! But since I saw it there first, thats where I have to do it. I went to Europe, when they tore the wall down, but havent been back since. Itching to go! Ramble ramble.... babble babble.... etc etc

I have been to Milwaukee and to Madison. I have friends who live in New Glarus. So THERE!

Not to push you into it or anything, but with scuba gear you can float. You wear a BCD (Bouyancy Control Device) that can keep you from plopping like a rock and scaring yourself! Come on Joe, you can do it!!!

Joe, modern-day bungy jumping was invented by a J Hackett, a New Zealander, in NZ. The west island of NZ (Australia) is 1200 miles away - too far to swim.

Make sure you do your jump in the correct country.