A Conversation for Stalkers

My deep dark secret - I once was a stalker

Post 1

AgProv2



See A695388 "Dealing with being dumped" and a conversation thread leading off this.

As I say I think I could write a Guide entry on what it was to be, to all intents and purposes, a stalker, and how I found the strength to break out of it.

(This does the beg the question, though: if I had the strength to cut free of a damaging situation and turn my back on it, and if at all times I was aware of a cold sane inner voice telling me not to do anything stupid, was I really a full-blown stalker at all, or merely heavily infatuated?)

As I say, constructive feedback would be welcome.





My deep dark secret - I once was a stalker

Post 2

AgProv2

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F84025?thread=3766813 "So you've started stalking the poor girl?"


My deep dark secret - I once was a stalker

Post 3

laslon

i understand how you may feel if you were once in an intimate relationship
i was too for 2 years and he broke it off. although i have not killed him i am realizing (and inwardly always knew) that i have stalked him not in the crazy way were his family is theartened or i have made up plans to kill him but in the way that i was emailing him allot i was still having sex w/him. In my head i was hoping we'd get back together or i was thinking that if i had sex w/him it would prevent him from possibly being open to another relationship (these ideas are completely false because i cant control his life he may date someone else.) You see what i realize is i am angry at him for his rejection of me because i as a person feel abandoned and unloved and even though our relationship was truely unhealthy and mentally abusive on both ends. i still feel connected toward him because i feel he understands and knows me but the reality is he doesnt want a relationship with me.
so even if you arent all crazzy like the stalkers you hear on tv i would say be careful because speaking for myself i have felt rage, and a need to control (in a manipulative way) my ex boyfriend. Which if not careful if not changed can possibly lead to something fatal or jail or a restraining order.

i think stalkers feel lonely within themselves and want security and
they falsify that security for themselves onto or with someone else the reality is you can only be happy with yourself and love yourself and respect yourself you cant expect someone else to know you or respect you or understand you or create healthy boundaries for you.
only you can do that your self.

thearpy helps you see the reality of things. it helps you see your fault s or error so you dont feel so much like a victum with rage.


My deep dark secret - I once was a stalker

Post 4

speciak

i have a some-what stalker. He follows me everywhere, and gets upset when i don't acknowledge him in the proper way. He gets defensive and everything, but it's not to the point in threatening. He's pretty much like a shadow. Hes extremely book smart and socially ignorant. He's realy dark. i don't know how to describe him, cause he's not gothic, just dark, morbid...i've never been in a relationship with him. i don't know what his deal is.

to your issue, past is past. don't feel guity for it.


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