h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*E holds the strollabout steady so that Quorn can fit the viruzar...they were approaching the co-ordinates sent to them by Croz...*

You know, I'm sure that those Beatles could be usefull somehow, but I just can't think what they could do... In the movie, they made all the Blue Meanies run away...

Yes, well if that viruzar is hurried up being fitted then we could fire it & save them before we get to the co-ordinates Croz gave us...

*Not being able to stand seeing the Beatles abandoned, puts on Personal Jet Pack Unit, check batteries in Mark II Acid Sleetzar and exits the shuttle.*

I'll catch up with you later.

*Powers towards the nearly-engulfed yellow submarine, dodging purple splodges.*

Give them my regards, Garius, and Good luck!

*Approaches yellow submarine. Hears faint singing: "I'd like to be, under the sea, in an octopusses garden ..."*

*Fires Mark II Acid Sleetzar at close range at purple splodge near front windows. Virus writhes, then falls off. GL peers in the window. Singing changes: "I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place, for we just met ..."*

*Attatches Viruzar to Hull*
OK, I'm done. Fire when I'm appropriately distant!!!

Here's the blue touch paper.

*watching on monitor and speaking into comm unit*

Garius! Something's going on here! There's a breech in the hull of the Submarine! A gaping hole I think Paul's coming out... yes... yes... he's Fixing the Hole...

~Irving

I'll see if I can lend a hand. Aft' all he wrote Mull o' Kintyre it's the least I canae do.

*DD puts on environmental suit ready to go help the stricken sub*

*The Strollabout approaches Seven's heart*

Vow! just look at that
*The virus, attached to Seven's heart glows a menacing shade of Fuschia*
*Checkout moves over to the controls for the viruzar*
*Speaks into the doughnut communicator*
Keptin, ve are at Seven's heart, pweparing to fire the viruzar!
Bye bye Wirus!!!
*fires the Viruzar at the virus*

*The virus starts to detach itself from seven's heart and writhes on the floor*
*It melts and turns into a warm pile of sludge*
Keptin, ve have killed the centre of the wirus!
*Checkout moonwalks across the deck*

Ok, that's the hard part done with. All you have to do now is get out of there as quickly as possible before Seven's body starts attacking you instead of the virus

This Sub's in a bad way it'll take eight days a week to get this repaired but I'll see if I can do it in a hard days night

Ve have no time DD!!
Pwepare for a tractor lock
*A Tractor beam attaches itself to the yellow sub*
I hope the Beatles don't mind leaving seven
Croz, vhere can ve exit Seven?
*shudders at the possiblities*

Oh no you guys in there - I'M GONNA SNEEZE!!!!

I hope you're not disturbing Beatles in there - they're part of my remaining Bjorg systems - every Bjorg is equipped with clones of the Beatles, their music is what keeps us sane whilst listening to the boring monotone collective voice all the time...

*Strollabout flies up Seven's throat*
Ve are going to take the beatles with us, the more bjorg systems ve remove, the better Seven's rehabilitation will be, besides, ve need some entertainment in ten forward
*Getting ever closer to Seven's nostrils*

Quick, head for the lungs. If Seven sneezes he might just sneeze up out.


Doctor, quick, get a tissue and hold it in front of Seven's nose!

ah...AH....TIIIISSSSSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Sneezes with incredible velocity, bringing up the away team in a gloop of Bjorg mucus*



Inside the shuttle, two rows of people sitting down looking like Cheshire cats due to the vast G-Force...

*Anxer appears in 1969s space suit* Its one small step for man, One Giant Leap *Anxer notices hes in the wrong forum* Whoops

*The Strollabout is sneezed back to http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=33797&thread=44466 taking the Beatles with them*