h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Checkout closes the double checks the hatch on the shuttle*
Ok, ve are ready!
Everybody onboard check in...

*E is waiting, tapping her fingers gently against a control panel whilst she waits to try & pass some time...*

*Irving is manning his IIEM, and not even thinking of muscling in on Ten Forward's buisness *

~Irving

*The donut communicators snap on*

I'm monitering Seven-Of-Up and your life lines. Is everyone okay over there?

*Yeoman Rand is practising sitting down and standing up in her pre-feminist uniform*

*Stares furtively at the Yeoman's pre-feminist uniform*

~Irving

*Stares furtively at the weapons console*

*DD complete a check on the propulsion systems*

*squeky voice* We're ready to launch.

*Trips over a grain of sand inadvertantly lying on the deck*

Is this where the Galaxies are saved?? Saving Galaxies - that's what I like doing!! Who are we fighting against??

Hey you guys! Can you hear me? I've gota major itch...

*scratches near to where the needle went*

I hope I missed everyone!!!

*stands near Captain's chair. Looks concerned*

*Stops staring at the Yeoman and turns to the Alien visitor*
Indeed this is where the Galaxies are saved. I myself am a relative newcomer, but the story, so far as I can figure is like this:
Seven-of-Up, lying on the table there, was rejoined with the Bjorg collective in order to facilitate our escape from their clutches. However, once disconnected, Seven was having a major malfunction due to the trick we played on the Bjorg. So now we've shrunk an away team and we're sending them in to combat a foe of our own creation. Simple enough?

~Irving

Who the hell is Yeoman Rand ???
*Appears to be the only one who doesn't know*
Forget I asked.
Greetings, Alien *offers handshake*. I am Quorn, son of Quarn, spoof of Quark (Mr. Pavel won the spoof sweepstakes btw). I'd make you a drink except I don't have a bar, but as we're all 2.5 cms high, I guess it would have to be a minibar!

HAHAAHAHAA!...
hahahahaha...
ha ha.....
ha...
hooboy.

Oh yes, any comments about my deluxe-sized olfactory senses will be met with due force... Thankyou.

So, ladies and gentlemen, where exactly are we headed?

*Steps out for a cup of coffee*

*...And walks straight into massive tennis balls*
IW: What the...?
*Checkout pulls out a monitoring device*
Hmm, this seems to be Seven's blood cells *motions at tennis balls*
Ve should be careful, the wiruses could be nearby...

*Eve a rather large alien walks by but says nothing, he appears to be looking for the bar*

Yellow blood cells how strange, and what a simmple yet complex looking pattern on them.

Viruses...?

*E turns around and sees one coming their way...*

Watch out!

*Brandishes Viruzar Mk I*

Damn, I really should have attatched this to the hull.
ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT!!

Nobody fire snowzars or phasars, we don't want to damage Seven!!!
Get back in the shuttle!!
*Everybody tumbles inside, apart from ensign Cannonfodder who is devoured by one of the viruses*
Hang on tight, Dr Croz could you give me dircections to an area vhich is not affected by the virus so ve can attach the viruzar to the shuttle?

*Runs outside of ship and sees (comparatively) huge purple splodgy viruses trying to barge past the Strollabout*
*To rest of crew* RUN, DAMN YOU!!!
*Carefully takes aim at virus and pulls trigger*

*PHIWOFOWWY*

Phiwofowwy? That doesn't sound good... *inspects weapon*
(UNDERSIDE) Insert Crater Labs Inc. X-tra Hi NRG Battery here. Note: Never leave home without one!!!(/UNDERSIDE)

DAMN!

*runs speedily from virus*