h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Strapped to a table in the dungeon-like basement of CLI, Minoova the maid-bot is strapped to a large table. Afgncaap5 walks up with a dangerous looking device*

Hello, Minoova. You're going to go offline for a while, but I'll be rebooting you. When you come to, you will have new programming, a new voice, a new body, a new CPU, a new coloration, the whole deal. Don't worry. Ampton tells me that this is completely painless.

*Pushes a button on the back of Minoova's neck*

Turning off a sentient robot is always the hardest part of this job.

*comes in to watch*
Affi.
I need to have tools my size. Found jewels and rare things way down in caves. My caves!
I need a pen. Maybe a computer? rock hammer, screw driver, awl.

*looks at dead robot on table* It would go bad soon anyway, yes? being controled by such a small brain, heh heh hhe

Nods sagely

*sings softly with his- er... nods*

*grooms whiskers and waits for Affi to stop concentrating on bot*

*Enters carrying Encyclopedia of Minor Planets, version 2000* I'm going to pick an asteroid name for this one. Y'all can help me choose.

More than 160 asteroids have been classified as "potentially hazardous" by the scientists who track them. Some of these, whose orbits come close enough to Earth, could potentially be perturbed in the distant future and sent on a collision course with our planet.

I vote for one of these ones.

Some earth crossing asteroids can be found here:

http://www.eecs.wsu.edu/~hudson/Research/Asteroids/


Loony, I'm interested in why you are attracted to these in particular. Care to elaborate?

And for those of us without the hardcopy version of the encyclopedia:

http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/cfa/ps/lists/MPNames.html

The earth-crossers, also known as the Apollos. Yes, they have names. Not all of them are suitable names for a maidbot though.

WM, I thought we could use the perterbed asteroids to wipe out anyone, or thing, tampering with the staff, animals, chattels and visitors at Lils.

"If it was a male bot, 3541 would be nice"... types an egomaniac

Alviella is a favourite... as are Koruna, Zerlina, Yumi, Wisse, Viola, Urda, Tsurui, Thoma, Sybil, Sveta (a big fav!!), Smale, Stahl, Sif, Reiss, Rarahu, and Quadea.

More to come?

Hmmm... Sybil would be appropriate for a bot prone to personality disorders, but that programming is being removed, right?

It's interesting how everyone's asteroid awareness is so much higher these days. Used to be, nobody knew what a minor element even was.

I was looking back over the time of the christening, which was just when Quorthon's bon voyage party was ending, and I saw a name that I thought was quite good but which I passed over for Minoova. Odradek came up with the name "Matina". I like it. What do y'all think?

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Kamari! I think that's in the Aegean, not far from Corfu.

But do you like Matina? It's got that foreign lilt. Hm, a Greek maidbot this time.

The Greeks are sturdier than the French - and they don't blow up Greenpeace boats in NZ

Matina... reminds me of matinee ... which reminds me of something entirely other- not pleasant

My RL little sister had an imaginary friend named Matina. It seems appropriate to me that a Matina creation should take up resididence at H2G2.