h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Seeing the others cease their pursuit, Lil dismounts while Ferrari keeps the line taut, and hogties the hapless and hairy stranger, then stows the shigalasso*

They'll be back soon enough to get you.

*remounts and heads further down the trail, then stops abruptly* Did I hear Red?

*meanwhile, Odra and Redbeard have been continuing slowly down the corridor to reach Styx. Behind them in the tunnel, slight creaking and scuffling noises are heard, then faint footsteps. Quietly signaling Redbeard to halt, and stepping behind him, she radios Affy and GL*



Are you two in the tunnel? lf so, use the second button on the right -- the black one -- to set your radio to track. lt will lead you to us, and we'll find Styx and meet up then.

*switches second channel of radio to track, grinning to self*


Affy should certainly find that vibrating-track feature on that garter interesting...

*Redbeard and Odra press on, drawing nearer to Styx*

I hear you Studlady.
*to other rats*
These are ok humans. We go forward and meet them, you keep ears open behind.
*rats move forward*

*Pushes the black button, and sees the tracking mechanism for the first time*

Well, look at that. Quite the techie, that Odra. According to this thing, we aren't too far behind, but we'll have to hurry to catch them.

*Picks up his walking pace, and follows the trace*

*Lil and Ferrari ride along at a quiet walk, watching and listening, when they notice a change in the quality of the trail surface, from beaten dirt to tarmacadam. Quite abruptly they find themselves at the edge of the jungle and looking out over a fairly well barbered park*

*Ahead of them is a massive temple-like structure, its white, windowless marble walls gleaming. The area is as pristine as if gardeners had just left a moment before*

Ferrari, it's the Guide!

*Affy and GL hurry along through the maze of twisty tunnels, all alike. From the vibrations on Affy's belt, he can tell that they are getting close to the others. As they pass a cross-tunnel, Affy's sword suddenly begins to glow fiercely. They stop and look at one another.*

Whatever the threat is, it is down that cross-tunnel. I don't know, Affy. Should we deal with whatever it is, or continue on and join up with the others?

*They exchange glances again and both grin.*

Some things never change, eh?

*They head down the cross-tunnel.*

*senses two humans ahead*
sniff sniff sniff
*harsh bark of satisfaction* Huh! Odra and the cook. Come on search rats! *bounds around curve in tunnel and sees humans*

OK. Just two of you? Where are the others? Will you follow me back to Ampton? Or do we do something else? What are those flowers?

*white rats move into the open and stare at humans*
These are search engine rats. Should be six, one missing. Maybe they help?

*Keeping to the jungle's edge, Lil and Ferrari circle the great marble temple, admiring its smooth pomo-classic lines and marvelling at the beautiful parklands and fountains that surround the great building. Ferrari communicates to Lil via orchid a faint vibration beneath his feet*

*The area seems to be completely deserted*

*Two-thirds of the way round their circuit of the Guide Temple, they find a smooth white pavement path leading to the entrance, set deep behind a row of pillars*

I don't see anybody. Do you smell anyone, Ferrari?
*the horse shakes his head*

Well, we have just got to take a look. *they advance up the path*

~Elsewhere, Red is not lost, but has lost the group. He has decided to continue on by ground towards the mines, which is oddy the same direction as CLI should be. He comes to the edge of a jungle thicket and looks down into the valley below. There, to his amazement, he sees the Mine, with a gigantic CLI logo above it. Below the logo he sees a seven letter word. He can make out an S at the begining, followed by a T. there is an M in the middle, and an "ED" at the end~

STUMPED!

~Red says under his voice, realizing that the Krymla Leader must have finally overcome Afgncaap five in this universe, and merged STUMPED and CLI into one! Suddently, a blue ape lands with a thud just in front of Red and looks very menacing~

BLUE APE: Ook!!!

RED: Nah... it couldn't be...

*to Styx*

There should be two of us. Affy and GL were behind us in the tunnel and following. They should be here in about...
*checks for tracking LED and vibration...realizes that...oddly...*

Er.
*fiddles with radiobracelet, fiddles some more*
This can't be right...Affy and GL -- well, Affy, at least -- seems to be moving -away- from us, not towards. That doesn't make sense, unless this thing's malfunctioning. l'll radio them.

*presses talk stud*
Affy? Affy? Hello?
Hello?
This doesn't look good...

*studies tracker again*
Well, okay. lf the tracker's still going, we know at least the radio itself is functioning, and that Affy still has it, at least, although he seems to be ignoring it.

That or the two of them were ambushed in the tunnel or somehow taken prisoner. l hope that's not the case -- but with that elvish-blade sword as a warning, l'd think the two of them could take care of themselves, but l hate to leave them...

*tries radio again*
Hello?

*realizes with a start that he has been daydreaming about tray after tray of gourmet food, served with caviar, brandy, and port*

Huh? Oh, Hi Styx! Good to see you! Say, you look like you haven't eaten in a while. I've still got some cold filet mignon -- that's beef steak -- if you'd like some. *offers some meat to the rat*

I sure am glad I'm with you, Odra. I'd be lost in these tunnels.

*Affy and Garius have been moving up the cross-tunnel, the sword glowing brighter and brighter! Affy was getting so tense about the possible danger, that when he felt the vibrations from the tracking mechanism, he dropped it. It took a bit to find it again*


Odra? Odra? That you? Okay, look, we were going towards you, but we saw something really interesting that we thought might be fun to check out, and...


*Two piercing red eyes gleam from the darkness*


Er, we'll call you back. Unless we're dead first.
</COMMUNICATOR*

*Affy gets into a fighting stance, sword at the ready. GL morphs into full wolf mode. They both stand, ready to fight whatever might be hiding in the darkness. Then, a terribly familiar being emerges from the shadows*

No...it can't be! IT'S MONTRESSOR! MONTRESSOR'S HERE!

*BTW, I won't be online for a few days*

[Sure, leave ME with Montressor]

{Aside to others: Montressor is a custom-built robot similar to Ampton, but including all of CLI's most advanced weaponry. He was commissioned by Red for use in his aim to stop the mission to Zork, and was built by the evil personas of GL and Affy. He is pretty much indestructible and has no known weaknesses.}

*As the chest-plate of Montressor opens to reveal a laser cannon, GL leaps forward and around Montressor. Montressor swivels to follow and the ground behind GL sparks and smokes as the laser quickly catches up. Just in time, GL makes it around a corner in the tunnel. GL changes to human form, thinking that at least now, with Affy on one side and GL on the other, Montressor will have to divide his attention and fire.

Cautiosly, GL peers around the corner. Montressor has swiveled back to face Affy and has him pinned down in a doorway. GL pulls out his snowzar, sets it to infinity and fires at Montressor. All motion from Montressor stops. Hesitantly GL and Affy approach.*

Affy, do you remember what defenses we installed in Montressor to defend against snowzars?

*Just then Montressor gives a squeek and the permafrost can be seen to be thawing*

Oh, yeah. Nuclear heaters.

*GL dashes back around his corner and Affy dives for the doorway, just as Montressor opens fire again.. GL thinks: well, that gave us a couple of minutes. How could we disable him in a couple of minutes... *

*Lil dismounts, and she and Ferrari walk up the smooth white stone path toward the entrance, or what looks very much like the entrance. Birdsong can be heard in the distance, and the sound of a breeze gusting periodically in the huge oaks and cedars of lebanon that dot the parkground. Beneath all this, almost felt, rather than heard, is a low steady hum.*

It's beautiful here, but not very human ...

The door to the temple is a huge slab of black glass which slides back with a faint hiss as Lil and Ferrari approach*

*stops and tosses his head, eyeing the entrance with suspicion*

Are you sure we should go in there?

Affy! Garius? Lil! You aren't going to believe this, but I think I've just found... Ook! Or one of his descendants.

(muffled voice)Ook!

(Red again) How long do apes like Ook live? He's here at, well, it's the mine, but it's also... you're going to have to see it with your own eyes. I was just thinking, though, if Ook's here, might, well, other non-researcher characters have survived? Like Garius' parot, or that tap-dancing sloth... or maybe even Ampton! I hope we don't have two Amptons again. We've done that plot line at least two or three times now.

Red out.



~Red's voice has a strange effect on Montressor, who suddently disarms his weapons, stands at attention, and salutes. He does not resume attack when the transmission is over~

*GL catches Montressor's salute at the end of the transmission and hesitantly steps out around the corner, snowzar in hand. Montressor swivels to watch, but otherwise doesn't react. GL walks warily past Montressor to Affy, who has also stepped out from his cover. Looking over their shoulders, they begin to retrace their steps back up the corridor. Montressor quietly follows.*

GL (whispering): Affy, I'm not sure this is a good thing.

*GL and Affy reach a cross tunnel. Neither can remember which way they came. They start down the left tunnel, but Montressor hurries in front of them and turns around, pointing down the opposite tunnel.*

GL: Looks like he thinks we should take the other tunnel. And I don't think disagreement is an option at this point.

*GL and Affy dutifully turn around and proceed down the opposite tunnel. After one more similar wrong turn and correction by Montressor, the emerge into the original tunnel that Odra and RB went down. Recognizing where they are, GL and Affy exchange surprised looks.*

GL: I guess he WAS trying to help us!

*Soon GL and Affy and Montressor have caught up with Odra and RB.*

Hello, Odra. Hi, RB. We found Montressor.

*Did this forum die while I was away, or something?)

*GL's last post came just about when I was busy moving from Phoenix to Flagstaff -- must have been while my computer was down and gotten lost *

~Meanwhile, Red, lead by Ook -- or the Ook descended Blue Oragutang (I can't spell that word. That's why I always call him an "ape") -- down to the mine. There, he watches as the Ape Men take off their ape costumes, under which they are wearing CLI uniforms, similar to the ones worn by the crew of the Mangar. They procede in herding a large number of slaves into a mine car on tracks. They then throw a lever, and the car goes down into, well, into the Crater. The mine at the bottom of the Crater~

I don't think Affy and GL are going to like the sound of this when I tell them, Ook.

OOK: Ook!

No, I don't this is the best time for a game of Scrabble. Or backgammon.

OOK: Ooook.

What do you mean "captives"?

OOK: Ooook! Oook. Ook ook.

No, Affy and GL are in the tunnels -- we just talked to them, remember?