h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Amos enters CLI from the side entrance where the stairs lead up to the atelier, but he strides forward and enters the public labs of CLI*

*under his arm he carries a small orb wrapped in burlap*

*he looks around for someone, human or android*

*Ampton enters. He sees Amos and waves a greeting*

Ampton, me droid, good to see you. I'm going to need to get this here orb adjusted before I takes the horses out again, and we'll need to do that when we takes that pine tree back home. Indeed, that's going to be a right perilous journey... I don't think we'll want to be treating it like another hayride, mark my words.

Can I give you this to give to the boss men while I goes upstairs and get me some food?

*Ampton nods and offers to accept the orb*

Thanks very much then.

*Amos hands over the orb in its burlap wrapping, with a nod, then turns and heads back to the side entrance and up the stairs*

*Ampton wanders away and takes the orb to the magical research building*

*Affy catches Ampton in the research building and sees the orb*

Ah, right! This thing. Now then, I cast Jindak on it earlier and discovered that it was definitely magic. I suppose the questions /now/ are....WHAT type of magic is it, and HOW powerful is the artifact itself.

Now then, I'll start with Zorkish classifications, those are generally the broadest. Only broken into classifications for the sake of adding a few extra questions on exams, I swear....now then.

In Zork the three broadest types of magic are High, Middle, and Deep, respectively translating into Creation, Transmogrification, and Enlightenment.

Hmmm,....how to test this....I suppose I could construct a Voxam Reality Chamber....I've got enough Translumynite....

*standing in the hall, just outside the door, not only is Amos distrustful of most magics, but he is distrustful of CLI security and never knows quite where he can go*

Beggin yer pardon sir, but I got that orb from Styx the Rat. He told me to treat it delicate like because it were made for rats and that means it's real sensitive. He made it so Bonnie and Clyde could defend themselves even when they was hitched up. If it does owt else I don't know about it!

Now Mr. Affi. we has to take that Christmas tree back home in the next few days, and as I was telling yer assistant, we really needs a handpicked crew to do the job, seasoned fighters if you know what I mean. Them killer rabbits has come down from the high places and we're all going to have to work as a team.

I was thinking that we could do without the wagon if we could get up the mountain some ways and then siganl Miz Amy to fly the tree in. We has plenty of good horses for riding, and all of em responds to that orb there. It's real handy when your mount can fight or fly.

*Affy turns around in surprise, wondering how Amos made it across so much of the Crater so quickly*

Ah, Amos! Come in, come in. I think you've just answered my first question. If it was made exclusively for rats, then I would imagine that it was created with a core of Middle magic and an exterior shell of Deep magic. That would certainly explain the way that it caused those horses to change shape, and it would also explain why the Jindak spell triggered it. The Jindak spell is almost exclusively considered to be a Deep Magic spell, even by those who don't hold to the classifications frequently. Such as myself.

Regardless, if that chase down the hill was any indication of what's in store for the trip back up, then yeah, we need to handpick people. Not just take volunteers.

We should probably limit ourselves to six or seven. That's about all that one can reasonably assume for a decent party, especially in a place like Mt. SandEverest. If we can hold off a few days, Garius Lupus might be able to help us, but there's no guarantee of that.

I'm sure that Miz Lil can explain everything to the tree, Mr. Affi. I heard howling up there, I always hears howling when I goes up there any more, and Mr. Garius, well, you know yourself sir, if anybody can deal with things what howls, it's him.

And he won't be needing a horse, either.

What happened to that warrior bloke what looks like you? He looked like a good fighter.

Oh, the Warrior....he was another adventurer, probably an ancient uncle of mine. But he came from a world called Zork, and he came from several centuries ago, so as soon as we got back here I sent him back to his proper place and time. I suppose I could hypothetically try to get in touch with him again, but given the nomadic properties of the average warrior adventurer of that time period, the odds of him being in the same village that I dropped him in are slim. He's probably fighting a grue near Largoneth Castle as we speak. Or rather, he *was* fighting a grue near Largoneth Castle as we speak....or....yeah,....

As for howling things, this does sound like a job that Garius should be a part of. Be it some lycanthropic creature or some other animal, he's definitely had the better communication experiences.

We should probably make the list of people that we know for a fact should go before we begin thinking about who else to hire.

*Catches the tail end of the conversation as he walks in.*

Hi, Amos, Affy. What's this about howling? You guys cooking up something? I just got back, so you'll have to excuse me for being a bit out of touch.

GL! Just in time. We've gotta take a Christmas Tree back to the section of the Magic Forest that is on Mt. SandEverest. However, Amos says that he's heard howling around there lately, plus when we first got the tree we were ambushed by some of the killer rabbits....only, these were like mutant killer rabbits who were even more ravenous than normal. They practically chased us all the way to CLI were it not for a bit of fancy air driving on Amos' part.

Now that you're here, we can ask your advice, and ask you to come along with us.

We'll probably also want Amy and Titania. Amy's DragonFly Bot would probably prove invaluable, and Titania's a pretty skilled mage.

*doffs his cap to Mr. Lupus* God to see you again, governor.

This being Twelfth Night, I better go upstairs and have a word with Miz Lil so she can tell the tree our plans. Dye think she ought to come along too if she can talk to them trees?

*heads out and up the stairs*

Hmmmmm. Mutant killer rabbits. As far down as the old Lurker's cottage. Something is definately wrong here. I wonder....

*thinks for a moment*


Dredges through his memory, more like


You know, I left a pack of wolves guarding the slopes of Mt. SandEverest, keeping the killer rabbits in check. Now if those rabbits have mutated...


At least, I think that's where I left them, and I think that is what they were doing. Wish I could find the thread. The leader of the pack even had a name.


We'd better get up there soon to investigate. All of those researchers you mentioned would be helpful and I'd ask d'E and Zeppo along too - those two always seem to, er, I mean, they normally are, um, well, I just think they should come. And Caerwyn, too. you know, I could use a rich tea biscuit about now. And don't forget Witty - she's very resourceful. And...

Hmmmm. Are we getting too many?

No, I don't think so. I'd initially thought six or seven, but those are all people who work well together in this environment.

So let's see. Amos, you, me, Lil, Amy, Titania, d'E, Caerwyn, and Witty makes nine. Nine's a pretty respectable number for an adventuring party. There's probably even room for one or two more if we can think of any more good people.

*comes in with Amos, who has been filling her in, sotto voce, as they came down the stairs*

Garius! It's about time you showed up.

I heard you naming names as I came in. This must be a serious quest if you're hand-picking a team! Well, Amos explained about the tree upstairs, so why don't I go have a word with it? And then I think we should contact the others via their personal spaces, so as not to cause any fuss upstairs.

Garius, did Amos tell you about the howling?

FYI, Lil, the Magic Labs aren't really connected to the same building that houses the primary CLI labs and the Atelier. They're a seperate structure, much like the Junkyard's Shop and the Brig.


*Affy suddenly remembers that he hasn't seen Darkwood for quite some time, what with his absence of nearly a year. He wonders what ever happened to that tree, and mentally resolves to go find him after this mission is finished*

Mt. SandEverest should never be taken lightly, Lil. Normally the lower parts that have the Magic Forest on it aren't too dangerous, but since there've been a few....eccentricities, I guess you'd call them....in the flora and fauna in that section, this mission has become more serious.

Hi Lil. I did take a while to get back from that prison planet - took a little detour on the way


I really MUST catch up with the Affy-rescue backlog before I say something that breaks continuity.


Yes, I did hear about the howling and I have some ideas about it too, now that I've heard about the mutant killer rabbits. But that will have to wait until we actually get out there. And speaking of which, I think we should go and get the rest of the team rounded up. I think the only other Atelier adventurer that we haven't mentioned yet is Sol.

I had no idea that there were separate buildings, Affi. I always viewed CLI itself as one structure with many unknown things on various subterranean levels. How far away is the Magic Lab? Could I have stepped into a SWIFT (sideways lift) to get there?


OK, I'll go round up the others, then.