h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*enters, looking around*

All the horses is saddled up to order outside, and we has two pack mules loaded up. Mr. Affi, Ampton is on one of the mules and if you don't want him along I'm afraid you'll have to be the one to tell him.

I hope that prentice shows up. I read where he is a Marine. On a jaunt like this, a rifleman will be a real boon.


Mr. Affi? I'm putting us on the Clydesdales Bonnie and Clyde because, well, the ratmagic won't come out. They'll still pull a plow, but they be shape-shifters now, so it's well best if a magic-user rides em, if you take my meaning. And we might find it handy to fly anyhows.

*having checked through as many pockets as she can find in her combat suit and using her Palm spread sheet comes to the conclusion that......*

I think we have a more than enough biscuits to last us as well as a good supply of Skips and Hula Hoops, I know Amy likes those.

I also have the melamine tea kit, some for emergencies and I came across two bars of Imperial Leather, those are always useful as those soap dispensers are so often empty in public loos.

Ampton? Well,....I don't think there's any pressing business that would require him to stay at the Crater while we're out. And Chesworth can handle any really major problems. As long as Ampton doesn't break its back, he's perfectly willing to ride along with us, I guess.

*takes to the air and checks Caer's provisions*

Have you remembered the bourbon biscuits?

*flies around in circles for a while*



I only like Hula Hoops in online adventures. If you ever meet me IRL please don't try to feed me Hula Hoops 'cos I don't really eat things like that

You know, I keep meaning to analyze the Philosopher's Stone and Elixir Of Life that Ampton won from FACE. I've never really been able to examine either of those closely before. I've always come just so *so* close to getting them in the past....

*walks over to a big stone, followed by Gandalf*

*Ti climbs up on the stone that is high enough for her to manage mounting Gandalf, riding bareback*

*together they might look something like this*

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/regis.duval/galeries/contempo/serie1/eva.jpg

*now, we all know Ti doesn't look quite like the girl, and Gandalf the percheron is more dark grey than white, but it'll give you a general picture. Lil has a more accurate picture somewhere, but I don't have the link*

Did you know that Legolas' horse is part Percheron? In the film, that is...

Amy, I shall make sure not to offer you Hula Hoops IRL

*sizes up Tommy*

My, you're tall!

*approaches him with one shoulder towards him, then blows gently into his nostrils.

Tommy raises his head and shakes it slowly and looks at Caer out of his closest eye and a connection is made*

* She concentrates really hard on picturing herself leaping into the saddle (much like Legolas) and takes a few steps and leaps*

*much to her amazement, she founds herself in the saddle and facing the right way*



Yes, I do have bourbons and Jaffa cakes

Have we got some Kendall's mint cakes? I've got the mbougatses.


Are we going to keep to one thread, this one, for the quest? Seems simplest to me.

Go adventuring without Kendall mint cake and Cadbury's ? I don't think so!

*hurriedly checks her spreadsheet whilst Tommy stirs restlessly*

Steady on boy, we'll be away soon enough............Yep, got mint cake, Lil

*flies outside* hovers next to Gandalf*



I wonder how many horses they used in the filming of The Lord of the Rings? There seemed to be thousands and I couldn't spot any 'copy and pastes.'

Where's the tree?

*Saunters outside, pulling on a very smart pair of elbow length gloves. Glances up at Amy...*

Actually, I believe it would take a good botonist. The fur, while largely indistinguishable from the real thing, is actually a variety of moss found on the planet Mink.

*Coronet and Sol eye each other up in silenece for a while. A satisfactory conclusion seems to have been reached by the horse, who moves over to a large rock so that Sol can alight in as ladylike manner as possible. Sol ennds up looking stately high up there with the reigns gathered calmly in one hand and her cloak spread elegently over the nether part of the Coronet. Who seems to appreciate the gesture.*

I belive the custom would be to drink a shot of vodka and eat a salt cucumber at this point.

*Produces a flask, small silver glasses and a small silver platter and offeres it around.*

Vodka and cucumber? Most appropriate, m'lady!

*chews, sips*

OK, the Navajo it is. But if we're riding, I should change this chain leash back for a regular one, I think. I was hoping to keep a tighter grip on Zeppo with this, but it's more suitable for a boat and anchor than a horse and dog.

/* Unhooks the chain and put's Zeppo's regular leash back on, then mounts the Navajo. */

*moving out of the building to join the others, Lil goes to stand by Ferrari, who is tacked up with a western saddle, bosal and breast strapping*

We still have to wait for our apprentice, but I expect him to be along soon.

Amy, I was wondering the same thing about all those horses ~and~ their riders; I haven't seen anything that vasty since the 40's version of the Charge of the Light Brigade! I loved it!

*Witty approaches Aladdin and looks into his eyes. The horse gazes directly back at Witty.*

Amos says you're clever, Aladdin. I hope so, 'cause I'm counting on you to look after me.

*Aladdin nods his head as if he understands and turn to the side to Witty can mount. She manages to clamber up without too much trouble and, once seated, finds herself amazingly at home in the saddle.*

Okay, then. I guess I'm ready.

*Walks up to his horse, nervously taking a few deep breaths*

I always avoided this part of most previous adventures when I could....I've had to learn horse riding, of course, but horses, spaceships and dungeons don't mix well. Of course, that was what I thought before I encountered the Phobos Invasion Force....

*Closes his eyes and mutters something about Yahoos before jumping onto the saddle*

Okay! Nice horse. Er, uh....I'd cast Nitfol, but I remember what a simple spell like Jindak did....

*Notices Ampton performing fancy circus tricks on his fancy steed*

....showoff....

*Rushes in the door, panting. Is dressed in American style camouflage ccomplete with boonie hat. Has a rather large backpack hanging from one shoulder that appears to be full. There are various items strapped to the pack including a full-size crossbow, sleeping bag, and several canteens.*

Sorry I'm late everybody! Didn't mean to keep you waiting.

*Looks around and eyes go wide when he sees all the horses.*

Horses? Don't we have something else I can ride, maybe a flying carpet? I'm rather Equinophobic when it comes to riding or even touching horses you see.

*comes out with the two groombots who helped bring the tree down from the atelier and who are carrying the wrapped tree now* Take that over there where the cargo net is laid out and help Miz Amy balance the load.

Och, don't ye worry about Clyde, Mr. Affi. He likes humans, he does, and he'll work hard to keep you on board. Er, I cut some slits in that saddle in case he should sprout wings again. Just keep yer legs a bit forward and it will all work out fine.

*Amos walks over to Bonnie, who still wears harness, but no blinkers or check reins* I'm keeping traces on Bonnie in case there's any pulling to do. I never uses a saddle anyway. *springs up onto Bonnie's back, surprisingly agile for a man of his bulk*

Now where's Mr. Zomnker?

*delighted*

Aha! There you are young fellow! And well-kitted out, too, like a good soldier.

Don't worry about the horses. I picked our Shamrock out especially for you cos he can talk. And we has these VES things, Virtual Equitation Saddles. As soon as you gets in you'll find you knows how to ride.

Shamrock and me are going to make a seasoned hootoo adventurer out of you, Mr. Zomnker. Everyone here will give you advice and help.

*jumps off Bonnie and goes over to hold Shamrock next to a picnic table* Here use this to mount up.

Shamrock (speaks): It's cool, man. Just get on.

*Amos looks over at Mr. Affi and shrugs* More ratmagic.

*Looks at Shamrock with much trepidation*

Well, I suppose that with all this gear I'm wearing, I'm not really touching you, am I?

*Climbs aboard and promptly falls right off the other side. Picks himself back up and tries again, successfully this time.*

This is bad, very bad. *shudders*