h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did you know that one of the ingredients of Preparation H (Pile cream) is Sharks Liver Oil. Now, what I would like to know is, who came across Sharks Liver oil is a cure for piles. Did an eminent scientist type dude, who just happened to be suffering from a rather sever case of bottom itching, and, who lived by the see, decided one day to go out in small boat with a large gun and shoot the nearest shark. Upon killing said shark, did the prominent scientist then proceed to rip out its guts and smear the oil from its liver over his sore cheeks!

This is only one of the mystery's with which I think the human race should really concern itself with, not alien abduction or breast reduction surgery!

But, what if it was an alien who discovered
shark liver oil? And what if he discovered
this while trying to give a shark a breast
reduction?

Isn't it Preparation H an Ointment - 1 oz. tube or larger? I do think that the cream prepares you.
Preparation H - oh Look! Embarrassed to talk about hemorrhoids? Well, you shouldn't be - you're not alone. Anyone can get hemorrhoids, even if you're healthy and in shape. In fact, one out of two Americans will someday get hem ... eh? what are the statistics on the rest of the world!!

I've often pondered the same question regarding shark's livers remedial effect on botty probs. There's another fine ointment aptly named Anusol. No mention of an H there, but maybe there should be.

Another urban legend from Amerika: horrid morning 'on air pesonalities' (who said this wasn't the home of the oxymoron?)always used Prep H as the answer to : what is the most frequently shoplifted item in an average grocery store? We never knew if it was from the customers or the employees...

Ah! This had not occured to me. This would provide the ideal answer to me query. Now, would this also work for Velcro?

PS. I don't personally suffer from piles or any of its close relatives include Thelma from no. 48. I just have a curious and somewhat odd nature!

The question was posed as to how and who exactly discovered that shark liver oil relieved lower sphincter irritation. The answer is not quite as simple as a professor in a small boat shooting a shark with a large gun, then disemboweling the unfortunate vertibrate and accidentally sitting on its liver whilst naked. Many tiny steps and lessons were taken and learned, leading inexorably towards this final shark-population-devastating conclusion.

Many fine scientists and biologists risked their lives for each tiny floating sliver of information that would one day revolutionise posteria relief.

The first such lesson would have been learned by early man. Whilst paddling in the swash perhaps looking for tasty sea morsels to take back to the tribe. One moment searching for sushi - next moment chewed up churvy swept out with the tide.

This inevitably made sharks a target for fear and loathing. As man's skills grew he was able to catch and kill sharks for food.

Even today, parents still chastise errant children for playing with their food. It was centuries of playing with food that taught us many of the restorative and curative properties of the shark.

Not to make light of a horrible disease, but I recall back in the late '80s, early '90s that the Chinese Cucumber had been said to have some effectivness in treating AIDS. How did they figured that out? Hmmm.

Doctrine of signatures?