h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Commonly known as the 51st State of the United States and a
member of the Anglo-American alliance currently teaching the world
that english is the only language to go to war with. It's people are a
diverse group, some still living in feudal times while others are
forward looking. Famous United Kingdomers include it's first female
prime minister (U$ governor) Margaret Thatcher who in 1979
showed that within ten years it is quite possible to destroy a hundred
years of culture before implementing what became known as "care
in the community" a kind of insurance policy for her after the country
woke up to the fact that greed isn't good and kicked her out
(Rumours that her and Reagan are both suffering from the 80's
disease of "forget the past and have no conscience" have yet to be
validated, though Reagan does swear he was never president and
Thatcher claims to have helped the country somehow) The Province
is headed by what was called in the history books "a queen", not
much is available for the functions of said position but she stands as
a shining example of what life on state benefits can do for
longevity.The exam for the post is notoriously difficult in fact her
present heir has been studying for the position for over fifty years
and is still is not qualified to pose for coinage or stamps. The UK is
blessed with beautiful countryside and has many famous buildings
including the selafield "science never sleeps" tourist extravaganza
where each week people buy tickets known as "the lottery" to guess
the number of acres of cumbria that will be destroyed by the next fire
there. Sport is a great tradition there and the UKers have created
some of the best known games, shove half-penny, Moris Dancing
and football to name but a few, the UKers never excel at these game
however yet take great pride is knowing they invented them.
Coversation is never at and end with a UKer and they excel at
meteorology which is a compulsary subject at school from age 2
months. The country has an astounding military history allowing them
to single handedly win two world wars by hidng in tin cans laid side
ways, urinating on invaders legs and sniffing their behinds;
commonly known as the bull-dog spirit (not to be confused with the
dunkirk spirit which is the UKers ability to take pride in running
away). The UK is well known as a multicultural society and this is
shown with the average UKers command of many languages,
including english spoken in many foreign accents coupled with mass
gesticulation.Visitors to these shores will also be delighted to discover the UKer's ability to laugh at themselves.

Hello Fergi! You miss-spelled your username.... how is prnce Andrew?!

Hmmmm - I don't think you like us Brits, do you? What a very jaded view you have expressed!

It may be a very jaded opinion but how accurate is it?

Hmmmm Interesting...I'm Scottish and Proud - now lets see the reply's flood in!!!!!!!

Scottish, Does that mean like a Scott. Scott Bacula, Scott of the Antarctic, Scott Henrickson. By the way could you answer a question for me: Is it possible to be outdoors in Scotland and Warm at the same time?

I would like to express my feelings about what it means to be Scottish.
Firstly unlike popular opinion Scotland is not in England and Scots, although sharing the same Kingdom with 3 other countries are very different from the people of these countries. Reply if you disagree (bet it will be an Englishman that replies).
Oh and by the way - is this site also available in the land of the free? (USA for those of you who don't have a clue what I'm drivelling on about).

I don't think it was the H2G2 creators idea that
it turn into an country by country slagging match.
BUT as long as it remains light hearted (which already
it is not) then it should be fine. Oh and being British
I laugh at "Ferdi's" simplistic view of us - but truly
being Scottish (and also proud) I would appreciate if those
sort of remarks were aimed purely at the English denomination
of the population. Oh and if any american would like to oppose
Ferdi's view then let us know so as to raise your alredy tarnished
image.

Is it true that when a Scot comes to live in England he/she/it** raises the average intelligence of both countries?

Is it also true that every single surname ever invented has its own tartan?

**delete as appropriate

As pointed out by my fellow countryperson, the scots are not English.
The rumor that the to nations are the same could only have been started
by a jealous Englishman!
And come May 6th we will have a voice to prove it in the New Scottish Parliament!
Yipee and all that, but does anyone out there think that it will be any different to
Westminster??

I'm english and am of the opinion that if the scots have the opertunity to escape the british parlements out dated oppinions they should take it. When they have escaped, can they come back and rescue the rest of the the island. We tried to vote them out but ended up with more of the same.

Fairy--stop posting messages in Olde English!

Oh, sorry Fairy! I meant Heidi!

So much hatered here between the scottish and english here... and BTW us americans do get access to this site

It's not hatred exactly, we are just happy to be different and point out those differences. People will always divide into groups and sub groups, it's not evil it's just common interests.

Erm, How do we know that "Fergi" is not English?
Many english people *do not* like england.

Na it's not hatred..unless it comes to sport.. it's just friendly banter...we brits have a dig at one another over the region we come from..accents are huge here...as is class

Of course its available to Americans, its on the Web isn't it!
Well of course people from different countries have their differences but what we tend to forget is that we all have a lot in common, so its time we stopped dwelling on those differences with a negative light and started to enjoy them, this message comes from an Irishman, who lived in England for 7 Years, now living in Northern Ireland and used to go out with a Muslim Scott. Life is too short.

Those Scotch folk are doing fine left to their own devices - killing each other off at what are euphemistically called football matches.

I too am Scottish and proud. You can read my user pages (and hopefully soon official guide entries) on Pi and Mathematics.