h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just happen to be a Scot As Well and in passing noticed Mr Vainstone's mathematical note. Out of curiosity, Mr Vainstone, are you any good at formulae and sequences (finding terms etc.?) I would be greatly obliged if you would drop a note about it, as it has caused me to kick myself to hell and back trying to understand it. As for Scotland, one has to mention that it has some absolutely gorgeous sunsets, which I can see through my window right now. In my opinion, it wouldn't be the same anywhere else in the world - not to me, anyway.

By the way where is Scotland??????

From a long and rambling dissertation on what's wrong with the UK (quite obviously posted by a half-wit with no knowledge of history let alone manners) to inter-racial warfare on an island only 800 miles long in under twenty messages.
Well done, guys and gals, you have proved all the zealots right. Once you have your independence, can we look forward to bickering about which side of the street you live on, or maybe you could re-create the iron curtain in your living room to keep your mum out as she once smiled at one of those awful Frenchies.
Stereo-typing without humour is not big and clever or well intentioned, it's just bigotry. AND, incidentally, one of the reasons that the SNP believe that Scotland will be able to stand up as an independent nation is because they intend to maintain closer relations with Europe as part of a "United States of Europe".
It's not a bad idea as it goes, certainly it doesn't seem to have done Idaho too much harm, so stick that in your "we don't need the English or anybody else" pipe and smoke it.

The English live under the misguided ideology that 'this sceptic isle' is still the centre of the known universe. Famed for their unswerving desire to live in the past, they sill recall the heady days of Queen Vic, Brunel, The Duke of Wellington, Nelson, and Newton.
Back to when we ruled over one third of the globe, and the Empire wasn't just a run down cinema.
Success in The Great War of 1914 - 1918, and it's sequel, World War II
19 39 - 45, ensured that the English would have something to talk about over tea and biscuits for years to come.

Football is the national sport of England.
We invented it, we were good at it for 50 years or so,
then the Hungarians got good and taught us a lesson.
Then the Germans and the Italians got good and taught us a lesson.
Then the Brazillians got v-e-r-y good and taught us a lesson.
As did Norway, USA, Morocco, Timbuktoo All Stars, The Tesco Second Eleven and some primary school children.
The English press like to indulge in a little nationalistic mud slinging whenever England play Johnny Foriegner.
e.g. England play Germany - 'WE won the war' '1966 and all that'
'Up yours Adolph !' Schnell Achtung Ve Vill Never Surrender'

The bulldog spirit is very important in English sport.
This involves the English team / sportsman / woman trying valiantly for a while then, in the end, failing miserably.
Perversely, the more miserable the failure the more popular you will become ( see Frank Bruno ). The English are suspicious of success.
Anyone who soundly thrashes the opposition on a regular basis is to condemned as 'big-headed' or 'arrogant'. This is true not only in sport but in many facets of English society ( see Spice Girls and Prince Naseem Hamed ).

One interesting point to note is that whenever an English team / Sportman / woman wins, it is a superb victory for English sport.
But when a Scots / Irish / Welsh team / Sportman / woman wins it
is a superb victory for British sport.

I'm going to be different and say I'm English and ashamed. I think it is disgusting how racist England is and think it is stupid that we fight over which country is the best in the U.K.
I also agree with your point over English and British victories in spoet, that truely sucks.

Scotland is situated at the cold, pointy end of the British Isles, just under Earth's little white kipper.

Hardly accurate at all. I recommend the original poster to visit us sometime. Although that would involve him leaving the US.

If the UK's so bad how come Americans are so keen to have it as their '51st state'?

Most English people do like England. We let the others leave without hassle ...

Well ferdi---- guess we are a yank aren't we judging by your atttitude to us Brits---- just one thing--- you have never one a war of your own--- except the civil one -- then you had a no loose situation--- mind you-- you still lost that one too!!!!!!!!

For the love of God, will everyone shut up. National Identity is perhaps the most constrictive form of catergorisation ever. The ideology being - He's American ergo he drives a big car, wears a stetson and has a pistol on his belt. He served personally in every major conflict of his nation, being in command for all of them.
What kind of tit for tat point scoring crapola is this. I have no shame for the history of a country that I wasn't even born in at the time. Conversly, I have no pride for a country who's history I wasn't in at the time. I happen to be English, but don't really have an opinion about the Scots as I haven't met them all. The Scots who have posted letters here so far seem intent on putting down anyone who's English, because they are English seem to have become that which they started off despising about the English - Displaying a stark propensity towards bigotry and predjudice.
Remember, don't feel ashamed at what you have no control over. And by the same token, do not feel proud over circumstances you did not achieve by your self.

Hooray. I am going to look up your page.

'One interesting point to note is that whenever an English team / Sportman / woman wins, it is a superb victory for English sport.
But when a Scots / Irish / Welsh team / Sportman / woman wins it
is a superb victory for British sport.'
Oh dear, not that again! I'm fed up of that old crap, especially since I hate sport. I'd much rather think of Scotland as my home, and is therefore the most beautiful place on Earth, even in the foggy rain. You get to love the colour grey when you're Scottish, as well as the feeling of getting warm after being really cold.

51st state? I'm an American, and this is the first I've heard of that. The only time I've ever heard of speculation about a 51st state it was Puerto Rico.

Bloody Hell!
When I signed up for this lark I thought even my tired mind might shine but having digested such a profound, and may I say, marvelous piece, I might have to head back to the beer section.
Of course, I am from Northern Ireland!
Any chance you fancy sending of a few copies of this to the movers & shakers in the peace process?

Hm...

Popped over to check your home page, Phil...

Said "Peace and happiness to all"...

^-.-^

Who was it that colonised America, anyway? The US shouldn't bother celebrating Independence Day, I think we should instead. How can we help it if our blessed child turned up to be a spoiled little brat, with nuclear warheads as rattles and Russia as a teething ring. How can we be blamed for its hugely inflated ego, and the fact that its only non-martial form of expression, being Hollywood (reading books would take too much education), cannot possibly cope with any story that does not have a hopelessly happy ending? When can it accept that it won't always win at everything, and throwing tantrums (a.k.a. F-117s) won't help?

actually my passport says "british" on it though it is an EU passport..oh well, as I am an internationalist I find it quite how shall i say "amusing" that so much nationalistic fevour has been sparked by such an innocuous and fun poking posting, i suppose nationalism must be alive and well then..shame

actually my passport says "british" on it though it is an EU passport..oh well, as I am an internationalist I find it quite how shall i say "amusing" that so much nationalistic fevour has been sparked by such an innocuous and fun poking at stereotypes posting, i suppose nationalism must be alive and well then the olde UK..shame, though milosovic would be proud of you all

To most of the world, England is Great ( ? ) Britain, and vice versa.
I'm English, but have very little idea of what that means. My wife is Scottish. She seems to have a much stronger idea of her national identity. Yes, she hates the English. Or should I say she hates the English media's attitude to the Scots.
As an example, Gary Bushell said recently ( and I'm paraphrasing ): One reason England is great is because England is an island.

Er, no. Sorry Gary.

Anyway, why are we all arguing about Britain joining Europe ??
Let's join South America, where the weather's better !!