h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1)..you see a Sunderland Echo headline "Burglars cost Sunderladnd over £1million" and think "shit, that's more than Darren Byfield. Who is this Burglars bloke, some Latvian fella?"

I'm wearing a T-shirt from the production of Shakespeare's 'The Tempest' that I appeared in. On the front it has a famous stage direction from the play: 'Enter Mariners Wet'. It always makes me think of Grimsby Town playing in the rain.

You continually mis-read tapes labelled as 'W Indies v England' as 'Widnes v England', and find yourself wondering under what conditions such a friendly could take place.

Widnes v England, rugby league maybe? (well, maybe not now, but it might have been a decent game in the late 1980s, possibly...)

During holiday's from university, I work in Widnes. Godforesaken dump it is, and I'm not sure they have a football team, although Runcorn now play there, so if Runcorn FC Halton sent an invite to the FA...

I come from Widnes... my parents still live there.

Some of it's okay (the town centre's a darn sight better than it was ten years ago) - and it's miles better than Runcorn or St. Helens...

Widnes don't really have a football team, you're right - and Runcorn (playing in Widnes 'cos Widnes' stadium is better) aren't exactly doing well at the moment either. Which I guess is why I suggested a rugby league match would be more sensible...

Although, thinking about it, definitely Everton reserves, and possibly Liverpool reserves, have played at the Halton Stadium too... so maybe we could make a tenuous link...

you know, I had a whole response planned and written down- then h2g2 went kerplooey, closely followed by the PC I was on, so time top start again:

Yes, Everton Reserves did play at the Halton Stadium (or Autoquest Stadium as it was called when I was a regular for the reserve games), before moving back to haig Avenue in Southport once Runcorn moved into Widnes. Runcorn moving because they'd had to sell Canal Road to Tesco or some such to relieve the debts.

Liverpool have never played reserve games at the halton stadium, other than against Everton. They have played at knowlesly Road, St. Helens and I belive currently play at the Deva in Chester.

Granted, Widnes town centre's improved, but on the downside Toymaster has gone downhill fast,a nd they knocked down Simms Cross Curios to build the Asda they''ve been "building" for a while now, and so far they've managed to build a pile of rubble.

Tastebud's cafe is a redeeming ferature as well. it's possible that my dislike of Widnes comes from the fact that most of the Widnesians I meet are rather disagreeable types. No stereotyping or mass Widnesian-hating there, it's just I work for a Legal Aid solicitor so it comes with the territory.

And hell, I grew up in Penketh- I've spent most of my life trying to convince people that Fiddler's Ferry Power Station is actually in Widnes, or at leasdt Cuerdley, as by my reckoning it should be- it's big, it pollutes, and it it (or was) ICI. You must admit the distinct aroma over Widnes is unpleasant.

And better than Runcorn and StHelens- maybe, but that's hardly a shining example is it? And I believe Widnes was the only one of the trio to make the "idler's Guide To Crap Towns".

But you know, i do have a soft spot for Widnes. Not only do I get paid for being there, but it's really handy to amke Warrington look good...

You're quite right... some Widnesians are pretty disagreeable types, I agree. I certainly don't plan to live there in the future. Or anywhere nearby. Knowing my luck I'll get a job at Daresbury labs or something...

... Fiddler's Ferry is most definitely not in Warrington or Penketh, it's in Widnes or Cuerdley if you want to be more specific I guess.

And the smell... well yes, that's true. But it also hangs over Runcorn... regarding the "50 Crap Towns" book, I couldn't believe Widnes was there and Runcorn wasn't. What redeeming features does Runcorn have? At least Widnes have a half-decent town centre and a decent sports stadium!

Widnes isn't a bad place to live either... particularly some of the newer estates.

Interestingly, the road signs on the Warrington/Widnes Road do suggest that it's within Warrington borders, or the entrance to the site is at least. And what with Fiddlers Ferry yacht Haven and the Ferry pub being in penketh it might seem slightly churlish not to accept the hulking monstrosity as well.

This is an exceptional lebvel of local detail to go into on hootoo isn't it.

Oh,a nd one redeeming feature for Runcorn:
The shopping city library has (or at least *had*, I don't know if it still has) a very nice cafe in it, which i went to the onlty time I went to the Magistrates court in Runcorn (my boss ahd forgotten the file, so I had to hop on a 110 bus to go and give it to him...)

Well, yes, it is rather exceptional... especially since I haven't been living there for quite some time now...

And well done for finding a redeeming feature for Runcorn!

I try me best!

I haven't found one for West Bank yet

another redeeming feature for Runcorn....the cinema is a hell of lot more comfortable than the one in Warrington, better seats with far more space!!!!!!

And just so you know, the Canal Street ground in Runcorn was originally sold to Tesco although they have now sold it on to different developers and the main reason they sold it in the first place was because it was in severe danger of ending up in the canal!!!!

and just so I've said it - You know you're obsessed with Rugby League when...you start talking about it in a football thread!!

"And just so you know, the Canal Street ground in Runcorn was originally sold to Tesco although they have now sold it on to different developers and the main reason they sold it in the first place was because it was in severe danger of ending up in the canal!!!!"

Oh yeah, I vaguely remember you mentioning that to me the other week. Was it when we went to Liverpool?

Oh, and I've never been to the Runcorn cinema- when did you go?

(And, as the thread's shot to buggery already, I'll choose here to tell you of a mistake in the new Playfair cricket annual.

According to the photo credits, the white guy in the England helmet on the front cover is Brian lara, while the black guy saluting the heavens on the back cover is Michael Vaughan...)

I'm pleased someone's finally noticed that

For a while there, it was a clear case of N-O T-R-Y...

Egon, this is *exactly* the level of local detail I expected on h2g2 - have you done a Guide entry on it?

*inserts another harmless plug for A1286886 *

I can just see it:

Peer Review: A22222222 The complex local hatreds of Warrington< Widnes and Penketh"...

There, back to the original title. And we've been all round the houses on the football front with non-league and Everton reserves...

Incidentally, does anyone know exactly why Northwich Victoria are wanting to move away from the oldest football ground in the world?

They are?

We had a client once who set fire to a bowling club near Northwich's ground.

oh, sorry,, we had a client who *quite definitely didn't* set fire to etc.

ooh, so they are.

http://www.nvfc.co.uk/stad_doc.htm

I first became interested in the Vics when I had the old Premier Manager 3 game, because they had the ground capacity at the Drill Field down as 16,000 - which made things far easier as you progressed up the Divisions.

So I got curious, and went to watch a game there one Easter when I was back in Staffordshire and bored...