h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~Alone in a small, unexplored corner of the Aroma Café's Majic Forrest sits a rather good sized building, completely obscured from the distance by trees. Behind it is a surprisingly established vineyard. Inside, the Masque of the Red Herring is bottling his Special Red Election Wine, and loading them into crates with straw for cushioning. He works deliberately, methodically, but with a sense of urgency. You see, Irving Washington doesn't know about this little operation, and as the election draws closer the Masque is growing more and more anxious that Washington never find out~

reporting for duty, sir!
*gives a sharp salute*
i believe i can carry up to five crates, telekinetically of course. let me know what i can do.

At ease, soldier.

Well, we've got about fifty crates worth of wine to move, and Irving will be back full time this weekend. He's sure to discover this place by then. So do what you can to move these crates, five at a time is very good, back to the War Room forum at the campaign HQ. I'll stay here and continue bottling, crating, and packing.

allright, i'll get on it right away!
*starts on her ten trips, which takes about an hour*

*appears out of thin air*

Ahh, i've found the bottling room! Good work Master, i will distribute this lot as fast as i can. *Vanishes with several bottles*

Well, it looks like the crates are busy getting carried away... Maybe I could help with bottling and packing?

*starts to work without waiting for a reply*

*re-appears, looking verrrrrry hyper*
can i blow the place up once we're done with it please please please please please please...........

Yes, that will most likely be neccisary. However, wait til we've got everything packed up, first. These campaign buttons are fireproof, and we don't want to accidentally leave any evidence behind!

Looks like all the crates are out of here. Somebody help me put these barrels in the van...

/Red

*helps Red load the van*

Alright, looks like everything is loaded up. There are explosives in the cellar, sea, and some tanks of gasoline, as well. Make sure to get good coverage with this explosion, we don't want to leave any evidence. Everybody else, into the van, and back to the War Room at my campaign HQ.

/Red

*appears in a cloud of smoke and hovers looking dazed after having banged his head in the teleport*

Red Fish, you might want to get out of here. We're getting ready to blow this winery sky high!

excellent....
*starts pouring gasoline over the building and setting up the dynamite in strategic places thet will give the explosion the best overall effect*
allright, everybody out!
*pushes everyone out of the building toward the trees. when they are all at a safe distance, she pulls out a radio detonator and presses the button*

*Irving, strolling thrugh the forrest at a distance, is startled by a sudden, far off explosion! As he hurries over to investigate, he sees a black van, with a liscence plate that reads "STUMPED" driving at a high speed away from the scene. The flames, burning extremely hot, subside quickly, and Irv is free to survey the rubble of what appears to have been some sort of structure, built on his property without his knowledge. Here and there he finds plant matter, and in one corner, a charred bottle. The remains of the label read:
"*h* M*s*u*** *ed El***on **ne"

Irving, unsettled, heads towards the cafŽ with the bottle in hand*

~Irving Washington

*in the speeding STUMPED van, far away from irving, sea pulls out a bottle of Red Election Wine*
i think this calls for a toast.
*glasses appear, floating in mid air. she pours the wine*
to red and red, future dictator and vice-dictator of H2G2!

*As Affy, the Holistic Detective, is on vacation, Irv decides to follow the tracks of the gettaway van*

*RedFish, who was still hovering in the building when it exploded, falls to the floor with a crunch*

ooowwwwwww

Where is everyone? Hello? Hellllooooooo?

*reappears, looking around nervously*
i thought i pushed everyone out of the building! oh well, come on! you can't be caught here...
*grabs redfish and runs away from the ruins*