h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok Katsy, I'm here waiting for you!

This one is to draw attention to pop music in the UK, and how it should be forbidden!
I mean, westlife get millenium #1 over John Lennon and Cliff Richard. That is criminal enough, but I've had to put up with this music scene for -years!-

It ends now. I'm camping out the back end of the Aroma Cafe, and, well, we'll see what happens!

Phew. Nobody's sussed me yet.

*sprays mandatory Up The Irons*

Also sprays logos for Iron Maiden, Saxon, Slayer...
...anybody know the Black Sabbath logo?

*sprays mandatory rude things*

Quotes Basil The Great Mouse Detective:
"Ooooh I lovvit when I'm nasty!"

*ponders spraying a massive full-fize-colour-magnificant-picture, but then remembers why he's here*

*sets fire to a bin LOL*

ROFL!

Nobody's caught me and this is one of the busiest places on h2g2!

But are they ignoring me? .

Ignore this, punks!

*lets off firework into the cafe*

Mike, it's one thing to have your own little corner of my café. Lots of customers have favorite tables, and I don't mind your posters. But the pyrotechnics are dangerous. Please keep the explosions to a minimum.

Thx,
The Management

Who said you were the management?

I happen to like Westlife thankyou very much. Don't forget though that song was the cover of an Abba one and Abba gave them special permission to do it. It sounded different though cos in the original one there was a woman singing, but Westilfe are a boyband so obviuosly it sounded different. Abba wee very touched actually and it gave them the chance to be #1 20 years after they released it! Bjorn was on the radio and thanked them actually!

Hmm, this reminds me of something I read on a Cream website. About a Cream re-union.

Jack Bruce and Ginge Baker are all for it, but Eric Clapton isn't. And then the article went on to discuss the money that could be made and I'm thinking "sell-out city man!" Which is not what I expect from EC.

Talking about sell-outs, next to me her is Slipknot's Wait & Bleed. Now, how the f*** did slipknot make it big? A bunch of American nancies in uniforms and masks. Methinks some suits have been working in the night figuring how much money they can make out of these prats...

...and that pretty much sums up the 90s music scene. Even Iron Maiden are giving Britain the miss. And that totally justifies the firework and burning bins.

Umm, now I've been discovered, what do I do???

I'm the management, because I own the café. It's my page, I serve the coffee, and I have to keep the customers safe from the fireworks.

EC doesn't need the money from a Cream reunion, and that's probably why he's not "all for it". Didn't they get back together a few years ago, anyway? For a concert or something?

~Irving

If the fireworks were to hurt any of these magnificent oak trees or damage the Majik tea plantation, well, that would be an unhappy and counterproductive thing. I mean, after all you went through at the Security Depot ...

As for what you could do now you've established this little niche ...
1. go into business with Ferrari and deliver special messages...
2. go into business with Ferrari and offer pony rides...
3. set up a telescope
4. collect goods to send to Mozambique.

just some ideas.

Lil, could I ask you a favor?

~Irving

*displaying her psychic prowess*
Why Irv, I'll be glad to help with float design!

Irv, Cream got back together to play some stuff when they were put into the Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame.
And from what the article said, Clapton's manager was all "gimmee money from this man!" despite they'd have easily got pots of cash.
And maybe Eric's seeing it as unneccesary. He's living the high-life. So is Jack (Ginger I'm not too sure), but not on the same scale. So those two would be wanting the dough, of course, and also to get musical kicks!
Whereas Eric dosn't need the dough, and is doing fine with his own stuff anyway.

Personally, I'd be all for a Cream reunion if they did some new stuff and didn't go repeating themselves from their glory days. They'd still have to kick ass, as well.


Man, guess this didn't work out like I wanted it to. Damn damn damn .

What did you want it to do?
Oh, and thank you, Lil! I'm certainly impressed with your psychic abilities!

~Irving

I wanted this to show people that the current musuc scene is pants. People know this, but just don't care. I want people to care. Guess I'd better get out of the house and start killing policemen. Join the IRA or something...

Here's a solution: get out there and record some decent music, so that people can see the difference! That way, you don't do all the prison time...

~Irving

Here's my problem, man!
I'm in a band, but wo of the band members aren't as into it as me! And the other one (Urchin on h2g2), well I'm not quite sure about him.

And nobody will take us seriuosly cos we're kids. I mean they all get The Goodies on Top Of The Pops but they'll laugh at us! All because we're different!

There is a solution, and it's not hard. We's into Death Metal, methinks our music will veer towards punk/deathmetal/anymetal, so just right a few songs that'll shock and make grannies die of heart attacks and we'll conquer the world!

Starting with:
No surrender, no surrender, no surrender to the IRA!

Hmmm... mayhaps...

~Irving

Mike A has an excellent point but isn't thinking it through if he goes to prison . Please don't go to prison, Mike, the net priveleges suck.

And shocking grannies is going to work less and less as time goes on and the grannies are young enough to have been raised on rock themselves.

Ask yourself where this dreckrock comes from. Whose interests does it serve? ANSWER (wish I could make it blink): The Music ~bidness~.

The solution I'm hearing about involves starving the mega-moguls to death by promoting the one thing they are terrified of -- MP3!

The problem with MP3s, from an artist's point of veiw, is that if your record company isn't getting any money, you aren't, either. And though greed is the last thing that should interfere with music, money can be useful for things like guitars, amplifiers, oh, and the food that feeds the musicians... without wich, we wouldn't have any MP3s.

~Irving

But I thought with that system the band collects directly! As I've had it explained to me, the band puts up a website and offers free samples. If the person likes what they hear they can purchase songs individually and download them. You could register with a favorite band like you do with amazon, and buy songs with a click (I think that part would go through a sort of middleman the way purchase of shareware is handled). End of mega-bidness middleman. Band benefits directly and can go out and purchase ramen noodles and guitar strings.

And the user can put the songs on an MP3 player or burn them onto CD. Why, the band could even sell their own CD's, now we got our own CD burners....