h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Over the last couple of months a lot has happened, perhaps too much. This has resulted in my becoming depressed well, more depressed.

Over the last couple of weeks I have become very irritable, I have been snapping at my kids for the smallest of things and I actually snapped at Jen for a very stupid thing, that nearly lost me the most important thing to happen to me in the last 8 years, more on that later.

I have become very unmotivated where school is concerned. I don't even like going to play racquetball anymore, I love racquetball. It is hard for me to do any homework, I just don't care. I have actually considered dropping out.

Recent changes in the welfare system require that I work 25 hours a week as well as be in school for 13 hours, this doesn't allow much time for homework. I am currently doing an unpaid "internship" for my 25 hours. The government is also requiring twice weekly progress reports from all of my professors, what I have to say about that will get modded so you will have to see my live journal entry for that comment. http://zomnker.livejournal.com/34366.html

The ex-wife, I don't know why but, she still angers me A LOT.

Last night (Halloween) Jen came over so we could talk. I was not looking forward to this talk because I knew it was going to be uncomfortable. I won't go into all of the details because they are private to me and Jen but we discussed my apparent anger problem which results in my snapping at those I cherish most, we also discussed the need for me to begin seeing a counselor for depression. I found out, after the fact, that if I had not acknowledged that I have a problem, Jen would have left me.

I woke up this morning feeling nearly the same as I did 5 years ago when I attempted suicide. I have been in a near-tears state for most of the day and have actually cried at least 6 times in the last 13 hours.

I have an intake appointment this coming Friday, I will probably ask to be put on medication while I work with the counselor to sort out my problems.

I failed to mention, raising 2 children by myself is also taking its toll.

Oh dear, oh dear GDZ: I hope you are able to find some help and some peace. Depression is a terrible thing, and there is a great deal of stress in raising kids by yourself. Especially as a single Dad. I am glad that you had a good talk with Jen even if it was uncomfortable. It sounds like you have a very very good and supportive person there. Hang in there until your appointment. We are pulling for you, really.

Not knowing a lot in detail about depressions, it seems to me that you're doing a lot of right things. Hang in there!

GDZ. You are a very good person and I'm sorry for your pain. I'm glad you are doing something about it. Hang in there.

Hi, I know it isn't easy but try to get some "YOU" time, things that might seem little like a bath with cadles and smelly stuff, yes your a bloke but so what! Just a half hour soak can work wonders and de stressing.
Try not to give up the sports, sport is a good way of fighting depression as is a rountine and gets the old good chemicals in brain going!
Yep, make sure you keep your Friday appointment, you need to sort this out, maybe you could say to your kids that you aren't well at moment, so they will understand you being in a temper......believe me I know exactly how you feel, I have been there, read the book, bought the postcard, so to speak!
Take care,
SS.

I hope that either the counsellor or the medication, or both (it seems to be different for everyone), can help.

- everything I can come up with has been said already.

Hang in there... I know how depression feels and while I'm not going to offer any deep and meaningful words I just want to say that I'm willing to be ranted at if needs be ([email protected] - minus the fake).

Not much to add, GDZ
I hope you can work through this and get better.

Big hug. I've supported DH through five years of depression (including 3 breakdowns). Sending huge sympathy vibes and wishing there was some practical help I could offer.

Mol

GDZ: How are you doing today? I liked the suggestion above about You Time. Even five minutes can help. Also, getting aerobic and doing the sports can give you an endorphin rush that will help give you a feeling of well-being. You can also try dark chocolate too.

When I was going through menopause (a very scary time for my poor husband, believe me) we finally had to sit down and have a meaningful talk about my moodiness, rage, manic energy spurts, crying jags. It really helped him to know that all of this was just "going on" and it wasn't really directed "at him". So talking with your kids and explaining what is going on for you could probably help the situation. And you might find a surprisingly strong source of support and love if you did.

Hang in there. Sending healing energy.

Thank you all for your well wishes, they mean a lot.

Today is so far better than yesterday, not that that is hard to accomplish. We'll see how I am later.

GDZ, you have so much on your plate that it is no wonder you are feeling the strain. And we all tend to take things out on those closest to us because we like to think they will love us no matter what.

Hang in there and with your appointment.

I have just spoken to Jen, she is glad that I have more of a support structure than just her. She agrees with all everyone here has said. She especially liked your suggestion Strangely Strange.

There isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. You have a lot of good friends here and we'll always support you as best we can. I hope this all lifts soon.

Get yourself some counseling, GDZ. As you might already know, some work on a sliding fee scale. You can contact the YWCA (yes, I know they advocate primarily on behalf of women, but they can put you in touch with therapists regardless of gender), Planned Parenthood, your local public health department, or university health services. All can point you in the right direction, if cost is an issue. You should also be on medication. Hopefully, your counselor will concur.

Rotten thing, depression.

s

Depression can be helped. Lord C. has been taking medication for it for awhile now. Believe it or not, light also helps. We sat one long winter with his head in my lap until our wise family physician prescribed Prozac (can I say that?) for him. He took one look at L. and said "Are you depressed?" It was the beginning of the road to recovery.

Good luck to you. Jen sounds like a jewel!

Jen does sound like a jewel - and it's something to be joyful about, that she would care that much about you.

I definitely recommend mindless exercise - racquetball with a friend, running, jogging, biking, anything that tires you out. I found that it's hard to be depressed when I'm tired. My mom doesn't like repetitious exercise, and she suffers from clinical depression. She likes exercise that shuts her brain down so she doesn't have to think. So I guess it's different for everyone.

The other thing that got me through my depression was lots of video games - Abe's Oddysee especially, although I have to say that the Mudokons dying nearly brought me to tears. I got a little... involved, you might say.