h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

GDZ,
you just talk away on here about how you are feeling, it really is good to talk about such things, the thread tittle clearly says it is about depression so it is expected!

Venting is good. And beneficial. We have large shoulders that are teflon coated, we can listen and let it flow off us.

And how are you today? Sending you some of this amazing blue sky energy we have here in the Ozarks today.

Today is undecided, which is much better than one of the options!

Few things last forever, Zomnker - and thank Bob depression's one of them.
Some day soon the fog will lift and you'll realise that you feel more positive and optimistic about everything and can start enjoying life again.
You've just got to hold on with both hands until that happens. Getting some counselling - and possibly some meds - will help you hold on.
And so will we.

I'm here lurking and sending warm thoughts your way, Zomnker.

Today has been pretty good. I got 3 good games of racquetball in and I got to beat the hell out of a couch with a 10lb sledgehammer!

I did send Jen an email this morning about a concern of mine, we have yet to talk about it but we will do so in the next 24 hrs.

GDZ,
well done for getting out there and doing things!
Depression is like a rubber band, it wants to pull you back and keep you in your house. But when you get out and do things you actually enjoy them....stretching the rubber band to start with is the hard thing so well done!

How did you get to attack a couch? I agree about the rubber band thing - getting out of the house is hard, but it also really helps. You can have a terrible day out of the house, but it's always better than the terrible day you'd have had in the house.

The couch was partially in the compactor at the place where I am currently working. Had to beat the hell out of it to try and get it all the way in.

I wondered if it was like one of the charity car smash things. Taking out your frustrations at work is even sweeter.

I wondered if it was part of your therapy

I did too! When I get down, I like to get a cheap old coffee mug and throw it against the back of the fireplace chimney in the carport. Of course, then I have to clean up the shards, but seeing it break to smithereens is real beneficial. I really like the idea of pounding a sofa to pieces with a sledge hammer. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Racquetball does much the same thing, can beat the hell out of the ball over and over.

Taking a sledgehammer to a grand piano is a great way to relieve stress, too.

I was just talking about the benefits of breaking crockery here at work today. I've never broken a dish on purpose, but they have broken because I've done something stupid in anger. Usually cools me right down. One time I was playing carpenter, and having a hard time of it. I was so mad that I wanted to bang something with the hammer, but I couldn't find a clean surface. So I cleared the workbench with one swipe of my arm, and banged the hammer several times on the empty spot. Worked great!

Cringes at the idea of destroying a grand piano

I have never thrown anything in anger just to watch it break. I can't even imagine doing that. I suppose I'm too repressed for my own good.

I have been reading this book called The Five Love Languages for Singles, it is by Gary Chapman and was given to me to read by Jen. It has been very good and I have "discovered" something I knew all along. Of the 5 Love Languages, I "speak" Physical Touch the most fluently.

I bring this up for a very good reason. This coming Thursday Jen is flying to Seattle to visit some friends for a few days. Unfortunately, I am unable to go with her. I keep thinking of the three full days in which I will get to only hear her voice, the three days where I won't get so much as a hug (kids are supposed to be with their mother that weekend) or a pat on the arm. Things I really like receiving, things that I quite frankly need.

I feel really bad for feeling this way too! I know she needs to get away from work for awhile, I know she needs to see her God-Daughter. All I can focus on is taking her to the airport and dropping her off, not even getting to see her plane take off. The fact that I get to pick her back up when she comes back doesn't even enter into the equation at this point.

When she comes back she works the next 2 days, 12 hours shifts both and then we finally hit a day where we can have some time together with Thanksgiving. That is so far away into the future though that it makes no difference right now. What matter right now is knowing that there are 3 days where the most I will get is to hear her voice.

A much needed addition to my last post:

I say I discovered something I already knew. I like to be touched, in the smallest ways. A simple brush of a finger across the cheek makes me feel very loved. This is something I don't/can't really get from my children much anymore. They are getting old enough that society deems it inappropriate for there to be too much physical contact between them and their father. This denies me a much needed nay, required, form of affection. Something I am only able to get from Jen on a constant basis any longer.

Focus on the important thing, Zomnker - she's coming back.
The next few days may be tough but you will cope. There's generally at least one of us from somewhere around the world hooked up to the internet at any given time - come on here and shout if you need us.

And have a from me.

I agree that being touched is important.
Without meaning to be trite in any way, have you thought about getting a cat or dog? Stroking a pet is very calming - research shows it brings down stress levels and blood pressure of the stroker.
Not quite the same as a loving human hand, I know