h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The idea is to create a mixed metaphor that makes sense, if even only in a quirky way. For example:-
Failure to understand is a lot jam on the road to progress.
Got the picture?

I wouldn't trust that shower in the Cabinet

The older I get, the more I revolt against people telling me what to do, in fact you could say I become more revolting with age

I went on a date, but it was short. I only metaphor an hour or so.
She compared me with her previous boyfriend, which was like comparing apples and oranges. I finally bit the bullet and left.

I had butterflies in my stomach but no one would lift a finger to ease my nerves. I finally flew the coop.

"Let's dance the light fantastic."

"That'll be hard. I have two left feet."

"I'll tgeach you what to do when you go for tea. Just lift your pinky like this."

"But I'm all thumbs."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course I can. Mum's the word."

"You're expecting a lot!"

"I expect that *you* are expecting."

My friend invited me to come over and chew the fat, but the prospect of this gave me butterflies in the stomach.

The manager of the open-mike comedy show told me to break a leg, but when I got out there and faced that unforgiving audience, I died. Still, I was being paid handsomely, so I cried all the way to the bank.

I called my pet lion "King," as he was king of the beasts. His favorite food was chicken a la king.

Stop looking at me that way - look at me, when I am talking to you!

How dare you talk to me like that! Don't you know it's rude to speak with your mouth open?

The Flat Earth Society is a bit of a let down